Heather's Growing Family

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T17:09:00.002-06:00

This year's Christmas has been wonderful in our family. We attended Christmas Eve services and everyone behaved very well (sometimes a challenge). The kids came home after dinner at my parents' and went straight to sleep. They needed to make sure they were sleeping well before Santa arrived.

Matthew was the first child awake this morning. He was up around 5:15 am. Normally, I would have sent him back to bed and told him it was too early but we had a special friend coming at 6 so I had to get up in 15 minutes anyway. I made him wait until 5:30 and then let him wake Jacob up so they could explore their Santa gifts together. Both boys have been good this year so their stockings were full. The only glitch is that the firetruck Matthew got was broken. Luckly, I know a store in the area that carries them and we will try to exchange it tomorrow. Other than that everyone got what they wanted. My brother even bought us an XBox 360 Kinnect so Jacob is no longer the only child in his day care class that doesn't have a video game system. Of course, I had more fun with it this afternoon than he did. Not to mention I got a good workout jumping while river rafting and playing a little football.

Our little friend, Aidan, spent the holiday with us as well since his mom had to work. It was nice having an extra kid around to enjoy. He kept sneaking under the tree and opening gifts when we weren't looking (he's only 2 1/2) which actually made it a little more fun. Of course, there were some presents for him as well so he had his own gifts to unwrap and enjoy.

We are now relaxing while the frozen pizza finishes cooking. Then we will probably watch the Packers beat the Bears and secure home field advantage for the playoffs (hopefully). I can't think of a better way to end Christmas (unless you are a Bears fan).

Christmas Fun

2011-12-19T18:20:00.003-06:00

I am trying to get the pictures and video to upload but am experiencing technical difficulties.

Christmas so far this year has been a lot of fun. One of the great things about being a parent is that you get to watch the fun of the holidays through children's eyes and enjoy new experiences every year as they grow. Even on the most difficult days at work, I can know that I will get to see my children in just a few hours.

Jacob and Matthew did a great job in their holiday performances. They both loved singing and Matthew's class had the most fun version of Go Tell It On The Mountain I have seen in a very long time. The song just fit the kids outgoing personalities and was a lot of fun to watch. I am really hoping I will find a way to get it to upload here soon.

Jacob is really loving all of the new activities he is old enough to participate in. I am having trouble keeping him to just one activity but so far I have held my ground. I am a strong believer that children really don't need to be overscheduled and I also am aware that I have a tendency to overschedule all of us. Right now Jacob has started karate lessons and really loves it. Karate is also great at teaching self-confidence and self-control. I like that it is an individual sport so he isn't competing against anyone but himself to get better.

This school year is really flying by. The kids have learned a lot and are doing great in all of their activities. We recently went to see the holiday trains. I was a little saddened to realize that Jacob is beginning to outgrow them but we still had fun. At the same time, I am excited to take him to the Milwaukee Public Museum over winter break. He will be old enough to really enjoy it and learn something.

So hopefully I can get some pictures uploaded soon.

Favorite Fall Pictures

2011-11-24T11:01:00.003-06:00

Here are some of my favorite pictures from this fall.

Reason To Be Thankful

2011-11-24T10:34:00.002-06:00

Here is this year's list of reasons Heather's Growing Family is thankful.

1) Everyone is a "forever" member of the family. We all have the same last name now and are all permanent members of the family. No one is a "foster", "pre-adoptive" of temporary family member. We are just a family.

2) Jacob and Matthew are getting excellent educations and doing well. This is a huge relief for me. There is nothing more important to a child's chances at success and realizing their dreams than a good education.

3) Everyone is healthy. Thankfully, we live in a country with great medical care and we are fortunate to be able to access it.

4) We have enough food to fill our stomachs every day. Not everyone in this country or other countries has that. We are fortunate to be able to eat as much as we want every day and we are thankful for it.

5) For friends and family. Being a parent is tough at times. Being a single parent is tough at times. Family and friends make the bad days possible and the good days more enjoyable.

6) A job I love. Even my children will tell you I am much happier and less stressed now. I spent almost 10 years at a job that I really disliked for 7 years. Thankfully, I now have a job I really enjoy with great co-workers and supervisors. I no longer dread going to work or count the hours until I go home. I enjoy my job and find it much easier to balance work and family needs with a job I enjoy going to.

7) Our pets. Yes, they are expensive and get in trouble but we love them any way. After all, who better to snuggle with on a cold or sad day than an animal. Who better to lift our spirits than watching dogs run and wrestle or our crazy cat climb the ladder on the bunk beds.

8) Clean drinking water. I don't think I ever really appreciated this until I saw people living in areas where clean water was not accessible. Not just for drinking but also for bathing.

9) Education. We live in a country where advanced degrees and college educations are open to almost every one. Sure, it may cost too much and require loans and working part or full-time, but it is possible.

10) The opportunity to show my children every day that democracy works. They protested with me last winter, see the people collecting recall signatures and go to the polls when I vote. We have had many conversations about why people are unhappy and what they are doing to try to force change. Whether the recall is effective or not, the politicians have started listening and some of the outrageous bills have now been defeated. My children have seen that peaceful protests do work and that every one of us can and should stand up and make a difference in our communities.

End of Fall Update

2011-11-20T10:03:00.002-06:00

The leaves have fallen off the trees and we are wearing winter coats. I have purchased new snow gear for the kids and we are just waiting for those first snow flakes to fall. We actually had a dusting about a week ago but it wasn't really enough to play in and only lasted a few hours. While I'm not in a hurry for winter, it will be fun to take the kids sledding and build some snowmen.

So it appears the end of fall is here. We had a great Fall. As my previous posts discusses, school is off to a great start. The kids are enjoying it and having lots of fun and success.

Jacob's school has an active PTO and the kids have a lot of opportunities. I went with his class on a field trip earlier this year to a playtime farm and pumpkin patch. I led a group of 3 kids through the farm and we all learned a lot about being a farmer. The next week Jacob's class went to a play downtown that was a lot of fun and a nice break. We actually saw it the day before as a family but it was entertaining enough to be fun twice.

Jacob attended his first dance last week. It was the fall family costume dance and he enjoyed wearing his costume for school. The kids all had a great time running around the gym and playing games of chase and tag. It's an elementary school so there was very little actual dancing going on and the kids had a great time. I even got on the dance floor and danced a little with Jacob at the end.

Matthew's school has not been as active and unfortunately he has missed the field trips with day care because he goes to 4K for 3 hours every morning. I have tried to make up for some of it by taking him myself for some one-on-one time but I know it's not the same. It's actually becoming a little bit of a problem because he is feeling left out and frustrated. I have been trying to spend extra time with just him and am going to a family dinner at his school Monday night. It's only the second fun activity the school has done and the first one we could join. I'm hoping he enjoys it and it helps him feel a little less liftout.

Jacob finished flag football and had a great time. He really enjoyed it. He has also gone to a couple of UW-Women's basketball games with my dad which he really enjoys. My dad and Jacob are both enjoying him being old enough to do a few more things togther that they both enjoy.

Both kids are loving swimming lessons. They are both making progress and having fun. It is one after school program that they have to participate in. I want them to both be strong swimmers so they can have fun with their friends when they get older and be safe.

Life with two boys is busy but also full of blessings and fun. The good times definitelly out number the challenging ones and everyone continues to do well. I can't ask for more during this month of thanksgiving.

1st Quarter Completed

2011-11-20T09:52:00.002-06:00

Jacob and Matthew have completed their 1st quarter of their public school careers. I attended parent teacher conferences and was very impressed with their progress. They are both ahead of most of their peers academically. Jacob has already completed all of his end of the school year goals and Matthew has started the second quarter curriculum at the end of 1st quarter. I am hoping their academic success will continue.

Jacob has started having nightly homework. He brings a simple phonics level book home with beginning sight words that he is suppose to read three times. I know how important reading is to his future academic success so I actually make him read his assigned book and then also read a book of his choice from our home library. I am happy that he is in the top reading group for his class but that doesn't mean he gets to relax now. I want to make sure he is continuing to practice and progress and doesn't begin to slide.

Math is an area that I haven't really started to emphasize too much. As he gets older I may force him to practice it more but right now it doesn't seem to be necessary. His teacher stated math comes very easy to him and every time they introduce a new concept or ask him to do something a little harder, he easily accomplishes it. Last week he started bringing home basic addition worksheets. I will probably have him do extra math problems if he ever starts to have trouble but right now he is accomplishing math skills for the end of kindergarten or the beginning of first grade so I don't want to push him too hard at home.

Matthew also is finding school is very easy. I was told last week that he is getting to his day care in time for their 4K curriculum. That means he is getting the school district curriculum as well as the day care's which is a little more advanced. I am hopeful that it will give him a little bit of a head start for kindergarten next year. He is really excited about learning to read so I am hopeful he can continue to love reading and learning.

So far their school careers are off to a great start just as I am preparing to end mine. I have most of my work done for this semester which means I just have 2 classes, a research project and an internship to go before I graduate in August. It will feel so great to have this degree and work behind me. Now I just have to complete my licensure exams and I will be all set. I plan to send in the paperwork for those tests next week and hope to take the exam in December.

Special Weekend

2011-10-16T10:11:00.002-05:00

This weekend is a weekend full of fun and excitement. Jacob started us off with getting his football pictures taken and then playing a fun game of flag football yesterday morning. After that we all went to Kids In The Rotunda for a fun concert. Kids In The Rotunda is a fun series of shows aimed at preschool and elementary school aged children. The kids really enjoy the shows and Matthew has really learned to love singing and dancing. He is going to be my little musician as he gets older.

As if that wasn't enough for one day, yesterday was the only day I had free this month to take Matthew to the pumpkin farm. I went with Jacob's kindergarten class last week but Matthew's class hasn't scheduled a trip so I wanted to make sure he got a chance to go. Jacob stayed with our friends for the afternoon and Matthew and I had some alone time at the farm. It was a great afternoon and a great chance to spend time without any distractions. Matthew picked out a very bumpy pumpkin for us and an almost perfectly round pumpkin for our friends.

Today we are running again. As I am sure you can imagine, the kids were pretty tired last night. They fell asleep within 5 minutes of hitting their pillows and slept in until almost 8 this morning.

This morning we are headed to church where it is new member Sunday. We are sponsering our friends, Cindy and Aidan, as new members. Jacob and Matthew can't wait to take Aidan's hand and stand in front of the church with him. I am looking forward to it also.

This afternoon my parents bought us tickets to see a play "ImaginOcean." I am hoping the kids really enjoy it. Then we are headed home to work on laundry and cleaning before Jacob has his interview with Big Brothers Big Sisters tomorrow.

It's another full and fun weekend. Sometimes I would like to have a weekend to just hang out and relax but then I thing about all the fun things we would miss. I guess I'll just pack up the car, take a deep breath and go have some more family fun. Life is good.

Jacob Is 6!

2011-10-09T10:06:00.002-05:00

It is really hard to believe that next month will mark 5 years since I sat in my family doctor's office discussing Jacob's referral. The doctor gave me several reasons of why I should be cautious about accepting his referral. He spoke at length about Sturge Weber Disease and the small chance Jacob could have it. I knew in my heart he didn't and thankfully I was right. The doctor ended our meeting by handing me the information and stating, "I can tell that you already love this little boy and will be adopting him. I will be happy to help you care for him when he comes home." The doctor was right and over 4 and a half years ago I brought home an adorable and loving 17 month old boy.

That little boy just turned 6 on September 21. He has become a very funny little boy who loves life. He definetelly doesn't have Sturge Weber and none of the doctor's warnings have come true. I took him in to see that doctor last week for his 6 year old well-child check-up. The doctor examined him and talked to him for a few minutes. He then turned to me and stated Jacob has really settled down and is really mature for his age. I stated that I thought it was the age because Matthew is also beginning to settle down. He stated it isn't just the age. He stated it's not often he sees a child make the huge gains in maturity that Jacob has made over the past year. Way to go Jacob!

We celebrated Jacob's 6th birthday by going to a waterpark resort in the Dells last month. It was a lot of fun for the entire family. We met some friends up there and had a great weekend. It was fun watching how far all of the children have come in a very short period of time.

So stealing this idea from another blog I used to read. Here are 6 things I love about Jacob.

1) Jacob's smile. It's contagious and lights up his whole face.
2) His loving and caring personality. There isn't anything he won't do to please someone else (including his mommy).
3) How well he's doing in school this year. He's still ahead of many of his classmates and continues to learn new skills very quickly.
4) Watching him play sports. He is a good teammate and loves to interact with the guys.
5) The joy I see when I watch him work on a project with his Grandpa. There is no one he idolizes more. Whether it's cleaning out the truck, picking up sticks in the yard or walking through the store looking at tools, Jacob loves to spend time with his Grandpa.
6) Eating breakfast together. Matthew's school starts an hour before Jacob's and Matthew eats breakfast with his class so Jacob and I eat alone in the morning. It is a great time to talk about his school day and what he is looking forward to that day. We also spend that hour putting his lunch and backpack together.

Jacob is growing up quickly. Some days I worry he is growing up too quickly. He is becoming a big kid in front of my eyes. He will have his intake interview with Big Brothers Big Sisters next week. He wants a Big Brother or a Couple Match. He will make a great "little" for someone. His easygoing spirit and bright smile will be a great match for some prospective Big.

Fall Fun

2011-10-09T09:52:00.003-05:00

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted. I got very angry with my cable company (even the person who works there agreed with me about how horrible they are) and cancelled my internet service. Now, there are other companies I could go to for internet but I decided it was thirty dollars a month I could save by cancelling it. In the meantime, I am using the free internet at McDonald's and at work. I can only post on here when I am at McDonald's which means I have to find time around my school assignments and other internet needs. It is working out so far although it is inconvient so I may have to eventually find a new internet provider or go back to the cable company and order it again (Yikes!).

So what has been going on in the past month? A lot and not so much. We have been busy but yet there hasn't been anything really major or exciting (except that Jacob turned 6 year old). Here is a run down of our family's achievements the past month.

- Jacob started kindergarten and continues to love it. He is very proud of himself for learning how to read. It was wonderful to see the excitement on his face when he proudly exclaimed that he was able to read an entire sentence without the teacher's help. Yesterday he was breezing through his Kumon worksheets on writing and reading letters and stated it was too easy. It wasn't too easy when I bought it for him last Spring.

- Matthew has been enjoying 4K. He says his favorite activity is coloring which his teacher confirmed at a conference last week. He is very creative. For example, he took a piece of paper, colored a box and circles and said it was a boat. He then scooted it around the classroom for awhile before suddenly grabbing the glue stick and more paper. He made several more papers with boxes and circles, glued them together and proudly announced he had made a train. He has been working on the train for a couple of days now.

-Matthew and Jacob have both found a real interest in Legos. They are having fun creating their own boats, helicopters and other vehicles. Matthew can spend an hour playing with Legos if we don't have anything else going on.

-Jacob started his first year of flag football. He loves it. It's really the perfect game for him. He loves to chase other kids and be chased so football turned out to be the perfect sport for that. It's his first year and you can tell but he is getting better at it every weekend. Mostly, he is just having fun.

- Swimming lessons are back in full swing. The kids are both doing really well this session. Matthew is listening better and not splashing the other kids unless they want to be splashed. Jacob is able to swim the length of the pool with rotary breathing and can tread water for about 10 minutes. It helps to learn to tread when you can't touch the bottom of the pool and don't want to hang on to your mom all the time.

- I have started my last year of grad school. It was a really rough start with emergencies at work and with babysitter's but it has been better the past few weeks. I am almost halfway through the semester which is a great feeling. Now, I'm just worried about finding an internship for this spring. I have 2 places that I am sure I can do it at but I'm waiting to hear if the university will approve either of them. I have to be much pickier about where I work this time since I have to work full-time and can't take a lot of vacation each week like I did last time. I am sure I will be able to work something out though.

So that is a quick update. I'll post about Jacob's birthday next.

How Much Is Too Much

2011-09-03T08:14:00.004-05:00

So I have been mentally preparing myself for the start of public school for a couple of years. Okay. The truth is I have been looking forward to this for a long time. I love watching my children learn and try new activities. I love that our elementary school is much more diverse than our middle class expensive day care center. Jacob is now making friends with children from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, cultural backgrounds and family types. He isn't the only kid in his school who has a single mom, he isn't the only child adopted from Ethiopia and he is one of many children who have siblings who have different skin colors. I loved watching the families walk into school yesterday and seeing how many really looked a lot like ours. I knew there would be a few but there were so many ours didn't even stand out. No one batted an eye when my dark blond son and Ethiopian son both called me mom. It was normal there.

So Jacob is off and running. He starts flag football next weekend. He is in youth swim lessons instead of preschool swimming. He has already completed and brought home his first assignment. (He drew a picture of himself and wrote his name. The original is hanging in the classroom but the teacher photcopied them so the parents could see what the kids did their first week). I am now finding that all of those years of preparation are paying off.

So now the question is what type of a mom will I be. The media loves to give moms names such as helicopter moms and tiger moms. So what kind of mom will I be? I'm not sure the name I would give myself. Maybe some of my readers can help me with it. Here is a brief description.

-School is important. My children will be expected to complete all of their work, correct any mistakes and learn as much as they possibly can. Bs will be acceptable but will require addtional work to try to improve them. A's are the goal and A- the lowest possible without extra work with Mom. Extra work may just be having Mom check work over before turning it in or it may be extra math problems and reading time at night.

-Extra work will be completed after home work or on weekends on any subject area with a B- or lower. In elementary school with the number ratings it will be anything below 3 on a scale of 1-4. 3s or 4s just mean a pat on the back and no extra work beyond teacher assigned work. 4s will be rewarded with praise and if there are mostly 4s with a special reward at the end of the semester such as choosing any place to eat dinner or getting to choose a fun activity for the family.

-Missed school days because of illness or emergencies will result in Mom picking up work from the teacher and bringing it home to complete. The work can wait until the child is healthy enough to get out of bed and begin playing but it will be completed before returning to school. Every parent knows when there child begins to act "normal" and show signs of being well again. That is the point where the homework will come out if it wasn't done earlier.

- Frequent communication with teachers. No, I'm not the mom who emails the teacher several times a week to make sure everything is going well. It's not that I don't want to but I realize I need to let my child learn to swim or sink for himself. If the child is bringing home good grades and the work is completed, there may be very little to talk about and it can wait until conferences. If the child is struggling, then frequent emails will be exchanged until the child is no longer struggling. It doesn't have to be daily but it will be as often as necessary to make sure everyone is succeeding. As well as offering to come in and help out when the class has field trips or for special occassions such as Ethiopian holidays.

- I believe teachers should be able to teach the way they want to at the rate they want. As a parent, it is my job to provide extra support if I feel my child isn't learning as much as they should or is struggling in any area. Especially if he has a teacher that may not be pushing as much as other teachers in the area. The teacher won't be hearing me complain that the kids aren't reading enough or learning enough, I will just quietly supplement it at home.

- I won't be hiring tutors to make sure my child is valedictorian. I won't be scheduling "cultural" lessons three or four nights a week to try to make him more well-rounded. He will be allowed to just be a kid, relax and play every day. They are only allowed to be in one sport other than swimming lessons during the week.

So that is current philosophy on parenting. Now I am sure the more experienced parents out there are laughing at me. Who wouldn't? I laugh at new moms too. My expectations and philosophy will change as I learn, my kids learn and life goes on. After all, isn't it just plain life that often gets in the way of our ideals and plans? Hey, life happens. My kids and I will continue to roll with the punches and adjust as needed to meet our lifestyles and needs.

So what kind of label would you give this mom?

Kindergarten Success!

2011-09-03T07:45:00.002-05:00

Jacob is a kindergarten success story. He loves it there. I was a few minutes early picking him up yesterday and saw him go to his locker to get his backpack. He was full of smiles and excitement. He has even figured out the trick to getting his locker to open when it sticks!

I decided to walk Jacob home from school yesterday. I remember hating walking home from school but I also realize how much I learned on those walks. It was a chance to just relax and have fun while looking at the sky, grass, insects and world around me. I wanted Jacob to have that same experience. He normally rides the bus to day care but I took yesterday off work so he came home instead.

