How Many Is Too Many?

A single mother in California recently gave birth to octuplets. She already had 6 children. Leaving financial issues aside, I wonder how many kids is just too many? I know of families that are very large and that it can work. I just wonder if having that many young children by yourself is realisitic. I am sure she will find a way to make it work, I just wonder how.

I often am left wondering how to manage my household with two children. A situation came up last week that had me thinking about how to add another child to the family. I found those answers pretty easily and hope that it is possible. My original plan is to wait until sometime late this year or early next year to accept another concurrent foster child. That will change if the social worker decides that I can have a special little girl in my home. I won't know for awhile if that will happen but I have figured out how to make it work.

The biggest challenge will be finding a minivan. I have an SUV now but it is very difficult to fit 3 car seats/booster seats in the back. It also does not have enough seats for taking the teenagers (J and B) to church on Sundays or transporting P to activities every 1-2 weeks. M will often take the opportunity to hit and scratch whoever is unlucky enough to be sitting in the seat next to him. That always leads to crying and frustration from the child being hit and M when the child grabs his arm to prevent another attack.

Please let me know if anyone knows of a reliable minivan or SUV with a third row seat that is affordable. I think I will be forced to give up my much loved SUV in the very near future for a vehicle with enough seats.

Oh, and a note to my family and friends. Don't worry. I know that 14 kids is too many for me. I am thinking more like 3 now and maybe in about 5 years adding a fourth. I really don't see more than that in my future and really don't expect to have more than 3 if number 3 is a girl. I liked the woman in California's mother stating she wished her daughter had become a kindergarten teacher. I don't think that would stop me from wanting more children but I do know that 14 very young kids would be a huge challenge.

Sick Kid #2

Just as I thought we might luck out this year, both boys are on antibiotics. Jacob had a nasty cold that turned into a sinus infection over the weekend. When I picked him up last night, I was told he had a slight fever earlier in the day. It was gone by then but I still called the doctor. The only opening was in 13 mintues and it is a 10 minute drive from daycare to the doctor.

Jacob and I rushed to get his coat and out to the car. We made it to the clinic with about 2 minutes to spare. The doctor was only running about 5 minutes behind (remarkable for that time of the day) and we were actually only about 20 minutes picking M up from daycare.

The entire trip made us late getting home though so cooking became out of the question. I decided to stop for a pizza on the way home to save some time. I was able to make it to my Monday night bible study 15 minutes late with both boys home, medicated and the sitter preparing them for bed.

So the sick count so far this week is 2 kids and 1 cat. I have a little bit of the cold that the boys have. Luckily, I just don't seem to get as sick lately from their illnesses. I am hoping my immune system is a little more use to being exposed to kid germs than when Jacob arrived almost 2 years ago.

Ethiopian Genna Celebration

We attended a genna celebration sponsored by the local Ethiopian community. It was wonderful to see so many beautiful children and families. Jacob had a wonderful time playing with all of the kids. He made some new friends with a family waiting to adopt a child 3-8 years old. I think he convinced them that preschool age kids are great! The kids and the dad all left very tired. I was amazed Jacob stayed awake on the way home. He was definitelly tired but had a wonderful time.

Diversity

I was reminded last night how lucky I am to live in this community. I took 3 kids to the movies (see previous post). The children were white, black and hispanic. With 3 kids of obviously different races, I would expect to attract questions or at least some curious stares. Yet every time I take children from different racial backgrounds, I don't even get a second glance. The only attention or comments I get are from people asking if they can help me and comments about having young children. Yesterdays overheard comment was that I must be really brave to take three young children to the movies.

This lack of interest in our diverse family is not something I take for granted. I often read stories on other blogs or hear them from other families about their experiences. They often get questions that are not based just in curiosity and glances that are not just curiosity. As I wait to hear about graduate school and begin making plans for a career move (after the economy improves), I need to remember how comfortable we are here. With all of the multiracial and multicultural families here, we are not an oddity. Just another family with young children.

The only exception is at my church. I am known as the woman with all the kids. I kind of like that. And it does fit. I not only take my own two kids but also 3 teenagers with me. Sometimes, an extra child tags along and people wonder if I am fostering or adopting another one. The answer right now is no. I can't afford a minivan and I don't have enough room in my car for anymore kids. Maybe in a few years I can add another child to the family.

Movies

It is really nice having a son old enough to go to a movie and enjoy it. I said a son. I took M, Jacob and our friend P to a movie this morning. They have $2.50 movie admission and free popcorn showings on Saturday mornings during the winter. The shows are always movies that are just getting ready to come out on DVD. Today's showing was Madagascar 2.

Jacob and P really enjoyed the movie. M is 20 months old and just too young to enjoy the movie. I fed him Icees and popcorn and took him out a handful of times to remind him to be quiet. It went alright. I actually saw more of the movie than I thought I would. I do feel sorry for whoever has to clean up after us though! There was spilled popcorn and Icee all over the floor.

The nice thing about these Saturday morning shows is that they are mostly attended by families with young children. No one really expects the kids to be quiet throughout the show and everyone understands when a child suddenly breaks loose and yells or runs down an aisle.

Cat Mystery Solved

Well, it cost over $400 but I figured out which cat was sick. Buddy was the poor kitty. He has also lost some weight so he may have been sick for awhile. He is on antibiotics now so he should be feeling better soon.

M has had a really bad cold the past few days. This morning and last night it appeared to be turning into a sinus infection. I will take him to the doctor this afternoon. My doctor count so far this week is three cats and one kid. Two will most likely be on antibiotics by the time the week is over. We had been on a really good streak with over two months without any doctor visits for M and a month without anyone (pets or people) on antibiotics. Hopefully, we can get through the rest of winter without anymore emergency trips to the doctor or vet.

A New Haircut!

I decided last week to cut my hair short. The stylist asked what I wanted and I just said short. She gave me some recommendations and this is what we came up with. I haven't decided how I like it yet. The good thing about hair is that it is never permanent. I can always cut it differently, let it grow back out or decide to leave it in this style.