Dedication or Too Much?

I was at the Y today for open swim with the kids. We love to go to open swim and make it almost every week for at least an hour. This time is just for fun. I want the kids to be able to just play and figure they are improving their swimming skills just by chasing each other through the water and experimenting with different ways they can move themselves. I try to leave the coaching/teaching for practices and lessons.

Today I saw a mom with her two children at the pool. They came in with their fins and kickboards. The mom asked the lifeguard if the kids could swim laps and then gave the children instructions for what to swim. She sat on the side and occasionally came over and gave them additional instructions. I have seen these children and this mom at swim meets but have no idea how well the kids swim. To be honest, I don't really pay attention to the kids in the pool unless it is someone I know. I don't even know what team these kids swim for and it may be the same team Jacob is on. It doesn't matter.

My concern with what I saw was whether or not the children wanted to swim laps. Did they have the choice? I don't know. It's possible they were having fun and wanted mom to run her own practice. Jacob will sometimes choose to swim laps during open swim and really enjoys racing me in the pool when I have someone who can hang out with Matthew in the shallow end while we race. The difference is that I don't tell him what to swim or how far. I believe that should be left to the coaches at practice (which is later today so really no reason to make him practice twice in a day).

Again, I have no idea what this mom and kids were doing other than swimming laps. I definitely don't want to say that what they were doing is wrong since it may be what they all wanted to do. I just have seen too many parents who put too much pressure on their kids to excel at sports and it stops becoming fun. Children need encouragement and lots of time to practice their new skills but it should be in a fun manner. Especially outside of practice and team functions.

So if you see the kids with me at the pool, don't expect to see me telling them how many yards to swim or what strokes. Other than giving little reminders or enforcing safety rules, you won't see them "practicing." You will see them playing tag, racing each other or me and just having fun. There is plenty of time for working hard later.

A Look Back At 2012

Every year is full of ups and downs. There have been studies that show that people who concentrate on the positive or are more optimistic are happier and more grateful. Everyone has things in their lives they wish they could change and we all have days that are better than others. Yet every day is a blessing from God and a reason to celebrate. Even when it doesn't necessarily feel like the day was great or those (hopefully rare) days that you wish you could forget.

In honor of 2012 here is a list of our highlights (in no particular order).

1) Matthew graduated from 4K. Finally our days of paying full-time child care for an infant, toddler or preschooler are over. Matthew did great in 4K.

2) Jacob made swim team. This was a huge accomplishment. He could barely swim the length of the pool in August and worked extremely hard to improve his swimming ability so that he could make the team in September. I have never seen him work so hard or try to hard as he did during tryouts. He made the team and can now swim many laps without stopping.

3) Matthew was promoted to 6 year old swimming lessons. He showed great improvement in December and was moved up to the "big kid" lessons. This was not only due to his improved swimming abilities but also improved behavior and maturity during lessons.

4) Jacob and Matthew learned how to ice skate and got the chance to participate in hockey lessons. This will be a one year only experience since hockey is expensive and the kids have other sports they like just as much.

5) Matthew got to play t-ball after watching his brother play t-ball for the past 3 years. He loved it and was doing really well by the end of the season. He is already looking forward to playing again next year.

6) I got the chance to coach Jacob and Matthew in soccer. I have very limited experience in soccer but I don't need much at this age level.

7) Matthew was accepted into a dual language charter school and loves it. He speaks Spanish most of the day and has been learning a lot.

8) I received a Master's Degree in Social Work. This was a major accomplishment. I thought about quitting several times over the past 3 years but was able to finish it. I now have a social work degree that I can use in my current job or in any other state if I ever want to move or change jobs.

9) Jacob and Matthew have had a great start to kindergarten and 1st grade. Matthew has had a few difficulties over the past few weeks but overall has done very well. Both kids are ahead of grade level in Math and are doing very well academically which is most important to me.

10) We made it through the year healthy. We had a few ups and downs health wise. I made my first trip to the ER as a parent when Jacob was poked in the eye and it was scratched enough to bleed. It was an accident but still pretty traumatic. Matthew was sent home from school early after putting a hood over his head and then walking into a wall trying to be silly. He ended up biting through his lip. No stitches but lots of blood and a very fat lip that is still healing. No broken bones, serious injuries, serious illness and no stitches yet so I call this year a huge success. With my boys, every day without a broken bone is a day to celebrate.

Christmas Break and Reflections on Recent Events

It is Christmas break at our house. I am working hard to try to spend less money and find cheap and fun activities around town. We have a membership for the Y so we go there often. We have also been taking frequent trips to the library and book store. The kids love looking through the books and I love watching them learn to read. Jacob is now reading easy chapter books and can read alone or to someone. Matthew is trying to learn to read in English and Spanish. He is also doing a great job but doesn't have the same passion for it that Jacob is developing. I am hoping he will enjoy reading more as he gets better.