The walk home as well as much of the past 2 days has been full of stories about the wonderful things he has done and kids he has met. He states they are all his best friends and there aren't any he plays with more than others. I am sure that will change as the year goes on but for now it's great that he likes everyone.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what our evening routine will look like. Jacob's not thrilled that I am instituting a new "routine" at home but I have noticed that those kids who do best in school are often the ones with a pretty structured home life. So here is a look at what I hope our new routine will be.

5:30 Arrive home. Mom cooks dinner while the kids play or watch TV.

6:30 (or whenever dinner is finished and the table cleared off). Look through Jacob's backpack with him. Discuss homework assignments. Find something positive about each piece of work before discussing what he could have done differently.

6:35 Work on any homework or assignments that weren't completed at school or day care. Check over assignments for the next day.

After homework is completed or additional work completed the following list is completed in order:

- Get backpack ready for the next day. Pack lunch box and place in fridge if not eating hot lunch.

- Play or watch TV. Must be inside the house by 7:30 if playing outside with neighbor's kid.

- 7:45 pm Bath time while I get Matthew ready for bed, read books to him and have -one-on-one time.

- 8:15 pm Read stories and have a few minutes of one-on-one time.

- 8:30 Tucked into bed. Light on with a few books to look at

- 8:45 Lights out and books put away.

That is Jacob's new routine. I am sure it will be adjusted slightly as the year goes on. The bedtime seems a little late but really it's earlier than he went to bed last year (by about half an hour). Since he rarely takes naps at home or day care anymore, I don't think he will require extra sleep. He gets up about 6:45 so he gets a full night's sleep. Matthew goes to bed a little earlier because he seems to need the extra sleep. He also gets up closer to 6:15 or 6:30.

I hope this routine works and the kids both strive from it. Matthew will have a similar routine when 4K starts next week except he doesn't really have any homework or even academic work to look over. He will do a little more structured learning later in the year and I will spend time looking at his work from school also but he won't have the same academic expectations until next year. For him, we will look over his papers together, discuss what he did really well, review anything he might have been working on and then just go play until 7:15 when his bath and bedtime routine begin.

There are also some nights where our routine just won't work. Tuesday nights Matthew has swimming lessons from 6:30 until 7:00 and Jacob has lessons from 7 until 7:45. We will get home around 8:15 and both kids will have to get ready for bed, read stories as a family and then go to bed at the same time. Thursday nights I have class so I will have to pull out any homework for Jacob before he goes to his babysitter's house, read any notes or newsletters on my break at school and then go over his worksheets Friday night. The babysitter will get him ready for bed and he will have to sleep in the car on the way home. I am hoping he won't be too tired on Friday mornings but it is the best I can do for this year. At least I only have class one day a week so it is only one late night a week.

The Start of Something Big

2011-09-01T20:20:00.004-05:00

Today was the start of something big. Big kid school has begun. My little baby I first met 4 years ago in Ethiopia is now in kindergarten.

It was a little bit of shock to see how small he looked next to all the 3rd, 4th and 5th graders. He has been one of the big kids in his preschool program for the past year. Now he is one of the little kids again. And he did look little. It was a little hard for me to walk away with him surrounded by so many big kids outside a very big school. Even if the teachers were right there.

I worried about him all day. I knew in my mind he would be fine but my heart ached. Was he having fun? Was he making friends? Was his teacher as nice as she seemed? Would he be okay on the bus? Would they remember to help him get on the right bus?

In the end he did great. He loves that they have recess 3 times (including lunch). His teacher made him eat his vegetables at lunch which he didn't like but I love. He played games and made a lot of new friends. He saw some old friends who are in different classes when he was at recess and lunch. He loved riding the bus and proudly told me he is the 3rd stop. He complained when I picked him up from the school age day care classroom because he wanted more time to play with his friends. Many of them were the same kids he was in 4K with last year. They all went to different elementary schools but get to see each other after school.

Jacob had a great first day. I missed him and will continue to miss the baby he used to be. Yet I continue to be amazed at the young man he is becoming. He was exhausted after not sleeping well last night (he kept waking up asking if it was time to eat breakfast yet) and a full day of fun. I caved in and let him watch a movie on my computer tonight. Matthew was feeling left out of all the kindergarten excitement so he got to watch too. His new school year starts next week. He will be part of the 1st 4K class in our district.

Registration, conference and school supplies done!

2011-08-21T09:40:00.003-05:00

There is nothing more to do but wait now. Jacob is registered for school, his supplies are packed and we have been practicing getting to school early for the past week. Matthew will be registered this week and we meet with his teacher Wednesday night.

Registration: Jacob will be in kindergarten and Matthew will be in 4K this year. The way the district set up the 4K system this year (it will probably change again next year) is that 4K students from our attendance area are bussed to an elementary school about 1 mile from our home. Not too bad but it means the kids will be attending different schools with different start times. Matthew starts class at 7:40 and Jacob begins at 8:30 so we have 50 minutes to drive 1 mile. Enough time to come back home for a quick breakfast or cartoon (or maybe some extra reading if this mom has her way).

Ready Set Go conferences: I absolutely love these. All elementary students and their parents have an individual conference at the beginning of the year to discuss the students. It is a chance to talk about our family and how we handle issues such as making gifts for father's day. It is also a chance to talk about how we celebrate adoption and Ethiopian culture and find ways to bring some of that culture into Jacob's classroom.

The teachers also write short individual learning plans for the children. The learning plans address academic goals and social/emotional goals. Jacob's teacher was really impressed with how much he already can do. There was another teacher who works with children in small groups who need extra help. She stated it was clear Jacob would definitely not be one of those kids. His goals for the year are to be reading words by the end of 1st semester (he can already read and spell some) and reading books by the end of the year. My guess is he will be reading books long before the end of the year. He's already getting really close. His social goal is just to work on building his confidence which he lacks when it comes to learning new skills. Something he is getting better at but still could use some improvement.

Matthew has his ready set go conference next week. I already spoke to his teacher on the phone about some more sensitive issues but am looking forward to talking to her face to face this week with Matthew. I think it's important Matthew see that I am working with his teacher and we will have the same expectations. My goals for him is to be able to recognize all of his letters by the end of the 1st semester and be able to write them and know their sounds by the end of the year. For social/emotional it will just be that he contiune to work on social skills and following directions. Standard 4 year old preschool goals. I would also like to get rid of some of these tantrums he has had in recent days. I'm not sure where they are coming from but this is definitely a phase that I hope is short lived.

Last night Jacob and I packed up his backpack and school supplies. He needs 1 more notebook because I accidentally got one college lined. I can use that one (my school supplies are also here and ready to go) and I will one more for him this week. Matthew's supplies are also ready to go but he was really tired last night and fell asleep before we could pack them up. Jacob and I will drop off his supplies Thursday morning and Matthew will take his with him on Wednesday when we have his conference.

Then all we have to do is wait. And continue to practice getting up early and reading together. Jacob starts school Sept. 1 and Matthew begins Sept. 6. I start my last year of graduate school (woo hoo!!!) Sept 8. I really like Jacob and Matthew's teachers and believe this will be a great year for both of them. No more bad day cares (they will stay at the center they are at now for after school care) and no more worrying about if their daycares are giving them what they need to be successful. There school careers are starting and mine will be ending in just 12 months.

Culture Camp 2011

2011-08-05T20:40:00.002-05:00

Jacob, Matthew and I attended culture camp for the first time this year. The camp, Ethiopian American Culture camp, was held in Williams Bay, Wisconsin. There were about 300 attendees and everyone had a great time.

We were originally going to camp but after arriving decided it wasn't the best set up for our family. The area the families were setting up tents were right on the edge of the area where the kids were playing and the music and dancing would be until 10:30 at night. I felt our family needed more privacy and a place to go if anyone got overwhelmed. Matthew had a little trouble Saturday so it was actually a good move.

We were lucky to be able to move into 1 of 2 cabins where people had cancelled their reservations. The cabins had 4 bunk beds (8 beds), a table with chairs, a ceiling fan, lights and electricity. Much nicer than the tent near the campfire.

The camp was a lot of fun. Jacob and Matthew learned how to write their names in Amharic as well as some new facts about Ethiopia and Africa. They met people who grew up in Ethiopia and even a couple that stil live there now and were just here visiting. There were Ethiopian American families and teenagers and there were many families that looked similar to ours. Matthew's favorite part of the camp was learning how to do traditional Ethiopian dancing. It was fun watching him dancing and even more fun watching him really enjoy spending time with an Ethiopian grandmother.

Jacob and Matthew both came home with lots of fun stories and even more importantly a new sense of pride. Jacob was proud of his Ethiopian heritage and culture and Matthew was proud to have an Ethiopian born brother. They are already looking foward to next year's camp and I am hopeful we will be able to attend again.

Camping

2011-07-24T20:42:00.002-05:00

I have not been camping in about 4 years. I thought about going last year but couldn't find a weekend to go. I was also very nervous about taking the children by myself. Jacob went camping with me and some of my friends when he was 1 but Matthew has never gone. This year I have weekends off work so I really didn't have an excuse not to go.

The kids and I had a great time. Matthew was a little overexcited the first night which led to only about 6 hours of sleep and a very overly tired kid today. The good news is that tired and bad days for Matthew are nothing like they were even just 6 months ago so things went pretty well.

Matthew and Jacob slept really well in the tent last night and even Friday night after they calmed down enough to go to sleep. They even slept until almost 8 this morning which is really unheard of in our house. There were two pretty big storms that rolled through last night and Matthew slept through both of them. Jacob woke up a little but quickly went back to sleep after being reassured that everything was okay. I got a little nervous at one point and considered moving us to the shelter but I checked the radar on my blackberry and saw the storm was almost past.

The best part of the weekend was really just having fun with some amazing people from church. There were 8 kids there ranging from 6 months to almost 6 years old. The kids played together very well and Jacob was a great help with the younger children. Matthew is really good with babies and prides himself in always being gentle with them. He was gentle with the younger kids this weekend as well. All of the kids (except the baby) enjoyed swimming in the lake and jumping off the pier.

I enjoyed a weekend outside without TV. We don't watch much TV but we also don't just stop and enjoy nature very often either. It was amazing watching the kids explore nature. Matthew wouldn't go to sleep last night until he got a chance to say good night to the daddy longlegs spiders by the bathroom. He said they were his new friends. Jacob loved the huge and beautiful spider webs that can only be found in the woods. The kids also found a very large and wooly caterpillar which Matthew really wanted to keep. With a very sad face, he returned the caterpillar to a nearby tree after we talked about how the caterpillar would die if he kept it and it probably really missed it's family.

Now that the fun part of camping is done the not so fun part begins. The very tired kids are in bed early tonight. The van is mostly unpacked except a few odds and ends. The clothes are being washed and the tarp is drying. The tent finished drying out this afternoon and is now resting in the garage. I will set it up and clean it out later this week so it is ready to go next weekend.

Yes, I said next weekend. This weekend was camping with friends from church. Next weekend is Ethiopian American culture camp where I hope we meet new friends and have a great time. This weekend we cooked over an open campfire. Next weekend the food will be prepared for us, our days very busy and the tent really only used for sleeping. It will be a great time even if it isn't very relaxing. Hopefully, we will be able to go camping one or two more times this year. I would love to take the kids some weekend this fall when it is a little cooler but still a lot of fun.

Fall Plans In Place

2011-07-10T07:11:00.003-05:00

Everyone in my home will be attending public school this fall. This was a decision that I have had a lot of trouble making.

I'll start with me. I will be completing my last year (3 semesters) of grad school. It will feel so great to finally be finished. I really questioned whether I wanted to return after the Spring semester. It was a really difficult semester. I had a new job, was pregnant for part of it before losing the baby in a miscarriage and completed Matt's adoption. It was really just too much. I think I would have struggled without school but the demands of school were just too much. Then things settled down the last few weeks and I was able to pass all of my classes and actually did better than I thought I would.

Next year will still be difficult. I am worried about completing my internship in the spring and summer. I will have to work 16 hours a week at my internship as well as my normal 40 hours a week at my job. My employer has said they will help me as much as they can. I can do some work at home for both the internship and regular job which will help. I can also work the internship through spring break and break between semesters which will also help decrease the hours a little. A lot of how easy it will be to get all of the work done will depend on my caseload at work. Since I can't control my caseload, I'll just know that I have to work hard and it is only for a few months.

Jacob will be starting kindergarten in the fall. Another decision that was a little difficult but probably the easiest one of all. Jacob will be attending public school for several reasons. I like our school system and know he will get a good education there. I have spent quite a bit of time in the schools and know the teachers really care and Jacob will do well there. He will also have more diversity than he would get in public school or the neighboring school districts. His elementary school has a mission statement that includes celebrating the cultural history of all of it's students.

Matthew will be attending 4K in the public schools this fall. This was a little more difficult decision. I knew I wanted him to attend 4K but it was hard to decide where he should attend. The district has several sites parents can choose from. Originally he was going to attend at the Y so he would have cheaper wrap around care but I was concerned about him changing day cares. He has been at our current center for just over a year. It's the longest he has ever attended one daycare and he has been thriving there. He has some trouble with transitions so I was concerned about how changing daycares again would affect him.

I considered leaving Matthew at the daycare he is at now for 4K but it is very expensive. It would have cost about $240 a week to attend there. I could save a lot of money if I had him go to the Y and had Jacob attend daycare either at the school or at the Y. This would have meant having kids at 2 different centers that needed to be picked up every night which is not something I was looking forward to but I wasn't sure I wanted to spend the extra money.

I mentioned to the daycare that we were leaving in the fall because it was too expensive to stay there. I needed to save the extra money especially since I no longer receive a subsidy for Matthew (it ended after his adoption). The director spoke to me and we began discussing discounts if both children attend and if Matthew attends 4K off site in the morning. I called the school district last week and they stated they would provide transportation for him to and from 4K at a nearby elementary school for free. The director stated this would be fine and he will be charging me a lot less every week.

It is now affordable to have the kids attend public school for 4K and 5K and daycare at the same place they have been going. I will be saving about $800 a month in daycare costs. The kids will have the security of attending the same daycare when they aren't in school. Matthew will be able to attend "big kid" school 3 hours a day and will be a nice way to transition to full-day school next year.

So after months of struggling with trying to decide where everyone should go to school, the decisions are finally made. Everyone has spots reserved in the desired programs and registration has begun. Now, I just need to swallow hard and begin looking for sales on school supplies.

Another Weekend of Swimming

2011-07-10T06:53:00.002-05:00

This weekend is another weekend of swimming. We have gone swimming almost every weekend so far this summer. Last weekend was Devil's Lake and this weekend was Gov. Nelson State Park. Gov. Nelson isn't nearly as nice as Devil's Lake but it's still a beautiful park where the kids can swim and get full of sand. I love it because they are cheap day trips that are still a lot of fun.

Along with the state parks, we have also been taking advantage of our Y membership. We are in the swimming pool there almost every weekend. Again another free activity since we have a Y membership.

I am very excited this year that I am going to finally be able to do almost everything on my summer wish list. Sure there are a lot of things I should do and haven't like cleaning out my house and the kids toys but I am slowly working on those things. Mostly I am just enjoying having a summer with every weekend off work.

This is the first year I have had a job that was strictly Monday through Friday. For the past ten years I worked 3 out of 4 weekends a month. Now, I get to enjoy all of those weekend activities I have wanted to do for a long time. Our summer has been full of fun activities like a Clinic At A Time fundraiser, swimming and short hikes, walks around the block, swimming outside, t-ball, soccer, birthday parties and inside and visiting sprinkler parks. There are still more things I am looking forward to such as our first family church camp and our first Ethiopian American culture camp.

I am also really enjoying having a set schedule with days off that I can plan on every week. No more telling my children we can't go to a birthday party or other event because I am working. No more telling Jacob he can't play a sport because Mom has to work. We now have a set routine and busy and full weekends.

Changing careers was a great move that has been wonderful for my family. While I lost some flexibility in my evenings, I gained flexiblity during the weekends and even during the week. I can now flex my hours to be able to go to appointments instead of using time from my leave balances. I can enjoy my children every weekend instead of paying someone else to spend that time with them. It has been a great summer in part because I have a new job.

Blessed To Be American

2011-07-04T06:21:00.002-05:00

People have been lining up to try to come to America since 1776. During the past 235 years America has changed and I believe mostly for the best. Change is a slow process and America continues to evolve and work to find ways to make life better for all of us. People continue to line up at our embassies around the world hoping and praying for a chance to "win the lottery" and be able to come here. Refugees come here somewhat unwillingly to begin to make a new life for their families. We are becoming more diverse every year and there are some experts who believe people of white European decent will no longer be in the majority in the future. Some people have concerns about our increasing diversity but I see it as an asset. By learning about all of the different culutures in this country, we are able to become a better and more diverse America. We are able to learn from each other, enjoy new and different foods, music and lifestyles and learn how to be more accepting and tolerant as a result.

Here are some of the other wonderful blessings we have and should be thankful for.

1) Plenty of food. Yes there are people who are hungry in this country. I have worked with many food insecure families in the past few months but the truth is food is available for most of us. Those who are food insecure are able to visit food pantries and free community meals as well as receive food from the governmen. We have private and government programs to help people who don't have a way to find food. Not all countries have these programs.

2) Free education. My children will go to school for free. I don't have to worry about finding a school uniform so my children can attend. I don't have to worry about paying high private school tuitions if I don't want to. I get the luxury of spending way too much time worrying about which public or private school to send my children to not if they will be able to attend.

3) A great higher education system. I realize some people have trouble paying for college and it's very important that higher education remain affordable for Americans. Yet we also have a college system that allows most people to attend even if it means borrowing money. I recently spoke to a young woman who had the grades but not the test scores to attend college. She was able to enroll in a public university where she is taking college courses this summer as a "bridge program" to help her prepare for college in the fall. As long as she passes the classes they have asked her to take this summer she will be able to attend college in the fall. There are grant and loan programs to help people pay for college. There are many different colleges to choose from and people can pursue any degree their talent and interst is in.

4) Health care. No matter where you stand on the public health care issue, we are all blessed to live in a country where health care is easy to obtain. Anyone can show up in an emergency room and receive care. For those of us lucky enough to have health insurance or wealthy enough to pay for it, we have great health care availble. Vaccines are routinely given out and it is rare to find a child who has not been immunized. We have enough doctors and clinics to care for all of our sick and injured.

5) Clean water.

6) Paved highways and roads.

7) Electricity

8) The ability to pursue our dreams, decide we no longer have the same dreams, return to school or move and pursue new dreams.

9) Travel freely throughout the country to visit family and friends without stopping at government check points or having to explain where we are going and why.

10) State and national parks that we can enjoy for cheap or free.

There are many more blessings than just the ones I have listed here. Everyone has there favorite activities. Just remember none of these things came to us for free. Our soldiers lost their lives. Our citizens worked hard in the private and public sector. Our children have studied hard. Yes, we have a ways to go. We have a lot to work on. But we have a good start. Together we will contine to evolve and grow as individual communities and a country.

Politics in Wisconsin has shown us all how far we have to go. My hope is that the ugly policies of the recent months will soon be a thing of the past but until then it's important to remember that even with our current administration we are very blessed to live here. We need to continue to stand united and all work together to continue to make this country great for all of her people.

1/3 finished

2011-06-28T07:01:00.002-05:00

Can you believe summer is almost 1/3 over? I can't. Once again summer is going way too fast but it has been one of our best summers so far. I love hot weather and we have had some hot days and some not so great days but even with that this past month has been great. Yes I know I did some whining on my last post but life always has ups and downs and right now I'm focusing on the ups.

A big part of why this summer has been so much fun is that the boys have really grown up a lot since last year. Matthew has really grown and matured including in his social skills. Remember he is only 4 so social skills are something all children his age are still trying to master. Last night at softball I was playing catcher and taking occassional peaks at my kids between plays. I realized how nice it was that I didn't have to hire a babysitter this year. I could trust the kids to play nicely with the other children from our church and not worry that they would be hurting them or running off. Of course, I still kept a close eye on them but I knew the other adults could handle anything big and I didn't need someone assigned just to them.

