I mailed my grant application off today. I have mentioned this grant a couple of times in earlier posts. Basically, it would pay for all of my tuition and fees for one full year of graduate school. I would then need to apply again next year for a second year of grad school. I'm not even sure where to begin to explain how much this grant would help me.
As I mailed it off today, I said a little prayer. Jacob heard me and asked what I was doing. I explained that I was hoping to get money for school and asking God to help me. A couple minutes later, I repeated the prayer (I really need this money). Jacob told me "Don't ask anymore Mom. God will give it to you. He said so." I hope he is right. I also envy his faith.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
school, sports and fun
It has been a very busy week around our house. There has been a lot of activity besides Jacob's family day celebration last weekend.
Friday was the last day of a silent auction at the YMCA. I am a strong supporter of the YMCA. They give scholarships to low income families so that all people can enjoy the programs. The programs and swimming lessons are fairly low cost and give a healthy and safe place for people of all ages to gather and have fun.
I took Jacob, M and our friend P to a carnival at the Y and made our final bids on the baskets. Jacob and P both had their faces painted before playing some games and winning some prizes. They ended the evening by jumping on the inflatables in the gym.
I bid on 4 baskets hoping to win 1. I ended up winning 3 and spending a lot more than I had planned. We ended up getting a new nap pillow, decorations for Jacob and M's room, 3 children DVDs, candy, gift cards for a local restaurant, a free blizzard from Dairy Queen, swimming lessons, a beach towel, a swim bag, goggles and dive toys. To say the kids were excited is an understatement. The nice thing is that we will be able to enjoy all of the items as a family.
On Tuesday, I received confirmation that Jacob will be able to soccer this spring on a local school district team. He will be on a 3v3 league with other 3 and 4 year olds. I found a good deal on cleats, shin guards, socks and a soccer ball Tuesday evening. Jacob really enjoyed getting his first set of soccer equipment and is looking forward to his first game in just over a month.
I registered for softball again this summer. I may not be great at it but I do enjoy it. I hope to spend a lot of time at the batting cages over the next few weeks and try to get ready. I really think the practice will help me get more hits this year.
I also received my grant application in the mail yesterday. I spent a lot of time last night and yesterday afternoon filling it out. I ended up typing over 5 pages to answer their questions. It was a little nerve wracking answering questions that could be worth over $20,000. I think this is my best chance at a scholarship since the university will be handing out a few of them to social work graduate students. I did the best I could and now I just need to wait and see what happens. I should get an answer by the end of April.
Jacob had another dermatology appointment yesterday. His birth mark has faded a lot. It sounds as though we will continue a few more times and then take a break for awhile. The dermatologist doesn't think the mark will ever disappear completely but that we can get it to lighten up a little more. Apparently it is more difficut to get the birth mark to fade on darker skin. Since I think he is beautiful with or without the mark, it isn't a problem. The biggest benefit is that it seems to be putting less pressure on his eye as it has faded. I am hoping that will lower his risk of developing glaucoma in that eye in the future. The average age for glaucoma to form is 4 so the next couple of years should tell us what will happen.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Happy Family Day!
Jacob and I celebrated his second family day yesterday. It has been two years since I took custody of him and he became legally and physically my son. What a two years it has been!
After work yesterday, I took Jacob and M to the grocery store. Jacob picked out cupcakes to share after dinner. We enjoyed a nice dinner with Uncle Chuck, Uncle Chuck's girlfriend Katie, Grandma, Grandpa and M. Jacob got to choose the restaurant and chose Outback Steakhouse. He loves their macaroni and cheese and the bread.
After dinner, everyone returned to my parents' house. We showed (and distributed) the photo montage of Jacob's second year home as well as reviewing his first year home (at his request). Jacob loves watching the montages and was a little disappointed we wouldn't watch it more than one time. We enjoyed the cupcakes and then headed for home. It was a great day to celbrate being a family.
I plan to post his photo motage here either later today or in the next few days. I need to edit it to remove images of the foster children before I post it here. Check back tonight or in the next few days.
I have many feelings and reflections about the past two years I want to share. I hope to do that in the next few days as well. My life (and Jacob's) changed forever two years ago yesterday. I wouldn't change any of it.
After work yesterday, I took Jacob and M to the grocery store. Jacob picked out cupcakes to share after dinner. We enjoyed a nice dinner with Uncle Chuck, Uncle Chuck's girlfriend Katie, Grandma, Grandpa and M. Jacob got to choose the restaurant and chose Outback Steakhouse. He loves their macaroni and cheese and the bread.
After dinner, everyone returned to my parents' house. We showed (and distributed) the photo montage of Jacob's second year home as well as reviewing his first year home (at his request). Jacob loves watching the montages and was a little disappointed we wouldn't watch it more than one time. We enjoyed the cupcakes and then headed for home. It was a great day to celbrate being a family.
I plan to post his photo motage here either later today or in the next few days. I need to edit it to remove images of the foster children before I post it here. Check back tonight or in the next few days.
I have many feelings and reflections about the past two years I want to share. I hope to do that in the next few days as well. My life (and Jacob's) changed forever two years ago yesterday. I wouldn't change any of it.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Yipee!!!!
I was informed I have been accepted to graduate school today. It will be almost a 2 hour drive 2-3 times a week but worth it. I really want to change careers in the next 2-3 years and this will allow me to do it. I know I will be exhausted going to school full-time and parenting my boys. I also know I am not the first mom to go back to school and not the last.