Today we are off to get free hair cuts at JCPenny Salon. They give free hair cuts to children 5-12 years old every Sunday. The salon hopes that it creates more foot traffic through their salon and store. I can say that it works for us. I am horrible at remembering to schedule hair appointments for myself and will often go three or four months between appointments (sometimes longer). It is easier to remember to take the kids in since it is easier to tell when they are due for another cut. I have been better about getting my own hair cut since I started taking the kids for their free cuts. I can make appointments for all of us although I try to get my appointment on a day when the kids are at school.

This time of year is also a time to remember how important family is and spend a little extra time with them. I have known two families suffering loss and scary emergencies in the past two weeks with their sons in their early 20s. There was the school shooting in CT where the victims were all the same age as Jacob. It was hard watching that coverage and not thinking about Jacob and his friends at school. Matthew is only a year behind those kids and will be 6 in just a few months. It is scary to think that anyone could look at children their ages and see anything other than innocence. It is also scary to think that there could be anyone out there who may want to hurt my children or any children. I have seen a lot of very disturbing things in my careers in law enforcement and social work yet the amount of evil someone can possess continues to amaze me.

I have been like a lot of other parents and spent a little extra time hugging my children and appreciating them. I believe that as an adoptive parent who had to work hard to become a parent means that I can never completely take my relationship with my children for granted. I often wonder why I was the lucky person to get to parent them and be called mom. I am forever grateful for them and for the people who helped bring them to my home. With all of the recent news of children being hurt, firefighters attacked and mentally ill adults harming people for no apparent reason, I appreciate my children and the time I get to spend with them a little more. After all, no one knows what tomorrow will hold. All I can do is enjoy today and hope that I get to spend many more wonderful days with my family.

A New Computer

My new computer is both exciting and frustrating. I will never figure out why companies believe customers will ever figure it all out on our own. I am looking forward to being able to post pictures on here again and maybe even posting slightly more frequently.

My kids are getting older so I am being more careful about what I post. I am not going to be one of those moms who posts embarrassing stories about my children. It is just too easy for people to use these stories against them later.

Week of Ups and Downs

It has been a week full of life's ups and downs yet overall it was mostly good. Here is a quick recap of our adventures this week.

Monday: We got to spend a nice quiet evening at home. We really don't have too many of these so it is nice when they come along. I am having a lot of trouble keeping up at work right now so I was able to spend some time working at home while my kids watched TV and played quietly.

Tuesday: I went on a field trip with Matthew's kindergarten class. I always enjoy watching my kids play with other kids and listening to their conversations. Matthew's class amazed me with how well behaved they were. There was actually only one child in all 3 kindergarten classes that got in trouble during the field trip and even he didn't get in any major trouble. Pretty amazing for a public school in larger city. Matthew picked out a green pumpkin and we are trying to decide what to do with it.

Wednesday: Another busy day. Jacob had an early swim team practice and we got home shortly before Matthew's day care bus arrived. We then went to dinner with a good friend who is expecting her first child in December. I always enjoy spending time with her and just wish we were able to spend more time together.

Thursday: What a day! Matthew was really excited about a family party at day care and really wanted me to attend. I was really looking forward to it until nothing would go my way at work. I was sure I was going to be lucky to be home by bedtime much less in time for a party. I called my mom and was very glad when she said she would take Jacob to practice and go to the party with Matthew. Things finally started to go my way at the end of the day and I made it to Matthew's party about half an hour before it ended. I was just in time to enjoy a taco and watch the kids break a pinata. I was then able to greet Jacob after practice and watch Matthew in his karate class before we went home for a quick dinner and bedtime.

Friday: I was very glad to see the week come to an end. I was still feeling a lot of stress about issues a work but knew that it was time to relax and leave it behind. We went to a Halloween party at the Y where the kids dressed as firefighters and played games. They had a great time until about half an hour before the party ended. Matthew was just a little too tired after a full week of school, day care and activities. We ended up leaving a little early but overall it was a great night.

Saturday: Saturday was just crazy but also a lot of fun. We started the day by running out of cinnamon rolls before the last child ate. I had to quickly throw another batch in the oven but it made us a couple minutes late to football. I then found out pictures were rescheduled for that morning. Of course, the kids still had face paint that wouldn't wash off completely from the night before so they weren't really looking their best. The pictures turned out alright but I decided I didn't need to order any since we just ordered school pictures and the kids don't change that much in 2 weeks.