We are also enjoying swimming more this year. Matthew started swimming lessons last fall and has progressed to a point that he is okay in water up to his chest without me worrying that he will fall and not be able to stand up. He can swim 3 to 4 feet without stopping which is far enough if he accidentally goes out to far. Jacob can now swim the length of the pool so I really only have to keep a super close eye on Matthew if he doesn't have a life jacket on. We checked out the city outdoor pool on Sunday and loved it.

This is also the first year that I have a set schedule with every weekend off. I can't even begin to describe how nice that is. To be able to choose which free or cheap weekend events we want to attend and not have to worry about trying to get time off work to do things with my kids is nice. My job has kept me very busy this month but that is fine. It makes my wonderful weekends come that much faster.

I also have holidays off now and that is putting a lot less stress on me. I always hated asking my family to watch my kids on holidays. I also hated missing the holidays with my kids. Now I get holidays off and can do fun things with the kids. Like watch the Memorial Day parade and watch the fireworks next Monday. Even when I do want an extra day off work for something it is much easier to get it off now. I flexed my hours last week so I could take yesterday morning off to take the kids to the dairy farm on their day care field trip. I plan on taking half a day off when we go to church family camp and Ethiopian American Culture Camp later in July.

There is still 2 months of summer left before Jacob starts kindergarten and the weather begins to cool down. 2 months of summer fun. I plan to enjoy as much of it as I can.

More Ups and Downs

2011-06-25T08:22:00.002-05:00

Life around here has been full of ups and downs the past few weeks. It's also kept me way to busy to blog on here even though I really wanted to.

So here's a quick wrap up of some of the more major events.

Matthew changed class rooms at day care. He is now back with the kids he was getting in trouble with last fall. As I suspected, he has had a few moments where he has been in trouble for being too silly and loud. He really feeds off the other boys in the room who are also always in trouble for being too silly and loud.

Matthew had a little regression in behavior at home as well as he transitioned away from his favorite teacher. He had Ms. Callie longer than any other teacher by about 9 months. He really loved her and it was hard for him to only see her a few times a day and not all day. He has come out of it pretty well though and the transition was much smoother and faster than previous transitions. It is great to see him maturing and feeling safer faster in new settings.

Jacob graduated 4K and is ready for kindergarten. His teacher told me he is ahead of the other children in his room and she has caught him reading a few times. The assistant director also stated she has noticed he is ahead of his peers. I only hope it continues this fall when he starts "real school."

Jacob has enjoyed playing t-ball but after 2 months he is starting to burn out. The season is just a little too long for these young kids. It's 2 games a week for about 10 weeks. I gave in today and told him he could skip it today. He agreed he wants to play in his last 2 games of the season.

I am playing softball and coaching this year. I enjoy it although it is a lot more work coaching than I thought it would be. I am having fun though and might volunteer to coach again next year depending on what is going on in our busy lives.

Work has been going well. I really do like my job. The past 3 weeks have been very busy and I am really hoping it slows down a little so I can get caught up. I like that it's normally busy though and I don't have a lot of down time. I also love working with all of the families and children and helping them to find resources to meet their needs. Of course, the current political climate in Wisconsin makes it very difficult to help people in need but I won't go there today. Just know I am fully on board to try to recall the current governor in about 7 months.

Besides just being way too busy my car needs about $200 in maintenance and my washing machine isn't working. I lost day care funding when I adopted Matthew so money has been tight without these new expenses. Hopefully I can get the washing machine repaired for fairly cheap and as soon as I have some extra time. There is no way around the car issue. I just have to take it in and pay the money. Jacob goes to kindergarten in the fall so his day care bill will be cut in half and money will be easier to find then.

Today we are planning to go pick strawberries at a local farm and then have a picnic lunch at a park. It should be a lot of fun. And of course we will enjoy eating some of the strawberries for lunch.

We have been swimming almost every weekend and will probably go swimming again tomorrow. Our neighbors are having a gathering in the morning that we will probably attend and then hit the pool in the afternoon. The kids are very excited to see the new Cars 2 movie but it will probably have to wait a week. I am trying hard not to be quite as rushed or overscheduled as I was during the school year. It's nice to just have time to sit at home and relax.

A Month Post Adoption

2011-05-28T20:08:00.003-05:00

The first 6 months after a new child moves into a home can be very rough. My experience is the first 6 weeks are often the toughest and can make or break a placement. At least it seems that way in my home. Every parent is different and every placement is different but for me the first few weeks have seemed almost impossible. Then it slowly gets better.

Matt's adoption was no different at placement. He spent the first 3 days at my door crying "bye bye." He was 15 months old. As time passed, his case went through the courts and I worked with the social worker to try to reunite him with his birth mother. Matthew began to settle in and within 6 months he felt more like a forever member of the family. I still worked hard and the social worker worked even harder to reunite him but I began to believe he was here to stay. Matthew began to forget his previous home and would become confused if someone mentioned he had another mother out there. To the world I was his foster mother, to Matthew I was his mommy. There was nothing "foster" or temporary about it. Matthew was beginning to heal from the past trauma he had experienced. He still had some behavioral problems but they were far less severe than the first six months home and the emotional effects were beginning to fade.

When Matthew was almost 3 he told me to stop calling his birth mother "Mommy" because I was Mommy. End of story. Of course there was a lot going on behind the scenes that I will keep confidential out of respect to everyone involved but for Matthew he knew the truth. No matter what the courts or social workers or even I said, he only had one mommy. Yes there was another woman out there who is very special and deserves to be recognized as his birth mother but she was no longer "Mommy." It made me sad for her to hear Matthew say it but I also knew that I needed to recognize where Matthew was at. So I began to refer to her by her first name rather than Mommy so and so. And Matthew continued to heal.

Matthew has continued to grow and heal as he has gone through the foster care journey but he still wanted to have my family's last name and to be adopted. The past six months were really hard for him. He began to understand adoption and ask more questions about why he wasn't adopted. Then the big day came. I got the email that he was free for adoption and I could request a court date. I told Matthew that evening and his whole face lit up. He began telling people he was having "an adoption party."

Just over 4 weeks ago, Matthew and I went to court. In front of our family and previous social workers, the judge asked Matthew if he knew why he was there. Matt smiled and said, "For my adoption party!" The judge laughed and said that he was there for that. He said he had never heard it described that way but yes, it was a party. Matthew sat quietly through court. He seemed a little intimidated but he was taking it all in. When the judge told everyone Matthew's new legal name, Matthew smiled. Jacob and Matthew got new stuffed animals from the judge and the hearing ended. Matthew was now a legal member of the family he had been telling people he belonged to for a long time.

The past 4 weeks have been nothing short of inspirational and inspiring. Matthew had been doing really well. I had no concerns. I wasn't getting phone calls or complaints from day care or sitters. He was just as happy as ever. So I was really surprised by his behaviors after court. The first few days after court he wasn't feeling well and was stil trying to figure everything out. Then it suddenly clicked. His behaviors mellowed out even more and he just seems more content. He just appears to feel like he belongs. Sure he still acts out occassionally or gets jealous of Jacob but it's different. He just seems more secure.

Matthew loves to tell people his new name. His full name. He tells people where his middle name came from (it's my dad's). When people ask if he had a birthday recently (he turned 4 May 17) he says, "Yes and I had an adoption party!" The adoption was a much bigger deal to him than his birthday was.

The first 6 months of a placement are rough. I expected that. I didn't expect how much change the first month post adoption would bring for a child placed here for 2 years. It's been good change. Adoption was in his best interest. He is now a child here forever and yes, he now has only 1 mommy. He still has a birth mom who loves him a lot. We will continue to talk about her and recognize her but his dream is now true. He has an adoption day (we call family day) and he now has my last name.

Welcome to the family Matthew. It's been almost 3 years since I first met you and took you to my home. It's been over a year since you stated I was your only mommy. It's been 1 month since the judge made you a legal forever member of the family. It's been a long journey and one I would do all over again just to call you my son.

Soccer Surprise

2011-05-22T18:43:00.002-05:00

I always knew I would be a sports mom but I never dreamed I would be a soccer mom. I love watching my children play sports but I always thought I would leave the coaching to the "other parent" preferably someone who could be a good male role model. That has all changed now.

The soccer season began in April. At the first game, the parents on Jacob's team quickly realized no one there was the coach. That means in the rec league world a parent would need to step up. I decided to give it a try for a game and see how it went. I loved it. 6 games later I have now volunteered to coach again next season. I really hope I am allowed to coach.

I have seen a variety of coaches on the field. Most of them great with the same attitude I have. Others have left me to raise my eyebrows. Sure I believe the children should be encouraged to play but I also remember that they are 5 and 6 years old. None of these children will most likely grow up to be the next professional soccer star. Some might decide to play high school or even college soccer and the rest will move on to other things as they grow older. At this time, the children are too young to predict which children will fall into what category.

My philosophy coaching is to allow all children equal playing time. If I see that my team is overpowering the other team, I will try to have some of my less skilled (usually younger) players play together to give a few more opportunities for the other team to catch up. If I see that my players are being overpowered, I try to make sure I always have one of my older players on the field with the younger ones and then cheer them on no matter how close they get to scoring the goal.

I also try to treat each child as an individual. There are some children who struggle just kicking the ball where they want to kick it or running and kicking at the same time. I cheer for those children anytime they kick the ball whether they kick where they intended to or not. Then there are the more skilled players who hear me most when they do score a goal or make a great play. I also try to make sure each child kicks the ball even if that means he or she kicks off or completes more corner and goal kicks than another player. My goal is for the kids to have fun and learn not to become pros.

Today I watched a coach scold a child for not running fast enough. He told another child if he didn't start kicking the ball harder he would have to sit out. My thought was that these are young children. If they need an extra break, give it to them. If they run a little slower because they are hot and tired, so be it. As long as they are having fun and learning the game, I don't care if they score a goal. This coach was frustrated that his kids weren't scoring against ours and stated "they don't have a chance." That annoyed me as well. Yes my kids were dominating but his kids were playing hard and having fun. There is a reason we don't keep score at this age. Because the score doesn't matter. What matters is that the children have fun, learn sportsmanship, get exercise and possibly learn some good life lessons (like how to be a good friend to everyone on and off the field) not that they score the winning goal.

Enough said. We now have 2 months until the next season. I am hoping to get to coach again. I officially volunteered and will attend the coach training sessions if I am invited and able to make them. Until then, it is time to enjoy the last few weeks of swimming lessons and concentrate on being a t-ball mom. From the sidelines this time.

Why 4 Is Important

2011-05-08T16:36:00.002-05:00

In our family, turning 4 is a very big deal. You get a new bike, a new car seat (if you weigh enough) and can chew gum. Matthew turns 4 in a little over a week. I gave him is new bike yesterday because I had time to get it and we won't be around much next weekend. He loves it. He rode it to the elementary school today for his soccer game and did a good job on it. He really likes having a "big bike" like his brother and be able to keep up with him a little bit better.

Introducing My Son!

2011-04-27T20:42:00.007-05:00

Matthew Stertz (M) was adopted today. He is now my son. I am no longer his foster parent. I am now his mom. I am happy to see this journey come to an end and will cherish this day forever.

Becoming A Family

2011-04-27T20:42:00.005-05:00

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Sick Kids

2011-04-23T10:03:00.002-05:00

There is nothing worse than having a sick kid. M has been sick for 3 days. I am pretty sure it is the flu and I really hope he feels better tomorrow for Easter. It has been 7 hours since I gave him ibuprofen and so far the fever has stayed away. He came in my room a few minutes ago and announced, "Mom, I feel better now." I hope that's true. Poor kid. The doctor ran out of the flu vaccine last fall and I never followed up. I have never had the flu before and didn't realize how miserable it really is. I can guarantee everyone he will be getting the flu shot from now on. Thankfully, Jacob had an appointment for his well child check up last September during the last flu clinic and he was able to get vaccinated so maybe he won't get sick. Fingers crossed.

Having sick kids is always a good reminder of how blessed I am. My parents were able to step in the past 2 days and watch M will I worked. I have a job that is much more flexible than my last job and was able to leave work long enough to take M to the doctor without having to plan ahead and wait for someone to replace me. I could also flex my time and stop home in the middle of the day Thursday and Friday to check on M and make sure he was doing okay.

I am also very aware of how blessed I am to live in this country when my children are sick. I could run to the grocery store and have several medications to choose from, a variety of sports drinks and juices to pick out and lots of food choices that might be easier to eat.

In the past hour M has started eating, is fighting with Jacob and is back to his old energetic self. Now I just need to see if it lasts but either way it is a good sign. Maybe he will feel okay for Easter tomorrow.

Thinking About Spring

2011-04-16T09:41:00.003-05:00

It's hard to believe spring is here and has been for awhile. The weather outside is a very cold rain and there is even some talk of snow showers later today. Yuck! Not the 50s and 60s it is suppose to be this time of year. Tomorrow is suppose to be back in the 50s so I am focusing on the positive. Spring is here and last couple of weeks prove it. It just took a two day vacation.

Two weeks ago Jacob had his first t-ball practice. He was suppose to get his uniform today but it's really not baseball weather today. Soccer started last week for Jacob and M. I ended up coaching Jacob's team which I really enjoyed. I would prefer he had a coach who knows more about soccer but I really did have a lot of fun.

Last Saturday Jacob, M, P and I went to the zoo. It was a nice day with a high in the upper 50s and the animals were really enjoying it. The bears were more active than I have seen them in a long time. The baby lion hasn't made his debut yet so we will have to return soon for that.

The weather is suppose to be nice again tomorrow (or at least nicer) so I will be heading to the soccer field again. I love this part of parenting. When I dreamed of being a mom it was always watching my kids play sports and reading to them at night. I love that I get to do both now.

11 Days!

2011-04-16T09:40:00.001-05:00

11 days until a huge family announcement! That's right. Our family is growing and the announcement is coming in 11 days!

Disappearing Act

2011-04-10T07:25:00.002-05:00

It amazes me to think that my readers out there must think I have fallen off the face of the earth at a time when I feel like I have to be everywhere at once. That was especially true Thursday evening. I had three meetings at work at the same time in three different cities while I was receiving text messages from my dad about evening plans and how early could I get home while a group of my fellow students was patiently waiting for me in a city almost two hours away and the doctor's office was calling wanting me to go in and see them as soon as possible. To say I was feeling overwhelmed and frustrated is an understatement. Yet somehow I managed to juggle everything with minimal effects on othe people. I know some of them were a little annoyed (okay one was actually angry) that I couldn't be in 5 different places at the same moment in time, it all worked out okay in the end.

It can be hard to meet all of my responsiblities at the same time. It is during these very busy times that I seem to drop off the face of the earth to many people, not just my readers.I begin getting emails and phone calls from friends wondering why I have been so quiet and wouldn't I like to spend some time with them? Of course I do and I will. Just maybe not this week.

So how do I juggle the responsiblities of a demanding job, children (who are sometimes demanding and should be), school and family obligations? I prioritize. I can say I have gotten pretty good at prioritizing and time management in the past two years. People often ask how I get everything done and the answer is time management, prioritizing responsiblities and remembering to take care of myself and my own needs.

Here are the ground rules I have made for myself:

1) My children come first. No, they don't get to have everything they want and they do sacrifice some time away from me but I work hard to make those sacrifices as few as possible.

2) Work is a priority right after my children's well-being. My former employer has often stated that work comes before children and family but I have always refused to go along with that. It created tension at times but that is just the way it is. Thankfully, my new employer is much better about this juggling act and agrees children come first.

3) My children's social activities are probably my next priority. The reason is that their activities relate back to rule #1. I am a strong believer in having children in sports or other age appropriate activities. It helps build self-confidence, teaches social skills and is known to help prevent more serious problems such as drug abuse and school problems as the children get older.

4) School is my next priority. I only have a limited amount of free time so I have to spend it on school work. Especially as the school semester enters the final six weeks. It is this time of year that I feel like I need to clone myself to get all of the papers and projects done. It is also this time of year when I begin questioning whether or not I am really capable of meeting all of my responsibilities.

5) Sleep. I will get at least 7 hours of sleep most nights preferably 8. I will also allow myself a nap on weekends if I am feeling tired and overwhelmed. I don't see this as a waste of time. It is needed for mental and physicla health.

6) My own health and needs. I had some medical problems the past few weeks that have resulted in several doctor appointments and some extra time in bed. I will have several more appointments in the next few weeks but things should hopefully be improving now. It has been a good reminder that I won't be able to meet all of my responsibilities if I don't take care of myself and my own needs.

7) Relationships. This goes back to meeting my own needs. While I can't spend as much time as I would like with friends, I make sure I see them occassionally and talk to them regularly. I don't want to suddenly come to summer and fewer school responsibilities and find I don't have anyone to relax with. Plus those friends are supports during the crazy times (like right now).

So for those of you who keep asking, how does she do it? There is a short answer. That and with help from friends and family (including wonderful babysitters and day care). Now, back to the four major assignments due this week and kids who are asking for breakfast.

Spring Is Near!

2011-04-02T10:05:00.002-05:00

There are a few signs of Spring that I watch for every year. MLB opening day (Go Cubs and Brewers!), tulips growing, snow melting and warmer temperatures. I also look forward to the start of spring t-ball and soccer. Soccer starts next week and Jacob has a t-ball picnic today to get the season started. His first practice is in 2 weeks and his first game is in May.

I am really looking forward to spring. The past two weeks have been full of ups and downs. I have been preparing an adoption party and looking for the perfect adoption announcement (more to come soon on this). I thought I was going to be able to announce a new baby later this year but that didn't turn out as I had hoped. Maybe next time will have better results.

Work is going really well. My supervisor says she is pleased with the work I have been doing and is shortening my training schedule. She's been very supportive as I have dealt with some minor health issues and even reminded me it's okay to call in sick to work if I need to. Yesterday she and two other supervisors threw a pizza party and make cake and pie for all of the workers to enjoy. It was a great treat and so nice to work for a supportive supervisor.

Jacob and M have started at a new babysitter that seems to be going well so far. M has grown up so much this year. He turns 4 in May and I can really see him beginning to mature and leave the toddler years behind him. Two months ago I wasn't really sure he was ready socially or emotionally to start 4K in the fall but that has since changed. I am now sure that not only is he ready but he will do great.

Jacob had his first sleepover last night. We have had some of his friends spend the night here before but this is the first time he has spent the night away from me since he came home from Ethiopia. He spent the night at his friend, Grace's, house. Jacob was a little nervous going over there and I promised him he could come home at anytime if he wanted. I got an email this morning that not only did he not want to come home but he stayed up until 11! I am still waiting for him to come home so he must still be having fun. I miss him but am very proud of him. He is growing up and becoming much more independant.

For the most part the past two weeks have been full of medical appointments, training at work and just trying to keep up with lives that seem a little too busy right now. This weekend will be much more relaxing with not nearly as many scheduled activities. I plan to spend it on laundry, homework and just hanging around the house and neighborhood.

Ethiopia 2007 at OneTrueMedia.com

2011-03-12T17:03:00.001-06:00

Here is a look back at that wonderful journey four years ago. I am so blessed to have this little boy as my son.

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Another Look Back

2011-03-12T16:57:00.002-06:00

Here is a link to the video I made of my week in Ethiopia and meeting Jacob. Feel free to look at the other videos on the page.

http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=37473955097966d4334274&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url

4 Years Ago

2011-03-12T16:19:00.003-06:00

Parents often warn me to appreciate every moment with my children because they grow up way too fast. I can say that after 4 very short years home with Jacob, they are absolutely right. As I look back at that wonderful and life changing week four years ago, I have many wonderful memories.

Mar. 9, 2007- After more hours than I care to remember, our flight on Ethiopian Airlines landed in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. I was tired and overcome with emotions. I began to fight back the urge to cry and began to look around me. The Ethiopians on the plane were applauding. Something they did every time the plane landed at it's destination. The American women there to meet their new children were crying.