The college I chose is set up for commuter students. I have spoken to other people who made the commute. It is pretty much major highways. The fact I only have to do it a couple times a week makes it doable. I can do most of my internship hours while on my days off work when the boys are at daycare. I can also get a few hours in during the evenings if I have to but I will try to avoid it.
I am nervous about the financing and about the pressures of going back to school. I know I can do it if I can get the money. Now that I have been accepted, I just need to look for scholarships and funding. Hopefully, I will have good news to report on that front soon.
The college I chose is set up for commuter students. I have spoken to other people who made the commute. It is pretty much major highways. The fact I only have to do it a couple times a week makes it doable. I can do most of my internship hours while on my days off work when the boys are at daycare. I can also get a few hours in during the evenings if I have to but I will try to avoid it.
I am nervous about the financing and about the pressures of going back to school. I know I can do it if I can get the money. Now that I have been accepted, I just need to look for scholarships and funding. Hopefully, I will have good news to report on that front soon.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Meeting Jacob's Family
It was two years ago that I met Jacob's birth family. It was a day that changed my life. Up to that point in time, I thought I was pretty good at turning my emotions on and off when I needed to. I could set a straight face and then just wait until later to show myself.
That day I nervously rode the four hours down a sometimes very bumpy road. I was thristy but couldn't drink any of the bottled water we took with us. The roads were just too bumpy and the bottle and water would fly everywhere when I tried. There was dust everywbere and the ground was dry. The people all seemed so friendly. They waved happily as we drove by some yelling foreigner and laughing others just stopping to stare.
We arrived in the town where Jacob's family would be brought to meet us. I was anxious. Would they come? Would they like me? Would they demand that I return him to them? Were they happy he was going to America?
My fears were soon calmed. Jacob's family (I won't say which ones for privacy reasons) arrived to meet us. As soon as they saw me, they began crying. I wasn't far behind. I sat down and just let them talk. About thirty minutes later, we left the room. The visit had lasted almost twice as long as everyone else's.
I couldn't stop crying. Me. I almost never cry in public and I couldn't stop. I wasn't sure what to do. I did know that I had learned some very important things from people in a completely different culture and land than I had grown up in. I learned that strength is found inside and not shown without tears. It is deep inside of a person and shows when that person is called to do the unimaginable to help another human being. I learned that love can sometimes mean saying good bye despite every part of you wanting to say stay. I learned that birth parents (know matter how they came to say good bye to their child) love their child.
Mostly I gained respect and love for a person I had never met. I saw a lot of me in them that day. We had a similar personality which would explain why Jacob and I have similar personalities today. When I look at Jacob two years later, I see his birth family. I see their quiet strength. I see their overwhelming generosity and compassion when he is the first to share with a new child or to comfort a crying child. I see their beauty both inside and outside.
For anyone considering adoption as a way to form a family, I urge you to meet the birth family. Not to find out what type of genetic risks their might be or to confront them about the choices they have made. Meet them to get to know them. It will help you understand your child and the gifts he or she has inherited. It will allow you to give that gift to your child in the form of memories you have of his or her birth family.
To Jacob's birth family, thank you. You will never know the joy you have given me. I have never once stopped thinking about you and thanking you. You gave me your son. As I said that day, we are both now his family.
That day I nervously rode the four hours down a sometimes very bumpy road. I was thristy but couldn't drink any of the bottled water we took with us. The roads were just too bumpy and the bottle and water would fly everywhere when I tried. There was dust everywbere and the ground was dry. The people all seemed so friendly. They waved happily as we drove by some yelling foreigner and laughing others just stopping to stare.
We arrived in the town where Jacob's family would be brought to meet us. I was anxious. Would they come? Would they like me? Would they demand that I return him to them? Were they happy he was going to America?
My fears were soon calmed. Jacob's family (I won't say which ones for privacy reasons) arrived to meet us. As soon as they saw me, they began crying. I wasn't far behind. I sat down and just let them talk. About thirty minutes later, we left the room. The visit had lasted almost twice as long as everyone else's.
I couldn't stop crying. Me. I almost never cry in public and I couldn't stop. I wasn't sure what to do. I did know that I had learned some very important things from people in a completely different culture and land than I had grown up in. I learned that strength is found inside and not shown without tears. It is deep inside of a person and shows when that person is called to do the unimaginable to help another human being. I learned that love can sometimes mean saying good bye despite every part of you wanting to say stay. I learned that birth parents (know matter how they came to say good bye to their child) love their child.
Mostly I gained respect and love for a person I had never met. I saw a lot of me in them that day. We had a similar personality which would explain why Jacob and I have similar personalities today. When I look at Jacob two years later, I see his birth family. I see their quiet strength. I see their overwhelming generosity and compassion when he is the first to share with a new child or to comfort a crying child. I see their beauty both inside and outside.
For anyone considering adoption as a way to form a family, I urge you to meet the birth family. Not to find out what type of genetic risks their might be or to confront them about the choices they have made. Meet them to get to know them. It will help you understand your child and the gifts he or she has inherited. It will allow you to give that gift to your child in the form of memories you have of his or her birth family.
To Jacob's birth family, thank you. You will never know the joy you have given me. I have never once stopped thinking about you and thanking you. You gave me your son. As I said that day, we are both now his family.
Planning Family Day
Jacob has decided we need to bake treats for family day this Saturday. He originally wanted cupcakes with sprinkles. Now he states he wants chocolate chip cookies with sprinkles on top. Hmmm... not something I have ever seen but maybe it would work.
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