We left football and decided to buy Matthew some ice skates for hockey lessons. Lessons start next week but the kids both had ice skating lessons yesterday. Of course, my bad luck was continuing and the store was busy making us late for ice skating. We would have been about 5 minutes late until we hit a train that stopped on the tracks for about 15 minutes. Ugh! The kids only made it to about 15 minutes of their lessons. Oh, well. They still have one more lesson and then will start hockey lessons on Sundays.

After hockey the day went much better. We went to Schuster's Playtime Farm where the kids got to pet some farm animals, feed the goats and play on a giant inflatable pillow. Aidan was with us and really enjoyed riding on the tracter train. All of the kids picked out pumpkins and this time Matthew chose a white pumpkin. Jacob and Aidan both chose orange pumpkins. I bought everyone a carmel apple and we left the farm and corn maze tired but happy. We got home last night and just collapsed.

Today starts another week and I am hoping it goes well. We only have 3 days of work and school this week then we get a long weekend. I am taking Jacob and Matthew to a water park and hotel for 2 days and Aidan is spending the night next weekend while his mom works. We don't have a lot of big plans for the weekend and I am hoping we will have some extra time to just relax and have fun. And maybe mulch and rake some leaves...

We appear to be a swimming family

We appear to be a swimming family now. Jacob has competed in 2 meets and he loves it. He swam 25 yd backstroke and 25 freestyle the past 2 weeks. This week he seemed to have really taken off. He cut almost 6 seconds off of his backstroke time from last week and 3 seconds off of his freestyle time. More importantly, he really loves swimming and is very motivated to continue to do well.

Jacob has had to miss 3 practices in the past 6 weeks because I couldn't get off work in time to get him there. I would think that with 3 practices a week he wouldn't mind taking a break once in awhile. I am very wrong. He cried the last 2 times telling me he isn't getting any stronger and that it is my fault. Talk about a guilt trip. He was also upset that I only signed him up to swim on Saturday this weekend and not Sunday's meet too. I really think one weekend day at the pool is enough.

Matthew is really surprising me. He has always enjoyed swimming but never really put a lot of effort into swimming lessons. He usually plays around on the side of the pool and doesn't always follow the instructor's directions. Matthew asked to join swim team and I told him he needs to learn to swim better and show me that he can listen to the teacher so I know he will listen to the coach. All of a sudden he is motivated and surprising everyone. He went from refusing to swim more than a few feet to swimming half way across the pool. He also went from refusing to float on his back to swimming backstroke in 1 week. He now wants to practice his strokes during open swim times and asks every weekend if I will take him swimming. He was really excited when Jacob's coach told him he can join mid-season or as soon as he can swim well enough. I told him I probably won't sign him up this winter because I want him to be a little older but I would sign him up for summer swim next summer if he keeps trying hard in lessons and can swim the length of the pool.

Jacob will probably swim in 14 more swim meets before the season ends in March. He will have short breaks over the holidays and in January but otherwise can swim almost every weekend. There are a couple of weeks that we are busy and he will miss the meets but that will probably just give him some nice breaks. My goal is to let him swim in 2 to 3 meets a month and see how he does.

I am really enjoying watching Jacob swim and hope he continues to love the sport. I also hope Matthew enjoys it next summer. I think it would be great to be able to watch both boys compete and improve their skills. Swimming is a lifelong skill and something they can enjoy for years to come.

Am I Becoming One Of Those Moms?

Jacob had his frist swim meet yesterday. I tried really hard to share some of my advice (I swam in high school) with him but not be too pushy. I'm not sure I was very successful but I tried. Mostly I am trying to let him take the lead in how often we swim outside of practice and then just encouraging him. Yesterday Jacob swam 25 yard freestyle, 25 yard backstroke and 2 relays. He had a lot of fun and enjoyed keeping track of his times. I have a lot to learn about how to be a swim team parent. I need to figure out what kind of snacks are the best to bring, how soon to make sure he is at clerk of course to get ready for his meets and when to have him put on sweats and when to encourage him to just wait with a suit and towel on. I knew I would have trouble with those areas and am slowly starting to figure it out. The place I surprised myself was when I was at the wall where the results were being posted anxiously waiting for Jacob's time. I listened to parents talking about cutoff times and complaining that state time qualifiers haven't been posted yet. I'm not concerned at all about Jacob qualifying for state. Probably because he has almost no chance of qualifying but I also hope I don't ever get as anxious as those parents about having a child qualify. I just want him to have fun and do his best. I need to make sure that is where my focus stays and not watching every time to see if he "qualifies" for anything. That is the coaches job to worry about.