I got off the plane, got my visa, exchanged some money, got my luggage and found the rest of the people in my travel group as well as my parents. We got onto the van that would take us to the guest house and began to drive through the city. I fought even harder not to cry as I realized I was in the same city as my son. In a few short hours, I would meet him for the first time. I would no longer be a single woman wishing for a child. I would be a mom. My identity would change and I would change. But at that moment, I was just trying to maintain my composure in front of all these people I had just met while I took in the sights.

March 10, 2007: We got up early drove to the office before heading to the care center (orphanage) where my son had lived for the past 11 hours. When we talked to the social worker, got our name tags and learned more about what our week would be like. I listened but kept thinking that all I wanted was to go meet my son. Finally they took us to the care center where I got off the van. They took the families one at a time to meet our children. I don't remember where I was in the line to get my child. I just remember them saying my son's name and then following the social worker out to the patio.

The children were sunbathing when we arrived. They were suppose to be sitting on chairs but many of the young toddlers were wandering around. I remembering seeing a little boy that I thought was Jacob in a nanny's arms but the social worker walked by him and to the larger group. She asked the nanny there where my son was and the nanny pointed back to the baby we had just passed. I was nervous, exicited and again had the urge to cry. Not because I was happy or sad. Just because I was overwhelmed and wasn't sure what I was feeling. I couldn't believe this beautiful child was mine. There must be some mistake yet they told him I was his mommy. They told me to pick him up and he just sat in my arms and stared at me. Everyone took pictures and I just took in the moment and all the emotions. I was finally a mom and my dream had come true. I had met my son.

March 11, 2007: I travelled to a smaller city, Hosannah, Ethiopia, to meet my son's birthmother. Wow. I have never had an experience like that in my life. I smiled and she cried. She told me how much she loved Jacob and the reasons behind her decision to make an adoption plan. I won't share that story here and will never share it with anyone besides Jacob but I will say his birthmom is the strongest woman I have ever met. Jacob inherited her smile and her strength. Along with many facial fatures. She taught me the true meaning behind a mother's love. She left that meeting smiling and I left crying. Something I did for a long time after meeting her.

March 12, 2007, I arrived at the care center in the morning and got off the van with the other people in our travel group. I began walking up the sidewalk to the building my son was in. As I approached the building I saw Jacob standing on the othe side of the patio door. We made eye contact and he began screaming, giggling and banging on the door. He ran to the hallway door and met me there. I picked him up and went into the room. I sat down and some of the children began playing with my hair and coming up to me. A little boy came up and gave me a hug. Jacob quickly pushed him away and began blocking all of the other children from getting near me. He was claiming me as his own. He didn't need to. He had already claimed my heart.

March 13, 2007, Jacob and I went to the American embassy to get his visa. As we walked up to the building, I watched an Ethiopian family dressed in very nice clothes come out smiling. They got to the sidewalk, began yelling, smiling and hugging. They crossed themselves, fell to their knees and were obviously thanking God. They had gotten that magical American visa so many others were hoping for and that my son would easily get through the miracle of adoption and an immigration law for family members of American citizens. I will never forget that feeling that I wasn't any better than these people standing in line for hours praying for the chance to come to America yet I got to walk by them and avoid the long lines because I was born here. I still struggle with the unjustice I felt at that moment.

I returned Jacob to the care center that evening. He was a very sad little boy who cried and couldn't be consoled by his nannies. I was so glad I would never have to leave him again. I returned to the guest house and went to my room where I cried. I cried hard. I remember my dad coming into the room and telling me it would be okay. I would be able to take custody the next day and everything would be okay again. I swore I would never leave that little boy like that again. And I never have.

March 14, 2007, I attended the going away ceremoy and took custody of my beautiful one year old boy. We were finally a family. I was so grateful. I remember barely sleeping that night and waking up everytime he went to the bathroom in his diaper (it was pretty loud and disgusting). The next morning I heard him begin to stir and looked over at him. He sat up in the crib, looked at my parents and then looked at me. He began smiling from ear to ear and our lives together had officially begun. We were a family.

A lot has changed in the past 4 years. I have gone from wishing I had children to having two beautiful children (and probably a 3rd later this year. More to come on that later). I no longer think about what I want as I consider my future but I consider what is best for my children.

Jacob has gone from a baby trying to figure out what it meant to have a mom to a five year old boy getting ready for kindergarten and his first season of flag football. He's gone from not having a mom to having a mom, grandparents, an uncle and a brother. He's gone from being a baby who smiled and loved to get into trouble to being a happy child who still smiles often and loves to get his brother in trouble.

Our lives changed forever four years ago. I will never forget those days in Ethiopia or those first few days at home. There were challenges and many joys. I remember the days before I left for Ethiopia and worrying that I was making a huge mistake. Now, I can't imagine not having my children. Adopting Jacob was the best decision I ever made. I am so grateful to be his mom. A gift from God and his birthmom. I will never take either for granted.

Kindergarten Here He Comes!

2011-03-10T13:19:00.002-06:00

Jacob is now registered for kindergarten. I spent a lot of time the past couple years trying to decide which school and program to place him in. I eventually decided to go with my very diverse public school. I have no reason not to send him there and have been impressed the few times I have dealt with them in the past.

Jacob attended registration Monday night and screening this morning. The teacher said he is on track in all areas and ready to begin kindergarten. She showed me the sheet that said he isn't behind in any area and told me he was fun to work with. Jacob is nervous about kindergarten but feeling better after meeting a couple of the teachers. Our next step is just to attend the visit later this spring and see a classroom.

It's hard to say goodbye to my baby. I am so proud of the child he has become but also miss the baby. It was 4 years ago today that I held him for the first time. A day I will never forget. One of the best days in my life.

Too Little Time

2011-03-07T19:03:00.002-06:00

So everyone once in awhile I post on here about how overwhelmed I am feeling. Most of the time being a single parent really doesn't seem that difficult to me. Or at least not anymore difficult than for any other parent. It might be because I just love being a mom or it could be because I have never parented in a 2 parent home so I have no idea what that feels like. Right now though, I am really wishing I had another adult here to help me. Don't get me wrong I am still very glad I am a mom and don't regret my children one bit. I even still hope to have a baby some day. But for tonight I am feeling overwhelmed and wishing there was another adult here.

Here is what is on my list of things going on making me feel overwhelmed.

1) Kindergarten screening. I registered Jacob for kindergarten today. I knew he would need to attend screening but I didn't expect them to only have times on Wed or Thu this week or next between 8:30 and 3:00. I just happen to have training all of those days and can't get off work. I'll call the school tomorrow but can't do much if we can't come in someother time. I just wish they would have given us more warning and maybe some evening appointments.

2) Doctor Appoiontments. I have 2 appointments in the next month. My boss is good about me leaving work for them but I still feel bad missing work when I just started this job.

3) School blues. It is the middle of the semester and I am definitely feeling the stress. It gets like this around this time every semester but with the job it just seems to be a little tougher.

4) School and licensing requirements. I am trying to get instructors to email me the course syllabus for courses from last year so I can submit them for my social work certificate. I need this to pass probation at my job next year.

Only one of these actually has to do with my children but I still would like someone to lean on right now. It seems like life is just moving a little too fast. Thankfully, it's almost spring break and I will have some time to just rest and catch up.

Jacob Chants

2011-02-23T12:30:00.002-06:00

Jacob has been following the protests in Wisconsin closely. He really does not like Governor Walker stating "he's being mean." Gov. Walker was speaking on tv during dinner last night when I heard Jacob begin chanting:

"Hey Hey! Ho Ho! Governor Walker YOU have got to go!"

Why Is Wisconsin So Mad?

2011-02-19T07:26:00.003-06:00

Wow! What a week! Not only did I get a new job but most of my co-workers and my supervisor are gone for good parts of the day. Where is everyone? Down at the Captial protesting one of the most hated governors in Wisconsin history. He's only been in office for about 45 days but has caused more protests and harm than we have seen in decades.

So why are we so mad? Well lets start with the first reason he likes to say. Money. It's NOT about the money. The state union (which I am not a part of) agreed to concessions last fall. Governor Walker asked the legislature not to accept the contract and concessions because he wanted to negotiate deeper cuts. Okay. No problem. The problem is he then never followed through and asked the unions for more. Actually, he refused to talk to them stating he wouldn't negotiate.

The biggest issue is that he is attempting to take collective bargaining away. He states he has to because unions never give up anything. Actually even without considering that the state union offered concessions last fall and has since stated they will give him what he's asked for in this bill, we can loook at other unions. Take a look at the public union I just left. They took a 5 percent pay cut two years ago. Last year they took a 3 percent pay cut. Then we can look at the public union I am in now. They also took a 5 percent pay cut two years ago and a 3 percent cut last year. This year they agreed to a contract with no pay raise and more contributions to their health care. That's what the county asked for and that's what we gave them. So between the concessions the unions have been taking and the promise that we will give more, I'm not sure why the Governor is after us so hard. We aren't the enemies. He is.

There are other troubling cuts that with only a week to look at the bill and no time for public input everyone is just suppose to accept. There are cuts to education, cuts to medical care for the state's most vulnerable children and decreases in other service areas. Now, maybe these cuts are necessary. I don't know. I would know but Gov. Walker won't tell us about them. He hasn't given anyone enough time to look at them.

So why are 40,000 people at the capital protesting and many more writing letters, signing petitions and calling the captial? Because our governor only cares about the rich and is willing to watch the poor and middle class suffer. He's says it's about helping unemployment but that's also not true. Unemployment has been going down for the past year without his help/harm and it shows signs of continuing to decline. More people are hiring and jobs are easier to find.

I am proud of my senators hanging out in Illinois. I hope they stay there until this governor realizes the people of Wisconsin aren't afraid of him and won't be bullied. We won't stop protesting until the governor is willing to not only listen but also show he cares more about us than the multimillionaires who put him in office. Right now his staff can't walk the halls of the capital. There are too many people. Schools are shut down not because teachers are worried about themselves but because they are worried about the education system's future. Social workers are spending vacation time and lunch breaks at the captial because they are worried about how this bill affects their clients. Law enforcement and fire fighters (two groups who endorsed him during the election but won't be next time and are currently exempted from this bill) have joined the fight because they are also worried about the state's future. I even watched a State Trooper handing out paper and pens asking people to continue to write.

Governor Walker, Polls show 58 percent of the people of Wisconsin do not like you after only 40 days. 66 percent do not approve of this bill. You say you want to represent the majority. Well, that's the majority. Wake up and act like a governor. Not a dictator.

And Our Lives Change Forever

2011-02-12T12:48:00.002-06:00

Today is it. After over 13 years of working in private security or law enforcement, I am hanging up my handcuffs. I am done. My children will no longer be able to tell their friends, "My mom's a police officer." I will no longer have that identity. It feels like I am losing a part of me. Yet I also know that this time had to come and has been coming for a long time.

I have posted on here in the past when I have had problems at work or frustrations. I always try to be careful what I post as I don't believe in airing an employer's dirty laundry or complaining publicly about every slight I see. Yet there are problems in every job and every field. I just won't make this blog about all my perceived injustices.

Monday I start my new position. I will be a social worker in child protective services. It is going to be a change. There are parts of the job that are similar but many parts that are very different. I am looking forward to the change. I'm burned out at my current job. The passion is gone. I am excited to be facing a new job with new challenges. One I hope and believe I will really like.

My children now say their mom used to be a police officer. She used to take people to jail. She used to watch bad guys. They also now say their mom takes care of children who are hurt. She helps keep kids safe. Or at least that is what I will be trying to do. Helping children who have suffered maltreatment be safe. It won't be an easy job but it will be a rewarding job.

On Monday my children will no longer have to tell playmates they can't go to a party or come over to play because Mom is working. They won't have to miss soccer or baseball games because Mom can't get off work. They won't miss church performances because Mom had to work. I will be off on weekends to enjoy those things. I get to be mom every weekend and most evenings. I get to have a Monday through Friday job. It will be better for my kids. It will be better for me. It's just hard to say goodbye to an identity I have had for the past 13 years.

A Lot Less Stress

2011-02-09T07:48:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I am quiet because I am just so busy and overwhelmed that I really don't have time to write. It's not that I don't have a ton of things to say and nothing exciting to report. It's just that there isn't time.

That hasn't been the case over the past month. I really don't have anything to say (yes, I know those of you closer to me are amazed). I made a New Year's Resolution to slow down and work harder on reducing the amount of stress in my life. I found that most of the stress came from just being overwhelmed by trying to do too much and not actually in individual task. So I'm not pushing myself as hard to get everything done right away or to do as much. Mostly, I am just making sure I have more time to relax and allow our lives to have more of a routine feel.

About 4 weeks ago, I received the phone call I have been working towards for about five years for. I have heard that changing jobs and careers is a major event that many people find very stressful. I also know that worrying about it and stressing about it doesn't change anything and is actually counterproductive for me. It makes me cranky. So I decided not to worry about what bad things might happen and just allow myself to concentrate on the good changes I know will be coming.

The first thing I did after receiving the tentative job offer was to fill out time off request slips for my current job. I know that I will be able to transfer my vacation time but I also know that I won't want to take vacation for the first several months and I have to be there at least 3 days a week or it will extend my probationary period. So I requested all weekends except this coming Saturday off work. It's amazing how having weekends off has reduced my stress level. Two days a week with no day care, school or work. I have time to work on laundry, do fun things with the kids and just spend time relaxing.

The job offer itself has been a source of major stress reduction. To have a job offer, a starting date and know that at least this goal has materialized has been great. I am no longer going to work wondering how much longer I will work there or if I will ever get a job offer. I have one. Now I can work on getting my new outfits ready for a job that doesn't require a uniform.

Less stress is making me a better mom too. I have noticed that I am much less tolerant or patient with the kids when I am feeling overwhelmed. Having less stress means I am able to be more patient with them and we all have noticed the difference. M reacted by acting out slightly at the changes in our schedules and just general life. Jacob doesn't really show it much except that he keeps telling his teachers about mommy's new job so I know he is aware of the changes as well.

I am just happy to finally have a job that will have a better schedule for my family. Limited evening hours, no weekends and no holidays. And I was really surprised to learn no pay cut. I was expecting to lose about 25 percent of my pay but found out that under the social workers contract I can transfer over at my current pay level. Another huge burden gone.

Life is good. We are blessed. We are happy.

American Mom

2011-02-06T07:47:00.003-06:00

Jacob and I have been talking about what he wants me to put in his post-placement report. This is a report that I write once a year to the Ethiopian government updating them on how Jacob is doing. It is also a report that his Ethiopian family can see and includes pictures. I like to have Jacob help me write the report and make sure I include anything he wants his Ethiopian family to know about him.

I always have trouble writing this report. It asks questions like how is his development and what challenges have we faced in the past year. The truth is that I haven't really faced any challenges with him. He is just always a great kid. He doesn't get in trouble often and when he does it is age appropriate and doesn't last past one time out.

I asked Jacob what he wants his birth family and the Ethiopian government to know. He stated he wants them to know that he is playing basketball and will be playing soccer and t-ball this year. I told him I would tell them that and that he is a wonderful kid.

Last night I tucked Jacob into bed as normal and told him how much I love him. He turned to me and stated, "I'm really lucky I got to come to America and have a mom." I always think I am the lucky one but I am glad to know he feels the same way. He still remembers living in the care center/ orphanage and waiting for his mom. When people ask if he is a "momma's boy" I always think of course he is. He knows what it's like to not have a mom and he is grateful we are together.

We Got Really Lucky Again

2011-02-02T07:42:00.004-06:00

I work in law enforcement. Or at least I will until February 12 when I turn in my badge and ID to get ready for my new job on February 14. That means that I don't get snow days. Ever. Someone has to patrol the streets, feed the inmates and keep the community safe. It also means that I have to find someone to watch my children and try to get myself to work even though the streets aren't plowed and the rest of the world is in their homes sleeping.

Work is the reason I really dread these huge snowfalls. We received about 18 inches of snow over the past three days with 12 inches falling last night. Now, I realize some areas south of us got even more but really 12 inches is too much. So how did we get lucky? This storm fell on my regularly scheduled day off. As a general rule, my employer will leave us alone if we are scheduled off and my phone never rang last night.

I am also grateful that my new job is considered non-essential when we get large storms so I won't have to worry about trying to get to work after these huge storms again. I can handle 6 inches, maybe even 8 but anything more than that is too much. If the government closes, I get to stay home with the kids. Definitely a blessing even if they will be stir crazy by tonight.

Other ways that I am feeling very blessed and lucky today:

-We are all healthy. While Jacob has a spot on his gum that I want looked at (I am hoping it's just his 6 year old molar coming through), we don't have any urgent medical needs that can't be postponed for a few days or even a couple weeks.

-We have food. We were able to plan ahead and had the financial resources to buy groceries ahead of the storm so that we don't have to worry about finding food. I know not everyone in our community is that lucky so I am grateful.

-We have electricity. That means we have tv, movies, cartoons, computers, lights and most importantly heat.

-The snow is pretty much done now and the winds should begin to die down this afternoon. That will make shoveling out the dryer vent (there is a snow drift about 4 feet high in front of it), shoveling the steps and finding a way to get a path to the back yard for the dogs much easier. I may have to find that path for the dogs sooner than this afternoon though.

-I have a great friend who will be over later today with a plow on the front of his truck. He will work his magic and clear my driveway later today leaving just the smaller tasks for me.

-We are together and no one is travelling. My children are home with me. My parents and brother are in their homes (actually my brother didn't get that much snow so he is probably working). No one is trying to travel and find their way home so I don't have to worry about anyone.

I try to be positive. Yes, I could grumble about how I'm stuck at home with 2 young boys with way too much energy. But I prefer to look at the positives. It makes life much better. I am now going to concentrate on the positive as I brave the winds and cold to clear the path for the dogs. It's that or get the carpet shampooer ready. I think I'll find that path now.

Winter Fun

2011-01-29T16:28:00.002-06:00

I admit that I absolutely dread winter every year. It's not the snow or even the ice. It's the cold. I hate being stuck inside all the time but I also really don't like being outside and freezing. That is why I am always very happy to see the end of winter come.

Today was in the upper 20s and low 30s so it wasn't so cold it was miserable outside. It was actually very enjoyable. I took Jacob, M and P sledding. Something I had been promising to do all winter but it has either been too cold or not enough snow. Today we finally had snow and warmer weather so we all went to the hill.

The hill near our home wasn't very busy which was a really nice surprise. The boys had a great time whizzing down the hill and Matt really loved it. He had to be coaxed back to the car by a promise that I would pull him on the sled as fast I could until we got back to the car. I also took the kids down to the edge of the lake and let them walk on the ice which they thought was really neat. P tried to see through the ice to find some fish but of course the ice is just too thick.

I don't mind this time of the year. For winter, this is my favorite part. Warmer temperatures and the promise of spring. Ground hogs day is coming and whether Jimmy sees his shadow or not, I hope for an early spring. Baseball, picnics, flowers and green grass all sound really nice right now. Along with a new job that will allow us to enjoy it more. I can't wait.

Another Surgery Appointment

2011-01-26T19:24:00.003-06:00

Today was another appointment at the surgery center. Jacob had another laser treatment on his port wine stain. He also had a minor procedure done to take care of another dermatology problem but that was very minor and really wouldn't have required anesthesia.

Jacob did great as usual. These days are always much harder on me than him. He actually enjoys going and tells me he misses the doctors and nurses. Today was no different. He happily told everyone at day care that he was going to "the face doctor" and would not be there today. He played contently and watched movies during the 2 hours we waited for our turn.

I am not as good as Jacob is at these appointments. I know he is fine and never worry about how he will handle it emotionally. I also know that he has always done well under anesthesia so I don't get extremely worried. I do get a little anxious. Especially when the appointments take longer that normal.

Today was one of those days where it took longer to get me. He usually wakes up and immediately starts crying. A nurse usually comes and gets me within a couple minutes to help settle him down and comfort him. Today I waited about half an hour after the doctor said he was finished and finally asked if I could see him yet.

The receptionist called back and someone came and got me. I walked back with the nurse who didn't say anything. I didn't hear anything and began to worry. What was going on that she wasn't talking and Jacob was crying? I rounded the corner and saw four nurses gathered around his room. He was in there sitting up, eating a popcicle and talking to everyone. He is always the star of the center and he was entertaining everyone with his humor again. The nurses quickly parted so I could see Jacob and he assured me he was fine. It was no big deal and oh, by the way, "May I please have some juice?"

I have to say. I was very proud of him. Another sign that he is growing up way too fast.

Life Is About To Get Chaotic

2011-01-22T07:59:00.002-06:00

Between my new job and the new school semester, I beleive life is going to get very busy very fast around here. Both of the boys had some major changes at day care with M's being the most noticeable. The day care decided to do one of their big moves and moved a large number of children around. Jacob got a few new kids in his class and everyone in M's class moved except for him. I have definitelly seen a change in behavior as they have adjusted to their new friends and classes. More tantrums, less patience and definitely needing earlier bedtimes. I know it will get better but whew! The last few days have been tough.

My school semester starts next week. I still don't have a start date for my new job but I'm working hard to get as much done as I can before the school semester starts. Both of my instructors have published their syllabus for the semester and invited us to get an early start. I have accepted that invitation and just submitted my first assignment. Both classes are going to be very interesting but the one on mental illness will be the most useful in my new career.

Still on my list to do. I need to shop for some new clothes. I have worn uniforms for the past 13 years and have never had to worry about casual dress or dress clothes. I have a few things but not nearly enough for a 40 hour a week job. Three outfits just won't work. I have a few weeks to get that done but it doesn't hurt to start watching for good deals now. I also want to get everyone haircuts and get the animals to the vet so I won't have those things to worry about.

Lots to do but an exciting time. Life is good.

Reason To Celebrate

2011-01-20T18:33:00.003-06:00

I finally have a reason to celebrate in the job search. My job search is over. People who know me well know that I have been working hard for the past couple of years to change careers. I want to begin a career as a social worker in child welfare. I also didn't want to leave the county I work for now. Leaving would mean I would lose my longevity, vacation, sick and comp time. The benefits are great and I just was not in a hurry to lose any of that and start completely over.

At 9:06 Tuesday night, I received a phone call offering me a position in the county I work for. Of course, I accepted the offer. I don't have a start date yet but it will be within the next few weeks. Other than being the job I want and believe I will enjoy, it is a much better work schedule for single parents. I will no longer have to work weekends or holidays unless there is an emergency. I can attend local community events and take advantage of the many free things to do and see around town on weekends. I am excited. My children are excited. This will be a great thing for all of us.

Packers or Bears

2011-01-18T14:25:00.003-06:00

Packers of course! I just received an email today from our church regarding the big game on Sunday. They are asking everyone to wear their team jerseys on Sunday. I have a sweatshirt but the boys will both be in their Packer jerseys. It should be a fun service and game. Better if the Packers can win!

Calmness

2011-01-17T07:44:00.002-06:00

Last week was a week of calm. I know some families that are really good about having nice quiet evenings at home but my family is not one of them. It seems like things are always moving too fast and I am always struggling to keep up. The past couple of weeks haven't felt like that and it has been really nice.

Monday Jacob had his second basketball class. While the excitement of a new sport has worn off slightly, he did really enjoy the class. He wishes he could "play in the big game" but understands the class is to learn how to play basketball and he will have a chance to play in "big games" next year when he is in kindergarten. M decided he wanted to watch his brother play so he stayed with me for about 15 minutes before deciding to go to child watch and play. He also wants his brother to play in a game "so I can cheer really loud for him."

Tuesday M and Jacob had swimming lessons. I am really proud of M. He has a new teacher this session and while he has done some testing such as walking on the bottom of the pool when he discovered he can now touch, he has done much less testing than he normally does for new teachers and care givers. Jacob and M are doing really well this session in swimming. Whether they pass their levels or not (Jacob actually can't pass his until he turns 6 or gets a little more coordinated), they are having fun, showing very good social skills (something I think every preschooler can struggle with) and getting better at swimming. M is really close to being able to swim short distances with a swim belt which is my goal for him. Jacob can already swim about 25 feet without a swim vest.

Wednesday we had dinner with a friend. It was nice to just get out of the house and relax without having a lot of things I know I should be doing.

Thursday the boys stayed home with one of the best baby sitters we have ever had and I went on a date. The date was with a man I have been friends with for years so I don't know where this relationship is headed. We had a nice dinner and then went to my house for awhile where the boys were very excited to see him.

Friday was another day to just relax and go with the flow. I have P on Friday evenings so we went to a local pizza restaurant where the kids could play games. I also ordered my textbooks for next semester.

Saturday we celebrated my mom's birthday before going to a single parents by choice meeting and church. It was a busy day but another one where we really weren't rushed. Saturday was probably the most stressful day just because we did have a schedule that was a little tighter but it still wasn't too bad.

Sunday I went back to work and am trying to get a jump start on my courses for this semester. I am taking a diversity course on cultural competence and a course on mental illness. Both should be very interesting but I am really looking forward to the mental health course. I have worked with many people with mild to severe forms of mental illness and I am fascinated by the field. It will be a busy semester but fun.

Today is a holiday at my job so I am making holiday pay and earning a day off to use in the future. Day care is closed so the kids are with my dad. They have a day of cooking and sledding planned. Dad told the boys he was going to sleep in but they quickly told him it was not an option and they are ready to play. Poor Dad. I hope they take it easy on him today.

Weekend Celebrations and Reflection

2011-01-09T16:43:00.003-06:00

This weekend marked the last of our Christmas celebrations. I will probably take the Christmas tree down this week (or risk having it up for Valentine's Day). It's always one of my favorite seasons. A chance to reconnect with family and friends, people in a giving mood and of course the reminder that Jesus came to teach us how to live as Christians and led us by example.

This year was a little more stressful than past years and I could tell that my enthusiasm was dappened because of it. I am really hopeful that 2011 will bring some much needed good news and success. As Jacob told me today, "You just have to keep trying Mom." Where did he learn to be so smart?

Friday was Genna and we celebrated as a family. The boys each received a new outfit Friday morning and took treats to school. Jacob had an eye appointment with another specialist who stated his glasses are working and he doesn't need patching (yay!). I had another job interview that went well but I'm not holding my breath. It's frustrating to continue to be one of the top 3 applicants for positions and not be picked. I'll find out this week if I was chosen this time.

After my job interview, I went to work for 2 hours and 15 minutes. It was pretty much uneventful and I was happy to pick my boys up from school and continue our Genna celebrations. I picked up our friend, P, and then made a turkey breast, stuffing, cranberries and rice and broccoli for dinner. We finished the meal with cupcakes which we also took to my parents' house to share. Overall it was a good day with a taste of Ethiopian culture (since my kids no longer want to eat Ethiopian food), a good doctor appointment and a good interview (no matter what the results are).

I took this weekend off work so the boys could be part of the church Christmas program. The program was originally snowed out in Decemeber and I was glad it was rescheduled for a day we could attend. M had trouble during practice yesterday and had to spend most of it sitting out. Jacob did well and was really excited to perform.

The boys woke up this morning and I started to get us all ready for the program. M stated that he didn't think he could be quiet that long and behave if he couldn't color. He stated he didn't want to try. I told him that was fine and I would rather have him sit out than misbehave. I was glad he recognized his limits and was honest about it. I am sure he will be able to participate next year when he is 4.

Jacob did great in the program. He sang loudly and paid attention. He also spent time waving wildly to me and my parents which everyone thought was really cute. I also enjoyed the kisses he blew to me. It really was a cute performance and all of the kids did wonderful.

Now that Christmas is over and I beginning to work on my projects for the new year. Jacob and I have started to clean out the toys in the playroom and move them to the basement. He and I are hoping to transform the room into a bedroom for him. We have a long way to go but we did get a good start on it today. He actually worked on it by himself for awhile which was really nice to see.

Tomorrow I head back to work and the boys head back to school. I will finish washing their nap things tonight and Jacob will finish the worksheets he missed while he was at the doctor Friday. It has been a good weekend and hopefully we will have many more to come.

Merry Christmas and Happy Genna to everyone. May 2011 be full of blessings for all of you.

Christmas Photos

2011-01-04T13:42:00.002-06:00

We spent Christmas at my parents' house with my brother. Everyone had a great time and it was a very nice day. M had so much fun with his new toys that he decided to stay home and play while Jacob and I saw Yogi Bear at the movie theater. Even two weeks later, M and Jacob are still playing with their toys and asking to stay home from school to play more. Their favorite toys are a motorcycle from our neighbor, a remote controlled crane and a garbage truck. Fireman Sam movies were also a hit.

Dreams Coming True

2011-01-04T07:35:00.002-06:00

I think if every mother and father of young children and babies have dreams of what they will do with their children some day. One of the dreams I have had for years is watching my children play sports. I'll admit that I have somewhat pushed Jacob towards sports the past couple of years. He was interested but not nearly as much as I was. I would have been fine if he told me not to sign him up but I did really hope he would learn to love sports.

Jacob seems to be finally really falling in love with sports. I think he is just finally getting old enough to begin to enjoy competition and challenge and learning how to deal with frustration and challenges. Jacob really started to show his new interest towards the end of the t-ball season. He suddenly started paying more attention to the game and playing in the dirt less. He began looking forward to when his next game was and would get really disappointed if a game was rained out.

As the t-ball season came to an end, Jacob began begging to play soccer. I really didn't plan to sign him up for soccer because he didn't seem to enjoy it last year. While I dream of watching him play sports, I don't want him to play if he doesn't enjoy it. I reluctantly signed him up and waited to have to struggle to get him to play. It never happened. Jacob not only played hard he had a great time.

Jacob's next request was football but flag football in our part of town doesn't start until kindergarten so he has one year to wait. We took the fall off sports but Jacob's interest hasn't lessened. He is still begging to play flag football. I promised him I would continue to watch for sports that fit into our schedule.

We looked at the sports for preschoolers at the Y over Christmas break and found basketball. Jacob was very excited. He told his teacher and all of his friends he was going to play basketball. He had his first class last night and spent the entire class learning to dribble. He has some work to do but he had fun and was improving. I promised to try to find a basketball so he can practice at home. Mostly I was just glad to see him smile throughout the class.

This spring will be bringing soccer and t-ball. Then he will enter kindergarten and I know that he will be asking to play flag football at the Y. Thankfully, the Y is reasonably priced and near our house. It should be a good spring and I am really loving having a 5 year old. M will start playing more sports next year also. I think I am really going to enjoy watching my kids over the next few years.

Perfect Start to 2011

2011-01-01T21:06:00.003-06:00

I will admit that I haven't written my New Year's Resolutions. I have started to think about them but haven't decided exactly what they will be. For example, I want to set some financial goals (ie: what debt to retire, how much to save, etc) but haven't figured out exactly what those goals will be. I also like to set more personal goals such as behavior changes and other personal improvements that are far too personal to post on a public website. I will write them out eventually and might even share some of the less personal ones here. I just haven't found the time to sit and think and write yet. Maybe later this week. My last post shared some of my hopes for the next year and some of those dreams will be included in my resolutions just in slightly different forms.

So today wasn't a day where I sat and reflected. Instead I used it as a day to start working on one of the resolutions that I am willing to share publicly. I want to spend more time in 2011 with my children just relaxing. No time lines or deadlines. Fewer activities rushed through so that we can check it off our to do list and move onto something else. Just time to spend enjoying eachother.

I started that resolution today. The boys and I layed around the house watching TV and lounging until about 9:30 this morning. We then got dressed and went to my parents' house. My mom and I took the boys to the mall where we spent about 2 hours just playing on the climbing equipment, playing with trains and reading books in the bookstore and eating lunch.

Around 1:30, we returned to my parents' house where the boys took a nap while I went to the grocery store. My dad fixed pork chops and mashed potatoes for dinner and we watched my beloved Badgers play a good game in the Rose Bowl (even if they did lose). We then watched an episode of Diego to reward M's very good behavior and patience during the football game.

It was 8:00 by the time we got home. I return to work tomorrow for 2 more days before my normal weekend. While I am never ready to leave my kids and go back to work, I am comforted returning after a relaxing and enjoyable day with the kids (and my parents).

Sure. We will still have days that are packed with activities. There will be activities that we have to squeeze in around other activities. But I also am pledging to myself and my children that I will try to have more days where we just relax, throw the schedules out the window, turn off the cell phone and computer and enjoy each other. I also pledge to continue to make spending one-on-one time with each of my children a priority this year. It's time that the kids really enjoy and I think is important for all of our relationships with eachother.

A Look Back and Forward

2011-01-01T08:56:00.001-06:00

Last year I made a post about what I was looking foward to in 2010. Of course, many things happened that I would never have predicted and we had challenges and blessings. I wanted to look back and see how I did on my predictions though. So here they are.

1) Finish 2 semesters of grad school. I did this although I decided to only attend part-time this year. A decision that I am glad I made although I do wish I was graduating in August. Oh, well. One more year isn't bad.

2) Finish my internship. I can check that one off. It went well and I miss it.

3) Find a new job. Nope. Not yet. I'm getting closer but haven't been offered one yet. I am still hoping it will happen soon. I printed off another job application today and will apply for the same eligibility list I'm on now.

4) Obtain social work certification. I did this.

5) Complete another adoption home study. Check this one off also.

6) Jacob in 4K. Check. He's doing great.

7) M in 3 year old preschool. Check. He's also doing great at the new daycare.

8) No more diapers. Check. We only use pull-ups at night.

9) Camping. Didn't quite get to this one. I did buy a tent on clearance for cheap so we are getting closer.

10) Passing swimming lessons. Jacob is really close but not quite there yet.

11) Culture camp. Nope but it is on my list of things to do someday.

12) Watching Jacob and M bond as brothers. Check. They are definitelly there.

So here is a look at what I hope 2011 will bring.

1) M's adoption should be finalized sometime very soon. Hopefully this winter or spring. I can't imagine it won't be final by the end of this year.

2) Kindergarten. Jacob will start in the fall.

3) 4K. Hopefully, M will be part of the first 4K class in our district. Otherwise he will be in 4K at the day care he currently attends. It's expensive but very worth every penny. I wish I had taken him there much earlier.

4) Sports. M will be playing soccer and t-ball. Jacob will be playing soccer, basketball, t-ball and football. I guess you can call me a soccer mom now. And I'm proud of it.

5) School and church performances. Jacob has been in them for awhile but he really seems to enjoy them and look forward to them now. It's fun to watch him get so excited and really work hard.

6) Reading. Jacob is very close to being able to read. He can recognize all of the letters and is just starting to sound out words. By the end of this year I am sure I will have a reader on my hands.

7) A new job. I hope this one comes true this year. Right now I am only applying at the county I currently work for so I don't lose seniority and benefits. I am hoping to get a transfer soon but if not I may start to look outside the county.

8) Camping. We will do this one. No excuses. We have a tent now. Jacob is big enough to help me put up the tent and M is big enough to be trusted not to wander away or fall into a campfire (as long as he is supervised). I have friends who have said they will go with us so we really better make our way to the campground.

9) Mehaber. I was able to get off work to go to Mehaber again this year. It should be fun.

10) A party! If M's adoption is finalized we will finally be able to celebrate. I already have the party invitiations picked out and ready to order. I just need a date.

Life is good. Sure there have been challenges such as a very bad day care (the state substantiated my complaint), adoption delays and job seeking disappointments. There will be challenges next year as well (I am pretty sure one of our cats will pass away). Yet overall we are very blessed. We are a family and love each other. We work together, help each other and enjoy each other. I know we are very blessed and hope that 2011 brings even more blessings to my family and yours.

Basketball

2010-12-31T08:01:00.002-06:00

It is with a little sadness and even more excitement that I am able to announce Jacob will be playing basketball for the first time starting Monday. Why sadness? Because I kept hoping that I would have a new job that would prevent me from being off work at 4 PM. The reality is that I haven't gotten a new job offer yet and while I still might, it won't be before the season begins on Monday. So I faced reality today and signed Jacob up for the winter session.

The basketball program is on Monday afternoons at the YMCA. I wish it was at 5:00 or later so those of us who have to work could participate but it's not. They lower the hoop to 8 feet for the 5 and 6 year olds so hopefully Jacob will be able to score some points. Either way I just want him to have fun.

Whew! What A Week!

2010-12-29T10:16:00.003-06:00

Life has been absolutely crazy and fun the past week or so. We arrived back from vacation last Tuesday around 2:30 in the afternoon. Our first stop was the dog kennel to pick up our two dogs. The dogs were happy but obviously very tired and ready to just go home and sleep. I never dreamed a kennel could be so exhausting but it must have been. I guess having all kinds of new people, dogs to "talk" to and new play areas tired them out.

We took the dogs home and then I took M to my parents house while Jacob and I went to do a very fast run through the grocery store. We needed just enough food to get us through Christmas which really wasn't much. The grocery store was busy as I expected that close to Christmas.

We left the grocery store and headed to a day care in the neighboring community to pick up a five-year-old friend. Grace's mom needed someone to watch Grace overnight while she took care of some family things. Grace was a delight. She is a little girl who is full of energy and can out last either of my two boys (which really takes a lot). She kept asking if she was being an angel which in her own way she was.

Grace, Jacob and I picked M up and we all went to McDonald's for dinner. Grace hadn't had a chance to see Santa Clause so we headed to the mall after eating and paid Santa a visit. I reminded Jacob and M that Santa had already started their gifts so make sure you don't ask for something different this time. They didn't disappoint and Jacob asked for a garbage truck with yellow garbage can and M asked for a parking garage.

Wednesday Jacob, Grace and I all got up early and played in the house. Jacob and M needed to go to day care for about an hour to finish up their holiday activities and give me a chance to finish up mine. Grace and I worked together to wrap Jacob and M's presents and move all of the gifts from my parents' house to my car. We returned home, made lunch and laid down for an hour. After naps, we finished the day by making Christmas cookies before Grace went home.

M and I spent Wednesday evening shopping for a gift for M to give Jacob. We quickly found a doctor kit that Jacob had been asking for as well as a present for our friend P. I was very tired by this point so we picked Jacob up and all went home for a fairly early bedtime.

Thursday was another busy day but not as bad as Tuesday and Wednesday. Jacob, P, M and I all went to the holiday train and garden show at the local gardens. P really enjoyed looking at the different flowers, Jacob and M really enjoyed the trains and everyone enjoyed some cookies afterwards. We had a holiday lunch of macaroni and cheese at Noodles and Company and gave P her doll. Jacob, M and I were still tired from our vacation and the past two days so we spent time in the afternoon just picking up the house, doing laundry and taking some much needed naps.

Christmas Eve and Day were fun and I will write about them later. For the most part, they were uneventful and just enjoyable.

Sunday the boys and I spent time putting their new toys together and playing. Well, they did most of the playing. I spent most of my time trying to unpack the suitcases and get at least a little closer to finishing the laundry. It is amazing how fast time flies when there are three suitcases to launder, Christmas toys to put together and play with and of course, we all wanted to take a nap. I spent some time relaxing and watching the Packer game while the kids slept so the day wasn't completely lost to work.

Monday Jacob's friend Lana came over while her mom worked. Her mom was kind enough to give up some money to spend so we decided to go to Chuck E Cheese for lunch. Lana is 4 years old and just a delight to be around. She played with the boys while I made breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. I did a couple chores around the house and then took the kids downtown to get my uniform for work that night. We went to Chuck E Cheese after leaving my office and spent about two hours eating pizza and playing games. All of the kids had a great time and were exhausted by the time we left.

I got home with Lana and the boys and had just started putting laundry away when Lana's mom arrived to take her home. I had to hurry and get ready for a special work assignment that night. I picked up the babysitter and hurried off to work until about 10.

Yesterday was almost as busy as Monday. I took M to day care so he will have enough hours in to meet his funding requirements. I took the opportunity to take Jacob and P bowling. Neither had ever been bowling before and both had a great time. We bowled two games which took us about an hour and a half to finish. Bowling is a much slower game with young children especially when the ball seems to barely be moving as it inches down the lane. Everyone had fun though and we all survived the trip.

Jacob had been waiting since Christmas to go to Toys R Us and get a remote control crane so we stopped there before bowling. As soon as we took P to her house, Jacob and I got to work putting the crane together. It was actually a lot easier to assemble than I anticipated and Jacob had fun playing with it until it was time to get M from day care.

I decided it was time for some adult time and went to dinner and a movie with a friend last night. We saw Little Fockers which was funny and a great way to just relax. I got home around 9:30 and picked up the house for the house cleaner today (still the best money I spend each week). I got to bed around 10:30 and was awakened at 4:40 this morning by an eager M. He wanted to watch cartoons before going back to day care.

Now I am back to work and ready for our normal routine to start. Tonight will be much quieter with me doing laundry and the kids enjoying their new toys. Christmas vacation is over and we are all ready for some normalcy to return.

5 Years Ago Today

2010-12-24T08:34:00.004-06:00

It was 5 years ago tonight that I began thinking about adopting my first child. I was sitting in church watching the kids fidget in their seats and the parents trying to keep them quiet. I was quietly wishing that I had children and hoping that I would someday be a mother. Then that little voice in the back of my head started chanting adoption. One thing I have learned over the years is to never ignore that little voice.

I got home from church still thinking about adoption. I really wanted a baby or young child but believed the stereotype that the only child I could adopt as a single woman would be an older child from the US foster care system. Now, I'm not against adopting older kids or from foster care. Quite the opposite. I encourage anyone to consider these children if it is right for you but it wasn't my dream. My dream was my own young child.
I got home and sat down at the computer. I remembered looking at waiting foster children in the past but it had been a couple of years and I didn't remember where I had found them. I began a web search and immediately came across an adoption agency stating they accepted single women. What???? I was shocked and felt a surge of adrenaline. Maybe this really would be possible. Maybe I could be a mother.

I picked up my phone and immediately called a friend. I was expecting her to tell me I was crazy and that I was not ready to be a mom. After all, I was only 28 and still young. That's not what she said though. She said that she had secretly been thinking about the same thing but didn't know where to start or if it was possible.

The rest is history. We agreed to go to an orientation meeting a few weeks later. As is typical for me, I started researching agencies and programs on line and praying for guidance. In January, 2006, I started the process to bring an infant home from Ethiopia. In March, 2007, I finished that journey with a baby boy (17 months at home coming).

Five years ago today I listened to that little voice in the back of my head. I believe it was God calling me to my son. God works in mysterious ways. I urge everyone to be open to hearing His call. We sometimes lack faith and God has to keep nagging us but if you are willing to listen He will show you great things. He showed me my son.

Christmas Cookies

2010-12-22T20:27:00.002-06:00

Jacob and M had a friend spend the night last night. Actually, we arrived home from vacation and picked her up about two hours later. We went to McDonald's for supper then visited Santa one last time at the mall. We spent this morning playing and wrapping Christmas gifts and then made cookies this afternoon. Grace left tonight right before dinner and the house already seems earily quiet. She was a lot of fun to have over. I forsee more sleepovers in the future.

Vacation Pictures

2010-12-20T09:18:00.003-06:00

Children Are A Reminder Of How Fast Time Flies

2010-12-20T08:56:00.003-06:00

The boys and I are on day 4 of a 5 day vacation. It has been a nice vacation so far. We have been visiting with cousins we haven't seen in a few years and playing with cousins who we have only met once or twice before. It's great to be so near our family. If I could make the ideal life, I would live closer to my extended family but also live near my parents and brother. That isn't going to happen so I have to settle for just visiting them when I can. Which isn't nearly often enough.

We arrived in Searcy, Arkansas on Friday night and saw my grandmother. She is 91 years old and suffering from the beginning stages of alzhiemers but seemed to really enjoy seeing everyone. She didn't remember my children or recognize me or my brother on site but she did know our names and seemed to remember us when we returned to her apartment on Saturday. It was comforting to walk in and see her in the middle of doing her laundry and seeing how independent she still is. It is never easy watching relatives grow old but I am grateful for this chance to see her. M seemed to enjoy looking at her puzzle and was even close to putting a couple of pieces in. That kid is really gifted at puzzles and spacial things.

We attended my cousin's wedding Saturday night and saw cousins that we only see every few years. We really didn't have much time with them since the reception was very crowded and short but we did have fun seeing them for a little while. I sat looking at their children and was amazed at how old and grown up some of them looked.

Our next stop was in Bentonville, Arkansas to see cousin's from the other side of the family. We were blessed to be able to spend more time with them and really enjoyed just hanging out. We went to a pizza place called Fun City that was very similar to a Chuck E Cheese. We spent almost 2 hours there while the kids ran and played. It was great to give them that opportunity after almost 3 days of being forced to be quiet and not allowed to just run. The kids needed that break. We finished the day by swimming with our cousins at the hotel and then having a nice dinner together at Applebees. The kids were so tired that they fell asleep within 5 minutes of returning to the hotel.

We are now sitting in the hotel room watching TV and waiting for my other cousin to call. We are hoping to spend some time with her this morning before we leave for St. Louis late this afternoon. We will spend one more night swimming and then head home tomorrow. It has been a great vacation but one that was way to short. We will have to come back for another visit soon.

I gaze at my cousin's children and am amazed at how beautiful they are. I am saddened at how fast they grow up and how much of their lives we miss. I really wish we could live closer together and see each other more often but it is not possible. For now, I am just enjoying the time we can spend together.

Christmas Play Cancelled

2010-12-12T09:29:00.002-06:00

Jacob was disappointed. The Christmas play at church was cancelled today due to a large snowfall. I'm not sure how much we got but it was enough to make driving difficult and cancelled most of the church services for today. We actually skipped church last night for the same reason. I didn't want to get stuck 20 minutes from home if the storm hit during the service. It ended up being the right decision because it started snowing pretty heavily about the time church would have been ending.

I did get to watch Jacob practice for the performance yesterday morning. I was so proud of my little man. He is one of the bigger kids in his Sunday school class and will actually be moving up to the kindergarten class after the holidays (another story but I want to separate him from M). He stood tall on the stage, rocked to the music and sang along with the other kids. Last year he hated performing and I didn't usually force the issue. This year he has more self-confidence and really seems to enjoy it. He works hard and pays close attention to the teachers and directors. I just wish my work schedule didn't get in the way of so many of the children's concerts and performances. Maybe he can perform in the next concert.

Books For Christmas

2010-12-09T19:47:00.003-06:00

First it was any book with Thomas The Train or Lightning McQueen. Those were quickly followed by any book that had anything to do with trucks. Now they are fire fighter books, Stinky the Garbage Truck or fun rhyming books. These are the books my kids love to read. They read them to themselves and I read them to them. Their teachers read to them daily and their grandparents read to them when we vist.

My boys have discovered the joy of reading and I am grateful. They often ask me to buy new books in the bookstore and we occassionally go to the library where we sit and read together before taking some books home. That is where we were two nights ago. We read three books at the library, put on a puppet show and picked out two DVDs to take home and watch later. I buy books monthly from the Scholastic order at their day care. Santa and the Easter Bunny bring books when they visit. My kids can already tell you that hard cover books are expensive so if you hope to get me to buy a book make sure it is paperback.

Yet I saw an editorial in the paper about the number of children who are read to on a regular basis in this country. It was shocking and incredibly sad. Over half of all American children are not read to on a regular basis and many children do not even own a book. Reading is the key to a child's educational success. Without reading, all other subjects become even more difficult. Books open up worlds for children and adults to explore together. Full of new words that expand vocabulary and new sounds to hear are stories that inspire the imagination. Not to mention a great way to bond with your children.

The writer was asking everyone with children to wrap a book and leave it on the end of their child's bed Christmas morning. I won't be doing that but my children will be receiving two new books. Santa brings them every year. I hope Santa or another adult brings the children in your lives books this Christmas as well.

The Results Are In

2010-12-06T07:48:00.003-06:00

Jacob and M picked out their holiday ornaments last night. M got a blue Nascar and Jacob picked out an American flag. Jacob stated he wanted the flag, "so I can honor America this Chirstmas." M got the car because, well, he loves cars and blue is his favorite color.

Family Traditions

2010-12-05T08:47:00.002-06:00

Family traditions are a great way to help everyone feel connected and an important member of the family. It gives a chance to spend time together doing something fun and enjoyable that will hopefully last for years to come. While our family doesn't have a lot of traditions we follow during the year due to our ever changing schedules (I work a rotating shift with different days off every week and am attending graduate school). We do have several that are associated with Christmas. Here is a list of our family's traditions. Please feel free to leave a comment with things your family enjoys doing. I am still looking for more holiday activities with my kids.

1) Chocolate advent calendar. Every day (usually in the morning) the kids get to open one door on their advent calendar and find a piece of chocolate. We are counting down the days until Christmas. In case you are curious, we are at 20 days now.

2) Sending holiday cards. Okay. I try really hard to get them out early but it rarely happens. I even sometimes send them after Christmas but I do always send them.

3) A new Christmas ornament. Every year the kids each get to pick out one special Christmas ornament. We haven't bought ours for this year but will this week. I really like this tradition because it gives me a rememberance of what the kids were like and interested in at this time every year. For instance, 2 years ago Jacob discovered the wonder of Santa Claus and picked out a Santa ornament. Last year he was all about Disney Pixar's Cars movie and got a Cars ornament. I will try to remember to tell everyone what the kids pick out this year.

4) Christmas cookies. We are going to alter this one a little this year (I think). We will bake a few extra cookies and take them to neighbors who have been extra kind to us in the past year. This year they will probably go to our neighbors Kris and Sylvia.

5) Christmas lights. We drive through the city Christmas light display every year. I usually take our friend, P, with us. She lives near the light display and it's a fun way to end our evening together.

This year I am also hoping to make popcorn balls with the kids. I'm not sure how well it will turn out. If it turns out well, this may also become a holiday tradition.

Christmas Activity Ideas

2010-12-04T08:27:00.002-06:00

Anyone got some great ideas to do with young children during the holidays? I have a few ideas but want to think of some others. The kids are both old enough to really enjoy the activities and I would love to do some with P also. Here is the list of possiblities so far:

-Christmas cookies
-Making Grandpa's christmas present (since Grandma reads this blog I'm keeping it a secret for now).
-Train show at the local gardens.
-Setting up the Christmas tree (already done but was fun so I'm including it in the list anyway).

Anyone else got some great ideas? They can be things I can do with just one of the boys or together. Just a reminder in case you aren't a regular follower. The boys are 3 and 5 years old.

Christmas Programs and Santa

2010-12-04T07:49:00.003-06:00

It seems really early to me but maybe that is just because life has been beyond crazy the past couple of weeks. The Christmas season is here and the programs have started already. Jacob and M both sang in their preschool program yesterday and were very cute. M sang about the Christmas star and walked around with a flashlight. Jacob was an angel and say An Angel We Have Heard On High. I couldn't fine my camera and didn't want to be late so I snapped a couple of photos with my cellphone. They didn't turn out well so I won't post them here but I figure fuzzy pictures are better than no pictures. It was fun to watch them and compare them to the younger kids. They have grown a lot in the past year.

After the Christmas program, I took the kids and our friend P to the mall to visit Santa. Of course, both boys asked for expensive and large toys and Santa agreed to give them to him (thanks a lot Santa). We went to a Toys R Us outlet store in the mall and the boys decided they would rather have different toys (and less expensive) so we trudged back down to see Santa again. There wasn't a line so I let the boys tell Santa they had changed their minds and now wanted the cheaper toys. I guess we will have to wait and see what Santa is able to bring them. I heard his helper will be working on their gifts next week.

I also went to Kohl's before the school program while the kids were still at day care. The school program didn't start until an hour and a half after I got off work so it was the perfect time to sneak out and do a little shopping. Kohls department store had a great sale yesterday. I had received a $10 off any $10 purchase and a card for an extra 15% off plus they had a great sale in general so I decided to do a little shopping. I have been told that on Genna (Ethiopian Christmas) children whose parents can afford it will get one new outfit that day. I like to try to keep a little Ethioipian culture in our home and this is one easy way to do it. Kohl's sale was a great way to get that outfit out of the way as well as a finding a great deal on a present for Uncle Chuck (which I will keep secret in case he reads this).

So Christmas is finally coming. We put up the Christmas tree on Wednesday, have begun shopping, had the school performance, visited Santa and started our chocolate Advent calendars. It snowed for the first time this year last night and the ground is now a beautiful white. The boys are ready for Christmas and want it to come today. I am not even near ready and believe another three weeks is just fine with me.

Unexpected Day Off

2010-11-27T13:24:00.002-06:00

Today has started off a little rough but I am at home watching college football and hoping to see a Wisconsin trip to the rose bowl. I have temporarily become a Penn State fan hoping that they can knock off Michigan State but since this isn't a journal about football I'll just leave it there.

I was woken this morning by the sound of a text message coming in. I knew immediately that text messages at 4:40 could not be good. It wasn't. The babysitter's son is sick and she can't watch my kids. Now for some people that wouldn't be a big deal but in my job it is huge. My parents are out of the country, my brother has already gone home for the weekend and my job does not see a babysitter cancelling as a valid excuse for not going to work. While I understand their point, I also know that someone needs to watch my kids and if my normal sitter and back-ups are not available, I really am not left with much choice. I called work and thankfully was able to sweet talk them into giving me the day off so now I will see what kind of fall out there is when I return.

I took the boys to see a shadow puppetry show at the Overture Center. It was a lot of fun and I actually learned quite a bit. I have never seen shadow puppetry before and it was very interesting. The kids enjoyed it and did really well paying attention. Jacob was disappointed that he wasnt chosen to help with the puppets but that was really the only issue we had.

I am now at home watching football while the kids rest and take naps. We will probably go to church this evening. I have to decide if I am able to take tomorrow off work if I want to write a report at home or go in for a couple hours Monday and get it done. I will probably go in Monday morning so I don't have to try to get all of the information at home. Either way I am concentrating on how blessed I am to have a job to worry about and children to care for. Even if the balancing act seems impossible today.

What We Are Thankful For

2010-11-25T08:48:00.004-06:00

It is Thanksgiving. A day to reflect on all of the blessings in our lives. The kids and I talked about what we are most thankful for last night. Here are their answers.

M: Fire trucks, ambulances and police cars.

Jacob: Doctors.

I could list all of the things I am thankful for but the list would be endless. After travelling to countries where people don't have clean drinking water, access to schools and medical care and where 25 percent of children die before their 4th birhday, I don't take anything for granted anymore. I also am much better at prioritizing what is important so here are my top things I am thankful for this year.

1) My 2 beautiful sons. Jacob has been here for 3.5 years now and M has been here for just over 2 years. They brighten my every day and make life worth living. I can't begin to express the joy these two precious children bring to me. They make me laugh and cry and I wouldn't have it any other way.

2) The love of my family and friends. It really is the relationships we build that are most important.

3) Our health. There is not a day that goes by that I don't look at my family and thank God we are all healthy. I know that could change in the blink of an eye and will never take it for granted.

4) Schools and education. We experienced some day care problems and had some not-so-good teachers and day care directors and some absolutely awesome teachers. I am so grateful that we have great teachers right now who love the kids and their jobs and do their best every day. I am also very grateful to live in a country where my children are guaranteed an education and most people can attend college if they choose to (even if they have to take loans or go part-time).

5) Our pets. We lost one cat earlier this year and another one isn't going to live much longer. We will miss both of them but know that they have blessed us while they were here.

6)A healthy and safe home. That includes safe water, house and neighborhood.

7) Enough food to fill us every day and never having to worry about where our next meal will come from.

8) A working van to get us to all the places we want to go.

9) Time with my family. I often don't think I have enough of it but I am grateful for the time we do spend together.

10) Great doctors and medical care. I am so grateful that I life in a country where people come from all over the world to see our doctors and use our hospitals. We may grumble over the cost but we are privileged to be able to do that. So many people in the world don't ever see a doctor and die of preventable illnesses. We are truly blessed to have such great care.

Thanksgiving Cooking Rules By M

2010-11-25T08:41:00.000-06:00

I am working today and Uncle Chuck is watching the boys. I reminded M to be good this morning and help Uncle Chuck cook. M replied he would but then followed that with some rules. Here they are:

1) Jacob and I can't put hot things in the oven. We would burn our hands.

2) Only Grandpa, Mom and Uncle Chuck can put things in the oven.

3) Grandma can't use the oven because she might hurt her hands. She's a grown-up but she still can't use the oven.

Grandma and Grandpa are in Egypt and Jordan this week so they aren't going to be cooking. I will make sure Grandma knows the rule about using the oven when she returns. She will be happy to know that she doesn't have to cook.

DREAM Act Update

2010-11-24T08:41:00.000-06:00

According to a radio talk show I heard yesterday, it appears the DREAM Act may be coming up for a vote soon. Let's make sure this passes. Here are the key things to remember about the DREAM Act.

1) The Dream Act will only affect those adults who immigrated here illegally as young children and graduated from US high schools. It is not an automatic pass. They must have attended and graduated high school to get a conditional pass.

2) The applicants for the Dream Act must complete two years of college or military service.

3) They must not be involved in criminal behavior.

4) Immigration currently checks documents very carefully to make sure they are authentic and people receving visas meet the criteria. I have no reason to believe the same won't be true for young adults filing for conditional or permanent residency under the Dream Act. They will need to show high school and college transcripts, be subject to criminal background checks and show evidence that they resided here before they were 16 years old. I don't know the specifics on how residency will need to be proved but my guess is that it will be by school records, medical records or other similar reliable records. Not just someone showing up at immigration and claiming to have lived here for years.

5) These young adults were raised here and speak English. They know the culture and were raised in American communities with American values.

I urge everyone to contact their US Senator or Representative. For those of you in Wisconsin, Sen. Kohl told me he is on the committee that currently has the Senate version of the bill. Let's flood his office with calls urging him to move it to the Senate floor for a vote.

Weekend Update

2010-11-21T21:30:00.002-06:00

It has been a busy and fun weekend. I was off both Saturday and Sunday which is always a special treat. It means I actually get to spend two full days with my kids and don't have to take anyone to school or day care. I am always grateful for these days and hopeful that I will get more of them soon. Here is a quick review of the major things we did.

Saturday:

-We started the day by just laying around the house and relaxing. The boys woke up around 5:30 which is normal but then watched cartoons until about 8. At 8:30, I made pancakes and started to get everyone ready for the day. Much more relaxing than our normal 45 minute dash for the front door at 6 AM.

- We went to Target with a list of things I was waiting to buy. I cashed out some unused vacation time and had a little extra money on my check. I bought new sleds for the kids (although the temp is suppose to be back up in the 50s next week. This has been a very warm start to the winter). I also bought a DVD player. I bought one last Christmas but it broke shortly after we got it so we have been living without one. I finally decided I better get some gloves and a hat for me since they are predicting light snow at the end of the week. It will be cold for a couple days before it warms up enough to melt so I will have to shovel if we get much. Otherwise I risk icy driveways and stairs. I also got some new markers, paints and coloring pages to try to keep the kids entertained now that it is getting to cold to go outside all the time.

- Jacob and I set up the DVD player while M took his nap. Jacob loved watching the two new DVDs we bought and learning how to use the new player. M slept for about 3 hours. I slept for about an hour and then played solitaire on the computer and just rested.

-Jacob, M, Uncle Chuck and my parents took me out for my birthday dinner. M kept telling me I was getting a police car. He was so convincing my mom mentioned that she hoped he wouldn't be upset when he saw what he really got me. He wasn't and he remembered. I opened the box and pulled out some earrings. He immediately started laughing and told me that was my police car. Funny kid.

Sunday:

-We went to church. Sunday school has been a struggle lately. I am hoping this is a short phase. The boys' teachers are great but they just feed off each other. I bought a cookbook from the mission group. Jacob tried to give it back to the woman. He stated I didn't need it because I already cook well. What a sweetie. I told him I wanted it to get some new ideas. There are a lot of wonderful and easy recipes in it.

- The boys lost their DVD privileges so I rented a movie I wanted to see. It was nice to just sit down and watch TV. I watched the movie while the kids slept.

- Our friends Jasmine, Brooke and Quanda came over. They are teenagers now. I have known them since they were 5 and 7 years old. It was nice to have them over for dinner and catch up on their lives.

- We took a small turkey over to my parents' house to start to thaw in the fridge. My parents are on a trip to Egypt and Jordan so it will be just the kids, me and my brother. It will be fun but we will all miss my parents while they are gone. This is the second time they have been gone for Thanksgiving and we always miss having them there. Right now I am scheduled to work and my brother will be watching the kids. I am hoping that changes and I can get off work but it probably isn't likely.

-M and I are having our monthly meeting with the social worker tomorrow. Jacob has 4K and I have to take the dog to the vet in the afternoon. Then we are off to Appleton so I can go to class. We are officially back to our crazy and busy schedule tomorrow. It was nice to have the past two days off to just relax, clean and do laundry and just spend time together.

College Student President

2010-11-18T07:44:00.003-06:00

Click the below link to read about Pedro Ramirez. Pedro is the student body president at Fresno State University but also an undocumented immigrant. He was brought to the United States when he was three years old. Think of all of the 3 year olds in our lives. Pedro was not told he was undocumented until he was a teenager. He grew up speaking English, attending US schools and following the American dream. He now must deal with the reality that he is here illegaly and his chances of following his dreams are greatly reduced. Read the article. Then contact your representative in Congress.

http://www.cnn.com/2010/US/11/18/california.student.immigration/index.html

Gosselin Kids

2010-11-16T11:35:00.001-06:00

The breaking news in the entertainment world seems to be Prince William's upcoming wedding and two of the Gosselin kids being expelled from school. While I have absolutely no interest in the royal wedding, I do see some common themes in the Gosselin kids and the average family. Here are some of the important things I think we need to take out of this latest episode.

1) These are kids. They will sometimes act out and may now be acting out as a result of the recent stress and turmoil in their young lives.

2) We don't really know what kind of parenting is going on so we can't judge. We really shouldn't judge even if we did have all the facts but without actually witnessing what goes on when the press isn't around is just unfair.

3) The kids attended a private school. Now, some people will see this as not an important fact. I will say that it is. Private schools can and often are much more selective about who accept and who they dismiss. That needs to be considered when looking at the school's reaction to the kids' behaviors. They may be a very tolerant school but they may also have very strict behavior policies and may kick out many kids every year.

4) Kids are still learning, growing and developing. They may not have the skills necessary to navigate difficult social encounters or to handle strong emotions like adults would like.

5) Schools have confidentiality rules and laws for a reason. Kids privacy needs to be protected. The entire world doesn't need to know the details of what happened. The school, parents and service providers need to help the kids learn but the rest of us don't need to know the details.

I won't get into my personal feelings about how the children are being raised or the choices that their parents make. I will say that I am pleased Kate is choosing not to speak to the media about her children's problems at school and only wish the media would stay out of it. Many of our children will get in trouble at some point in time as they grow. The entire world doesn't need to know about it.

Quiet Moments Are Not Always Good

2010-11-15T08:58:00.004-06:00

I was busy in the kitchen cooking supper. Jacob and M were only slighlty more hyper than normal which meant I was sure they were slightly more inclined to get in trouble than normal. I was cutting potatoes and onions while listening to their giggles and occassional argument. I was trying to remember that they will never learn to solve their disputes if I intervene every time I hear an injustice or the start of an argument. I was begininning to wonder how much damage they would cause before bed and how long I would have to clean. I was thinking about how grateful I was to be at home with them.

Then it got quiet. I heard Jacob quietly state, "M come over here quick. Before Mom comes in." Then all I heard was whispering and stifeled giggles. My mom radar was up and I knew nothing good could come of this. Yet I was in the middle of mixing a sauce for our casserole and didn't want to leave. So I just yelled into the other room.

Me: Are you guys doing something that is going to make me mad if I come in there?
Jacob: Yes.
Me: Then you need to stop.
Jacob: Quick pull Wusha (our dog). See if our leash will work.
Me: Let the dog go and leave him alone.
Jacob: (Giggles) We aren't doing anything.

Ah, young boys. I love their creativity and sense of adventure. I even love when they get quiet leaving me to wonder what they could be up to now.

HOPE

2010-11-14T12:14:00.003-06:00

Hope. It is such a powerful word. I received a phone call last week that gave me hope for our future. As many people know, I applied for a new job last July. I made the initial cuts and was told I was at the top of the list. They filled one position and told me more positions would be coming once the budget was passed. Well, that is where I slowly began to lose hope. There was talk of layoffs and position freezes. It looked like I would have to wait until at least the spring. Then the budget passed, positions were put back in and it appeared there would be permission to begin hiring again soon.

Hope. I had it once again. The phone rang last Thursday and I spoke to some sources within the organization. I have an interview scheduled and there are rumors that more positions will be opening. I now have hope that my days of working almost every weekend and holiday will be coming to an end. Maybe, just maybe, this Thanksgiving will be the last one I spend at work. I have hope.

My hope for a job that meets my family's needs better has led me to think about how important hope is. Imagine all of the times we hope for things. Sometimes those dreams come true and sometimes they don't but we continue to hope. I think about all the hopes I have for my children. I hope they stay healthy and grow up to be happy. I hope they do well in school and can attend a college or university. I hope they realize whatever dreams they have. Whether it be Jacob's dream of becoming "a doctor who takes babies out of mommies tummies" or M's dream of becoming "a police officer and fire fighter."

My children and I are lucky. We are able to hope. With hope comes motivation to work hard and permission to dream. My hope of a career change inspires me to attend graduate school even when I would rather watch TV. My children's hope inspires me to pay for good child care and preschool and be involved in their education. My hope inspires me to pray and ask God to help us realize our dreams.

Not all children are able to hope and dream like my children. Teenagers who were brought to the US as young children illegally are now undocumented immigrants. They are old enough to realize that their hope of attending college and having the career of their dreams is not possible if they cannot get financial aid or are deported. The DREAM Act would make their hopes and dreams possible. It would give them a reason to be motivated even when school and life get tough. A reason to dream and a reason to hope. Contact your US Senator or Representative today and ask them to support the DREAM Act.

I'm Not Tired!

2010-11-12T15:07:00.002-06:00

I'm not tired! That's what Jacob told me 15 minutes before I found him in the toy box.

Big Boy Toys

2010-11-11T07:04:00.004-06:00

Jacob has suddenly started to grow up at an amazing speed. I don't know what happened. It seems like just last month I was carefully deciding which Little People toy to buy him. Now he has begun putting Legos together and is currently leaving preschool toys and getting into toys for older children. It warms my heart but I also miss the little boy he once was.

Laser Treatment

2010-11-10T21:26:00.002-06:00

People often ask me how many laser treatments Jacob has had and how many he has to go. The answer I have is not really what they are looking for. The truth is that I lost track of treatments awhile ago but I think we just finished treatment number 18 or close to it. Jacob received his first treatment shortly after he arrived home in 2007. He has been going about once every two months since then. He will continue to go as long as the doctor believes she is able to make progress and the treatments are working. I have no idea how many that will be but I am guessing it could be a couple more years.

Jacob did great as usual. For those of you who don't know, Jacob was born with a port wine stain on his face. It is a reddish birth mark that is near his right eye. Without treatment, the birth mark would likely get darker as he gets older. It also seems to affect his eye making it appear red. The pink and red in his eye has really decreased since he began receiving treatments. It has been a long time since someone pulled their child away from him and asked if he had pink eye. Now I only have people ask when he is sick or he is upset and his blood pressure rises.

The birth mark itself has also faded with treatments. The birth mark under his eye has pretty much disappeared and the lower part of the birth mark has faded greatly. The upper part is still more visible although it is fading slowly. The doctor was very happy with the progress she saw and she was able to use a much more powerful laser today which should have some good results.

Jacob is a trooper. He claims he isn't even nervous before a treatment but I'm not sure I completely believe him. He loves the nurses and doctors and will walk to the surgery center with them. He holds the mask to his face and lies down quietly until he falls asleep. He is only asleep for about 20 minutes total and they really don't sedate him very deeply. Just enough for him to sleep through the treatment.

I was reminded again today how grateful I am that we have such wonderful doctors and medical care in this country. I am also very grateful that he is healthy and only have to go to the surgery center for minor procedures and nothing life threatening. When I adopted Jacob, I knew there was a small chance he could have a very serious illness called Sturge Weber Syndrome. Thankfully, he does not have it and we are only treating a birth mark. Yet I always remember that I could have been taking him for something much more serious and so I say a prayer of gratitude.

National Adoption Month

2010-11-08T08:46:00.003-06:00

It is national adoption month. A year ago I was silently hoping that I would be able to announce a new addition to our family but it isn't going to happen. Or at least not this month. So instead of intrudicing my son to the world (which I am hoping will happen by this time next year), I will try to answer some question and misperceptions that I hear on a regular basis.

1) Yes. My children are real brothers. If you ever doubt that, just watch them interact. The older loves to get the younger in trouble and the younger wants to do everything the older one does. I am becoming an expert at sibling rivalry. I just wish I was better at dealing with it.

2) A child can have more than two real parents at a time. Everyone thinks of parents as one mom and one dad. The truth is both of my children have two real moms. The moms who gave birth to them and me. We all love these little boys, are about them and pray for them. I am the mother spending every day with them and caring for them but that doesn't mean their first moms don't love them any less. I have told foster and birth parents that children can have more than one mom at at time and it doesn't change the relationship with either of them.

3) You do not have to be biologically related to be family. This kind of goes back to the first two. We are a real family and just as valuable and unique as any other family.

4) Not all adults who choose to adopt dealt with infertility. While it is true that some adults adopt after dealing with fertility problems, not all of them do. I chose to adopt without ever trying to have a child biologically. Adoption was right for me and it is right for a lot of famiiles.

5) God didn't plan for my children's birth families to be unable to care for them. He just matched us up when their families couldn't care for them. I don't know why some parents are better able to care for their children than others. It's not my job to question it. I just know that God sent my children to me to be my children and that it was a match made in heaven.

6) As my 3 year old said yesterday, you can't choose who your family is. Only God gets to decide that. I didn't "choose" my children. God led me to my children. I just followed his calling.

7) Not all foster children, internationally adopted or children adopted at older ages have serious behavioral challenges. Yes, abuse and neglect and institutional care can cause children to develop behavior problems but the extent and duration of those problems vary from one child to another. Many do not qualify as having behavorial distrubances or mental illnesss. They are just children who have learned certain behaviors as survival skills. As time goes on, they learn new behaviors and can let the old ones that cause problems in their safe homes go away. Most of these kids are just kids and most will never have a "diagnosis."

8) Adoption is not for everyone. While I would love for all children seeking new families to be able to find them, I realize that adoption is not for everyone. While I do truly believe that our children quickly become just our kids no matter how they come to us, some people can never be comfortable knowing a child has another family out there. Other people are unable to get past their own issues regarding race and diversity to parent a child who does not look like them. That is okay. I know that as much as I wish I could eradicate the world of racism and discrimination, I can't. I just ask those people to keep their opinions to themselves and not adopt or foster children who do not look like them.

9) Many children need loving homes. Being a foster parent means parenting for and with another parent while waiting for the courts to decide if the child will be returned. Most children are reunited with their families which is wonderful. For those children who can't go home, they often find new families with their foster families. To be a foster parent you just need to be willing to love a child unconditionally for however long they are with you and be willing to work with and accept the birth family. It's not an easy job but it is very rewarding.

10) Our family is just like every other family 99% of the time. We have our good days and our bad days. We have people who love us and support us. We turn to our friends and family when we need help and we love each other unconditionally. We wake up in the morning, have the same mad dash out the door every other family has and miss each other while we attend work and school. We gather together for an evening meal, are busy with sports, swimming, church and other activities and end the day with a bedtime story and lots of hugs and kisses. Just like any other family. We came together through many miracles and are a family just like any other.

I once saw a quote that went something like this. Child birth is an act of nature. Adoption is an act of God.

Miniature Golf

2010-11-06T08:15:00.002-05:00

I took Jacob and our friend, P, miniature golfing last night. I was bummed when I realized I forgot my camera and my cell phone so there are no picutres. Neither of the kids had ever been miniature golfing or had a clue what to do. I think that actually made it more fun. No one was a lot more skilled even though the Jacob is 5 and P is 9.

We got our balls and clubs and I spent a moment teaching the kids the rules of the game. I then showed them each how to stand and hold the golf club so that they could putt the ball. Of course Jacob immediately lifted his club up like he was hitting a long drive and sent the ball sailing through the air (not bad for never hitting a ball before but bad for miniature golf). Jacob went off chasing his ball that was now bouncing all over the course and I got P started. The kids forgot the whole taking turns thing and just started hitting the ball until they finally got it in the hole.

I moved us to hole 2 and reminded the kids that we were taking turns and to putt the ball not hit it as hard as they could. I showed Jacob (again) how to hit the ball as a putt and the importance of not hitting it too hard. He nodded his head and the kids were off again. Not taking turns but having fun putting and not hitting drives.

We moved on to the third whole and I again tried to teach the kids about waiting for your turn and scoring. Again they just got too excited. I realized that I was the only one counting putts or even caring what the score was so I put the score card away and decided it was time to just have fun. I still tried to get the kids to take turns somewhat so that they wouldn't run into each other but I wasn't really strict. As long as they weren't right on top of each other, I let them just have fun.

We played about half the course and then got to the remote controlled boats. This was the end of golfing for us. It was a lot of fun to try to steer the big boats around the water. P and I kept getting our boats stuck but Jacob was a pro. He was able to get his boat to go where ever he wanted and even backed it into the "piers."

We finished the night with muffins, cookies and slushies. I am so grateful Jacob's friend, Lela, gave him the gift certificate for his birthday. We probably wouldn't have gone otherwise and the kids had a great time.

Give Thanks. Give Hope.

2010-11-05T08:38:00.003-05:00

I am having trouble getting the link for the St. Jude's walk to work on here. Please read my previous post and then sponsor us if you are able. My children and I will be walking together November 20. You may need to copy and paste the address into your browser.

https://waystohelp.stjude.org/sjVPortal/public/displayUserPage.do?userId=573118&programId=601&eventId=110419

Thankful For Healthy Kids and St. Jude's

2010-11-05T08:21:00.004-05:00

I am reminded every two to three months how lucky I am to have healthy children. Every two to three months is when Jacob goes to the Madison Surgery Center to have a laser treatment to his port wine stain (birth mark). Jacob and I arrive about 45 minutes to prepare. We spend most of that time playing and teasing the nurses that walk by the room. After the nurses, doctor and anesthesiologist finish their visits with us, it is time for me to say good bye. I usually have to remind Jacob that he has to give me a hug and kiss before he leaves. He takes the nurses hand and with a brave smile begins the walk down the hallway to the operating room. He normally doesn't even look back but I can't stop watching him until he goes through the doors. The nurses tell me he gets to the room, picks out his toy and then climbs on the table. He takes the gas mask from the nurse and holds it to his nose, breathing in the root beer flavored gas until he falls asleep.

Jacob has become a pro at anesthesia and surgery. I always have a mix of emotions. Proud that he is so brave and goes back so nicely but also sad. You see, he may not worry but I worry every time he goes back there. What if this is the time something bad happens?

As I wait for the pager to buzz signaling that the doctor is ready to see me and the procedure is finished, I think. I think about how lucky I am that my son is there for a non-life threatening illness. I think about the parents who have to watch their children go down similar hallways and not know if their child will come back out. I think about those parents praying that their child's procedure will not just help with a birthmark but will save their child's life. And so I pray for those children and those families while I wait for my child.

On Saturday November 20, 2010, I will be walking with many other people to support St. Jude's Research Hospital. It is a hospital dedicated to treating childhood cancer and other life threatening illnesses. Research is expensive and many of the children they treat are praying for miracles. St. Jude's doesn't turn children away because they lack insurance or the ability to pay. They treat the child and work towards finding cures. It's just what they do. Every day miracles and they need our help to continue the fight.

I invite you to visit my page on the St. Jude's website. The link is below. You can provide a secure donation on-line. My children and I will be walking to say thanks for the healthy children in our lives and to say thanks for many miracles God provides through the doctors, nurses and staff at St. Jude's. Won't you say thanks with us by sponsoring us?

Here is the link:
https://waystohelp.stjude.org/sjVPortal/public/displayUserPage.do?userId=573118&programId=601&eventId=110419

Gross But Lucky

2010-11-04T11:06:00.003-05:00

I walked downstairs yesterday to find my sewer drain had backed up again. This tends to happen about every two years. This year seemed to be a little earlier and I admit I was suppose to have preventative maintenance done last summer but forgot. As I walked downstairs, I silently hoped that I wouldn't find my carpets soaked or my boxes ruined. I was pleasently surprised to find that only one box of books (that should have been thrown away a long time ago) was ruined and the carpet was still dry.

I woke up early this morning and called the rooter company. They agreed to come out this morning so I took the boys to day care and began cleaning the mess in the basement. I had laundry on the floor that had gotten a little wet and of course there was dirt and debris that needed to be cleaned. The odor wasn't pleasant so I found a new air freshner and began cleaning up the floor. The worst to clean was the wet cat litter that had been kicked out of the litter box before the flood hit. In all it only took about 45 minutes to clean which is far better than last time. Two years ago I didn't find the mess until I had given two baths to the boys, started the dishwasher and was running the washing machine. I went downstairs to move the wash when I found water everywhere. That year it did hit the carpet as well as most of the boxes on the floor and a variety of other things. That mess took several hours to clean (mostly drying carpets and shampooing them). This year I was lucky. Next time maybe I will remember to call for preventive maintenance and avoid the whole thing.

Bouncing

2010-11-02T20:44:00.002-05:00

I went on a field trip to a local bouncing facility with inflatibles. It was a blast. All of the kids had a great time and I spent a lot of time jumping and chasing small children. I am definitely not use to bouncing and running like that and can already feel my muscles tightening. I am going to be sore tomorrow and it will be worth it. The kids and I had a great time. I didn't take my camera but we all left happy and very tired. They boys stayed at school for lunch and naps. I stopped and voted and then went home for a 2 hour nap. It really was a great day.

A Day Of Surprises

2010-11-01T08:48:00.004-05:00

Life at our house has been crazy lately but thankfully the trees in our yard have been cooperating. Or at least until the wind storms last week. The leaves all came off and my hard was covered. I planned to spend a day raking and mulching this week.

Yesterday I came home from church to find the leaves in my yard gone and two large piles by the street. My first thought was that my dad had come over but he normally mulches and I had seen him at 10. He had mentioned going to the Y to workout and nothing about working at my house or his. Then I noticed that the neighbors yard was also freshly raked. I asked her if she had noticed who raked my yard but all she would say was that it was the "leaf fairy." Well, I still wasn't one hundred percent sure it was her so I asked the neighbor across the street. She confirmed that my next door neighbor was the "leaf fairy." I guess I will be repaying her by snow blowing her drivway later this winter. Of course I'll call it the "snow fairy."

Jacob and M were also in for a special treat. They had soccer games early yesterday and I was in a rush to get their gear and get to the game after lunch. As we were racing to the car, our neighbor, Maxine, came outside. She stated she had a treat for the kids and to wait a minute. She returned a minute later with a card for each of the boys. Inside the card were $2 bills. My kids happily told Grandpa that they got "dollars" for Halloween.

Overall Halloween went well. M didn't really like trick-or-treating. He was tired and cold and only wanted to go to a couple of houses. Jacob and I went to about 12 houses total. I was willing to keep going but he was ready to go help handout candy. His friend from school stopped by and the kids had fun seeing each other and learning that we all live pretty close to each other. We still have plenty of candy from trick-or-treating at the zoo and now have a little variety to go with it.

Overall, it was a very good day and Halloween. I am looking forward to all of the activities this month and next. Halloween is just the start of fun things to come.

3 Days To Go

2010-10-30T10:49:00.004-05:00

3 day to go until election day! Make sure you vote! Think about the issues and the past history. Not just the past two years but the past 10 years. As a society we are very quick to blame people in need of help rather than look at our responsibilty as a society to help each other out. We have very short-term memories and fail to see beyond today. We like to blame victims rather than look at the problems within the system. Sometimes it is easier to believe that we are all secure and nothing bad will ever happen but the truth is life can change in an instant.

How would the candidate you support react to people who find themselves in poverty because of unexpected illness or job loss or just because they are going to school and struggling to pay tuition and their bills? Would he/she see it as his/her own responsibility and have little compassion or would they be willing to support policies and programs to help the person get back on his/her feet and move forward. If the candidate you support cannot seem to answer questions honestly or only thinks about big buisness interests and millionaires but not about the middle class or how to help people struggling today, think twice about your vote. I know who I am voting for and I trust my readers will think beyond the rhetoric and make the right choice. For those of you in Wisconsin, I stronly urge you to think twice before voting for a millionaire who doesn't even know what it is like to work on the line in his own factory much less be willing to discuss his plans for once he is elected.

Glasses Update

2010-10-29T09:56:00.002-05:00

After only 24 hours with his glasses, Jacob is still doing great. His teacher said he wore them all day yesterday without any complaints. He is allowed to take them off when he goes outside or plays sports so I told him he must give them to his teacher at that time. Jacob's teacher reported that he was careful to put them in his case at recess and wanted to put them in his case at nap but the case wasn't in the room at that time. She convinced him that I would not be mad if he just left them on the counter where they would be safe. His teacher also stated that Jacob cleaned them often throughout the day. She even had to tell him to stop cleaning them at one point so that he could finish his work. Apparently, he likes them very clean.

Today is day 2 and I am sure some of the newness is beginning to wear off. I am still proud that he is being very careful with them and making sure he doesn't just set them on the ground and walk away. He seems to like them for the most part. His eyes are still adjusting so he finds them watering or itching from time to time but the doctor states that is normal. His left eye needs to learn to relax as his right eye begins to work harder again. It should feel more normal to him in the next few days.

Half Over

2010-10-29T08:49:00.002-05:00

It is official. The school semester is half over. After going to school full-time, working full-time, and completing an internship, this semester is far less stressful. The problem is that since it's not as stressful, I am having trouble staying motivated to do the work. I don't have to work constantly to keep up so I find myself stalling and thinking I'll just do it later. Instead, I am sitting in my room the night before a major assignment is due trying to pound it out and still have it an A.

Even with my lack of motivation, I am really glad I chose to go part-time this year. I get to see my kids more and even have somewhat of a social life. I didn't want to really go out with friends and without my kids last year since I had so little free time. This year I am really enjoying hiring a sitter and going out occassionally. Who knows? Maybe I'll even start dating again. What I do know is that I am a much better mom when I have time with my kids but also have time to hire a sitter and just soicalize with other adults (and no kids) occassionally.

This school year has been going much better than last and hopefully will continue to go well. Going part-time pushed my graduation back a year to August, 2012 but that is fine. After all, it is only one more year.

Jacob's New Glasses

2010-10-27T21:28:00.003-05:00

Jacob got his first pair of glasses today! There is another pair on order. Doesn't he look handsome?

Good Jacob's In California

2010-10-27T12:38:00.002-05:00

Jacob has been an incredibly easy kid to parent. But like all kids, he has his challenging days. After a couple of more challenging days I had the following conversation with him.

M: Do you know where my good Jacob went?

J: He's in California.

M: What's he doing in California?

J: He's visiting his grandma.

M: I thought his grandma lived here?

J: No. She moved to California. He took a plane there.

M: Well, I hope he comes back soon. I miss him.

J: He won't. He's on a jet place but it's a really slow plane. He won't be back until after Christmas maybe next summer.

M: That's too bad. I really miss him.

All I Want For Christmas

2010-10-27T12:02:00.002-05:00

Jacob and I were watching TV the other night when an add for a toy came on. I asked Jacob what he wants Santa to bring him this year. He stated, "Something for Ms. Jessie." I asked him if he wanted something for himself. He stated, "No. Just something for Ms. Jessie." That teacher has quite the spell on my kid. I love it.

Halloween Has Begun

2010-10-24T15:00:00.001-05:00

Halloween 2010 has begun. We attended a party at the YMCA on Friday evening and then went trick-or-treating at the zoo today. It was raining pretty hard this morning and we got to the zoo as soon as the radar screen showed the rain had moved out of the area. It was clear that the crowds would not be quite as big this year though so some of the tents were handing out full handfuls of candy. At the end, Jacob handed me his bag complaining it was too heavy to carry. I carried his and M's and admit my arm was tired by the time we got to the car. Jacob also won Most Realistic Costume award Friday night. You be the judge. He's a pilot.

So Alike We Must Be Related

2010-10-23T11:13:00.003-05:00

I am off moved when I think about how much Jacob fits into our family. Granted he has been home for 3.5 years but the similarities between us are uncanny. So many traits that even a doctor mentioned he knows it can't all be enviornmental. Here are some of the ways we are alike:

- Bad teeth. I realize some of Jacob's cavities are from prenatal malnutrition but the overbite and braces in his future? I had some type of device from age 9 to 19. Jacob goes to the same dentist I did as a kid. About six months ago Dr. W stated he can definitely see my genetics in Jacob's teeth. I politely reminded him that Jacob was adopted.
- Bad eyes. I have had glasses or contacts since 4th grade. Jacob is a little ahead of me but getting his first pair sometime next week.
- Love of baseball. Okay. This one may be enviornmental :)
- Size. My mom noticed that at 2.5 years old, Jacob was the exact same height and weight my brother and I were at that age. 2 years later and he gets the same "petite" comments I remember getting. My brother is now 5'9" and I am 5'6" so Jacob will probably be somewhere in there also.
- Personality. People commented at the guest house in Ethiopia that my son was sarcastic and liked to tease. That was just a day after meeting him. He had only been with me for about 3 hours total so I had little influence on that one. His nannies said they would miss his smile. The one he gave whenever he was doing something he knew he shouldn't. He already had the S sense of humor and he was only 17 months. My mom groaned right there.
- Jacob and I both love pink but will settle for red when pink isn't available. For both of us, the more light pink the better. Only I try to convince people it is salmon :)
- Jacob's birthday is 2 days after my grandmother's.
-Jacob acts so much like my brother did at that age and is so similar that I catch myself and my dad calling him Chuck. Of course, I also call him M but that's just because I don't always look to see who I am yelling at :)

I know these similarities are more than just enviornmental. I also know that the similarities are only part of what makes him my son. I don't share all of these traits with M but he is also my son. It is the bond and love that makes us a family. I just really enjoy finding more ways we are alike all the time. And I do have similarities with M but they are definitely more enviornmental than anything else.

Did You Know...

2010-10-22T14:11:00.003-05:00

- 5000 children a year are expelled in the US from state-financed preschools every year.
- Some for-profit schools eject children at twice the rate as public preschools
- There are almost 3 times as many children expelled from day cares and preschools each year as from elementary, middle and high schools

These statistics were all taken from USA Today articles and speak of the very scary reality that our children are suffering in our day cares. We need day care and preschool teachers who are trained in understanding child development, recognizing potential problem behaviors early, dealing with children's behaviors and understanding that positive reinforcement is always better than negative reinforcement. It should not be so easy for day cares to expel children just because they don't fit the norm or are more difficult to deal with than other children (but not violent). My children are lucky in that their current classroom teachers are very good but so many children are not that lucky.

Reference:
Della Cava, M. (2005, Sept. 21). Out-of-line preschoolers face expulsion. USA Today.

Fearing The Worst...

2010-10-21T07:54:00.007-05:00

Jacob has a port wine stain on his face. One of the side effects from it is that he is at an increased risk of glaucoma. Every 6-12 months we see a pediatric eye specialist to make sure his pressures are normal and there are no signs of nerve damage. As Jacob has gotten older, the risks of major problems from the port wine stain and the risk of glaucoma have gotten smaller. To the point that while he still needs to be checked regularly, the chances are very slim he will develop it.

We got to the clinic early and I was expecting a normal exam. Then I noticed Jacob was having trouble seeing some of the letters on the eye chart and only wanted to use one eye. The tech took his readings and began asking questions about the last time he had his pressures checked and if we had them checked under anesthesia. I began thinking about Jacob's eye watering lately when he entered certain department stores and just assumed it was an allergy. But was it really? I began to get nervous. The tech told us to go to the game room and play for about 40 minutes while the drops dilated his eyes. Then we would see Dr. G.

True to their words, almost exactly 40 minutes later we were taken to an exam room. We were told to wait there and Dr. G and his student would be in soon. A few minutes later, I heard Dr. G. talking in the hallway. I heard him explaining what a port wine stain is and the things they are watching for. He began talking about glaucoma, nerve damage and pressure readings. Now I was really getting nervous. Was he just teaching (like I have heard him do before) or was there really a problem. I love going to the university system for medical care because I learn a lot listening to the doctors talk to students but sometimes it is a little scary.

Dr. G introduced his student and stated he was a little concerned about what the tech had seen when he checked Jacob earlier that morning. Uh, oh. Now the warning bells are beginning to sound. I say a little prayer and then ask the doctor if he would be willing to recheck Jacob's pressures. I had remembered him telling me a couple years ago that if Jacob was crying or upset it could artificially raise the pressures. Jacob had been resisting the pressure reading and was scared so maybe that was the cause.

Dr. G looked at me surprised and stated, "Why? His pressures are perfect?" Now it was my turn to look confused and surprised. Dr. G explained that 15 is average but anything between 10 and 21 is normal. Jacob was 14 in one eye and 15 in another. I let out a little sigh but was still concerned. So what are you worried about?

Dr. G began explaining that Jacob is slightly nearsighted in one eye and slightly farsighted in the other resulting in him learning to only use one eye. Oh, that. Yeah, I noticed he didn't like using his right eye on the eye test. Dr. G stated if both eyes were the same, he wouldn't consider glasses because technically he sees well enough. He is just concerned that only using one eye may lead to further problems down the road.

Dr. G begins explaining how glasses aren't all that bad, he only has to use them for certain activities but he can wear them all the time, etc. He tells me not to worry that it is not related to a very scary medical diagnosis of Struge Weber and that my baby will be fine. I'm only half listening to all of this. I can't get over the relief that it is only glasses, he may not need them forever and mostly- he doesn't have glaucoma! I make him tell me again that he doesn't have glaucoma. Dr. G smiles, tells me not to worry and states only a very small number of children without Sturge Weber (which he assures me again Jacob does not and will not have) develop glaucoma after age 4. Jacob is 5 now. This is one relieved and happy mama. Oh, and I found a good deal on 2 pairs of glasses. He will get them next week.

Time To Exercise

2010-10-19T13:53:00.002-05:00

So I have decided it is time that I start trying to find time to exercise. This is a very difficult feat. The kids and I always have somewhere to go and on nights where it is quiet I am trying to catch up on homework. I have been watching my kids swim the past few weeks and there is a lap lane that usually has plenty of room for another swimmer. I think it is time that I become that swimmer.

My only question is whether I should swim while the boys do or before. I could swim before their lessons and let them play in the child watch area. They enjoy spending time in there. I could also swim while they have lessons which would require less time but also could be a distraction to the kids. I am thinking that the boys would get tired of watching me after a couple minutes since swimming by themselves is far more exciting but it is still a concern.

They have a lesson tonight and I am trying to decide what to do. I still have a few hours to decide and if whatever I try doesn't seem to work, I can always do something different next week. One of the nice thing about having both boys in lessons at the same time is that I have 30 minutes to myself to swim, relax or maybe even lift weights.

Is The Dream Act Amnesty?

2010-10-17T13:36:00.003-05:00

Many people are against amnesty for undocumented immigrants. I'm not really sure how I feel about amnesty for those already living in this country who are law abiding. Especially for those who have found a way to make a postive impact on their communities. Adults who choose to travel to America illegally and undocumented place their lives and their family's lives in jeopardy. It is a dangerous journey and one that has no guarantees. There are people who spend many years waiting for the chance to move the America legally and providing amnesty allows people to jump ahead in line. Yet, undocumented adult immigrants made the journey because they saw it as their best hope. Faced with a life of struggle to eat and meet basic needs, they chase the same American dream American children are taught in schools every day. The debate on amnesty will continue long after immigration reform is accomplished yet I would argue that The Dream Act is not amnesty.

Some people may wonder how giving a free residency card and potentially citizenship to undocumented immigrants under The Dream Act is not amnesty. While it is true that it has some of the same characteristics as amnesty, it is not a free pass to citizenship or permanent legal residency. Let me explain why I don't consider it amnesty.

- Amnesty is basically forgiveness for people who knowlingly broke the law. People who would benefit from The Dream Act were children when they entered the United States and were not able to decide for themselves where they wanted to live. They were not old enough to fully understand the consequences of their actions and many did not have the ability to decide but merely followed their parents' instructions.

- It's not a free handout. In order for a person to qualify for The Dream Act they must graduate from a US high school. They must then serve 2 years in our military serving our country or complete 2 years of college. This is a lot of service and definitely not free.

- It's not open to just any undocumented immigrant. Even if the person entered as a minor and graduate high school, it's still not guaranteed that they will be able to become documented. They must be of good character. Basically, they cannot commit crimes and must show that they are a benefit to society and not a drain on society.

The Dream Act isn't about granting amnest to undocumented immigrants. It's about giving hope to a generation of children who did not choose to be undocumented but are forced to live with the effects. It's about giving children an incentive to graduate from high school and succeed in college or the military so they can support themselves and their families without struggling at minimum wage (or below minimum wage) jobs who will pay cash and overlook their immigration status. Allowing all children in this country to pursue their dreams without basing those dreams on their immigration status. Think about if this was a child you knew? A child in your neighborhood, church or child's school? Wouldn't you want the best for them?

Election day is now 17 days away. As you consider the candidates, take a moment to look at the sponsors of The Dream Act. Support those candidates who realize the importance of allowing all children in US schools to dream and dream big. For those of you living in Wisconsin, I urge you to support Senator Russ Feingold. One of the many co-sponsors on The Dream Act.

Church, Values and My Children

2010-10-17T13:21:00.002-05:00

This weekend was consecration Sunday at our church. We actually attend two Methodist churches and visited both this weekend. Why? Because Sunday School was cancelled at one for an all church brunch and becuase I really enjoy the services on Saturday night. The sermon at both churches had to do with money and giving but today's sermon was also about much more. It was about what the church offers to us and why we go.

I admit that it would be easy and enjoyable to sit at home on a Sunday morning and just play legos with the kids. It would be nice to not put our Saturday afternoon and evening plans on hold and skip church. Yet I don't do that (very often). Why is that? What does church give to me that I hope to give to my children? Church is very important to my children's birth families but my reasons for taking them goes way beyond the promises I made to their first families. I made those promises knowing that I planned to insist they attend church and church school anyway. So why is it I insist my children attend religious services and activities? Here is my top 5 list for going to church with them (in no particular order).

5) A chance to see other families and children who view God and their relationship with God as important.

4) To see people living their faith out loud. Putting their words into action by volunteering in their communities, donating money to charities and church, being kind to their neighbors even when we don't agree with each other or really even like each other.

3) Learning respect for our differences. Now I realize that some churches are better at this than others and some members are better than others but as a church we really try to celebrate our differences. Open doors. Open Hearts. Open Minds. That is the slogan the United Methodist Church had a few years ago and one that we try to live out eery day.

2) Developing a stronger relationship with God. Yes, I can read the bible to my children and talk about God at home but there is something different about praying at church and hearing scripture with others.

1) To hear other people's opinions and interpretations of God's laws than my own. While I am sure I am right most of the time (or at least every once in awhile), we all grow when we listen and consider ideas that are different than our own.

5) To join other Christians on a journey of faith. This is important. No matter if the times are good or bad we all are on this journey together. Younger members of the church look to older members for mentors, leaders and wisdom. Older members learn from watching younger members experience life and faith in different ways than they did. Together we all become stronger as Christians and as a church.

So if you have never attended church or are looking for a new church to join, please join us. We may not always agree about the details of our religious beliefs but we will agree in the basics. That God loves each of us, wants the best for us and that together we can grow in faith and love.

A Good Reminder

2010-10-15T21:34:00.003-05:00

I have been under a lot of stress lately. My job has been less than pleasant. While I do not feel free to comment on recent activities there, I will say that I have not been happy there in a very long time. I have spent the past four years considering career changes and the past year working very hard at actually changing one.

My current job is getting very difficult to work now that my children are getting older. Jacob is in 4K this year and I really don't feel comfortable pulling him out of school just to spend time with me. I work about 3 weekends a month so that only leaves evenings and 1 weekend a month that I can devote to him. It's just not enough.

I'm not looking for a job that is strictly Monday through Friday but one that is mostly normal business hours. I don't mind working occasional evening hours even a couple times a week and am fully prepared to find a sitter for the occassional evening. It's the weekends that are hard.

I applied for a job earlier this fall and was told I was at the top of the list. I know that they heard good things and checked my references so I am close to getting a job. Then I didn't hear anything. It's been just over a month and I was beginning to think I was passed over. I was feeling very frustrated and sure that I would never get the job that I want and am working so hard for.

Last night I was reminded that God is watching over us and that He knows more than I do. I need to trust him in the job situation and just be patient.

A friend stopped by the house and told me she had spoken to the supervisor for the job I want so badly. Apparently there are going to be a small number of layoffs in the next two months (mostly through attrition) and so they don't want to hire anyone until they know there is a position available.

Now I am grateful they haven't hired me yet. I really can't afford to transfer and then be laid off right away. I need income and just can't afford to go for very long without one. I also have to have a job when I finally get approval to finish M's adoption. That will probably be happening very soon (fingers crossed and prayers said). So it really is better that I wait to transfer until I know that I won't be laid off right away. Two months really isn't that long to wait. After all, I have been at my current job for over 9 years and a few more months probably won't kill me.

Swimming Lessons

2010-10-15T07:03:00.002-05:00

Swimming lessons are coming to an end. Jacob and M both had a great time. This was M's first time in lessons and he loved them. Jacob has topped out on lessons until he either turns 6 or increases his endurance a little more. He has mastered the skills so he really only needs to get a little stronger. He will probably move up later this year. M showed no fear and has been passed to the second level on his first try! It appears I will soon have 2 fish swimming through the pool and scaring life guards!

I have already signed the boys up for their next session. I really liked their teachers this time. They were a little older than the high school seniors at their last pool and were very experienced. They had 2 teachers assigned to the youngest kids so that the kids got to spend more time practicing and less time just waiting. I am considering swimming laps while they swim next session. It would be good if we all got some good exercise in the pool.

Pictures From The Pumpkin Farm

2010-10-08T14:10:00.001-05:00

Jacob's New Crush

2010-10-08T14:00:00.002-05:00

Jacob has a new crush. I admit I am a little jealous. Every morning he wakes up and asks if his teacher, Miss Jessie, will be at school. If I say no he asks if he can come home at lunch stating he will miss me too much while he is at school. If Miss Jessie is going to be there, he tells me he wants to stay all day. He then gets dressed as quickly as he can.

Yesterday I went with the boys' school on a trip to the pumpkin farm. Jacob asked if Miss Jessie was going and I told him she was. He then stated I could stay with M's class and he would go with Miss Jessie. I dropped him off in his class and told him I would see him on the bus.

M and I got on the bus first. Jacob's class was running a little late so everyone was waiting when they arrived. Jacob got on first and walked over to me. I scooted over and he stated, "Mom, can I sit by Miss Jessie?" I said sure and he ran down the aisle.

We arrived at the farm and Jacob's class decided to go by themselves to look at some different animals where it wasn't so crowded. I saw him again about 20 minutes later and went over to say hi. He immediately told me that he was with Miss Jessie and I needed to go back to M's class. I admit my heart dropped at little at the realization that he preferred his teacher to me. Or at least at that moment.

Jacob also rode the bus back to school with Miss Jessie and then decided he wanted to stay to the end of the day. Now I know that Jacob still wants me around and that deep down he liked having me on the field trip. I caught him running towards me a few times and then looking at Miss Jessie. I also know that he is growing up and Miss Jessie won't be the last person to steal him from me.