Swim Team Or Hockey?

Jacob has been dreaming about learning to play hockey for the past 7 months. I signed him and Matthew up for beginning lessons in August with the thought that it would give them a jump start on learning to play this fall. Jacob was absolutely sure he wanted to play and has even been begging me to get him his own pads and skates. I have been refusing to buy him anything since he has only been ice skating once in his life and the pads and skates are included in lessons for the first year. I am now glad I said no since he is now debating if he will play or not. So what is the debate and why would he change his mind? It's simple. Swimming. This kid is a little fish. People have been commenting since he was 2 about what a good swimmer he is for his age. Even the life guards are often impressed with how well he does. He has been swimming laps for the past several months as part of his swimming lessons and recently passed the "deep water test" at an open swim. The life guards are pretty sure he swims well enough to pass try outs and participate on swim team if he wants to. He is sure he wants to and I have a call in to the coach to find out more information. So why am I nervous about him joining? Well, I have a few concerns. 1) Time: The team practices three days a week and has meets almost every weekend. He has to participate in at least one meet a month but I am sure he would want to participate in more. The meets are the most fun part of swim team and I remember how much fun I had hanging out at meets with friends and eating junk food between events. 2) Impact on school work: I'm not extermely concerned about this one and it really isn't a big deal but I always worry a little about school work. Jacob will be in 1st grade this year so he is still little. He will have some homework but not a lot. My hope was he would do most of his homework at his after school care and we would just spend a few minutes finishing it and looking it over together. Swim practice is often right after school so he would have to complete his homework after dinner which means he will be tired from a long day. Again, not a huge concern since he does very well in school but I don't want homework to become a major battle. 3) Only one sport for 7 months: Again, not a huge concern but still there. Swim team would start at the same time as flag football but the monthly (or more) meets wouldn't begin until the football season was almost over. Other than hockey, he really isn't interested in other winter sports. His main loves are swimming, baseball and soccer. Baseball starts in late April and soccer is only 6 week sessions that he probably won't play in the fall anyway due to football commitments. 4) Cost: This is probably the big one. The fee breaks down to only $40 a month for his age group but is due all at one time in September. At the same time that I have to finish paying for back to school supplies, fall clothes and the dogs biannual vet vist and immunizations. While I think I can come up with the fees, it won't be easy that month and I wasn't planning ahead since he wasn't as strong of a swimmer in May so I didn't expect this to be an issue. I know Jacob would love swim team. I loved swim team and he has my love for anything in the water. (You would never guess this is the same little boy who use to scream during baths because he was so afraid of water). He is also very good at swimming and I have no doubt he will improve quickly if he was motivated by a good coach, other good swimmers near his age and the idea that he could race. He loves to race in the water and land and is fast. He recently beat all of the other kids at his summer camp including children entering 5th grade at a track meet (his teacher confirmed that he wasn't exagerating) and he is getting pretty fast in the water too. I want to encourage him and allow him to follow his passion and love but I also want to be cautious not to push him too fast too quick. After all, he needs time to be a little boy and try lots of new things. The practices are three times a week for one hour each time. I may have to flex my work schedule to get him to some of the practices but I also know I can find people to help me get him there also. The practices are in the early evening/late afternoon so we would be home for dinner and have plenty of time to relax before bed. There would also be time to take Matthew to his activities after swimming (right now he really wants to take an art class) which is also important. I am leaning towards letting him swim but I haven't decided for sure. There is a try out the first week of September and I plan to sign him up to attend. I plan to use that week to see how he likes it, make sure the coach thinks he swims well enough to join and then make a final decision. I know Jacob really wants to join but I also need to make the decision that will be in his best interest. Anyone out there have children who were on swim team at 7 years old? What was your experience like and what advice do you have? Should I let him take hockey on Sundays as well knowing that it will fill our week up but know that at least I let him try it? Any advice is appreciated.

Matthew is 5!

Matthew is 5. He actually turned 5 about 2 weeks ago. In honor of Matthew's 5th birthday. Here are 5 things I love about him. 1) His smile. Matthew has a smile that lights up the room and anyone else that is near him. 2) His imagination. Matthew has a great imagination. I watched him take a stick and a bottle. He put them to gether and they quickly became a sunshade and then a telescope. Just one example of his creative mind. 3) His excitement. Nothing is ever boring for Matthew. He can find excitement in anything. And if there isn't any excitement, he will make some. 4) His love of language. Matthew's teacher has taught him a little American Sign Language. He is also beginning to learn Spanish and loves it. I plan to enroll him in a dual immersion program next year where he will speak Spanish and English in school. 5) His kind spirit. Matthew has really learned to love helping other people. He loves to work with adults and help them as well as helping younger children. Matthew is a great kid and I am proud of him. He will be starting kindergarten in just a few months and I will no longer have a preschooler in my home. While I will miss being able to pick him up from school for a surprise lunch or ice cream, I will enjoy watching him learn as he begins his school career. Happy birthday Matthew! I hope you enjoy being 5.

End Of A Very Difficult Semester

I am very pleased to say that the Spring school semester is over and we all survived. Not only that but I ended the semester with all As. I'm very happy especially since I thought I would not pass at least one of my classes at one point in the semester. This semester was very difficult. My case load was very demanding and I am still trying to figure out how I will ever get caught up again. I had a class that started at 5 pm which meant I had to leave work early to get there which created more pressure on me. The class didn't end until 9 and it is a 2 hour drive home so my kids spent the night at my parents' house every weekend. Then in the middle of all of that I also suffered a miscarriage earlier in the semester. Yet, despite all of that I passed and now am only three months away from having my MSW. I proved once again that I can do anything if I put my mind to it and call on my family and friends to help me. I am still trying to figure out how I will work my internship this summer but I am off to a good start. I will probably only work at my internship 2 evenings a week and one morning a week. I have to get the morning cleared by my boss at work but I think she will be okay with it as long as I make up the hours I am away or use my vacation time. I could never have finished my degree without the help and support of my friends, family and supervisor. It really has been a challenge but I have almost made it. The hardest part is over and I just need to keep working for a few more months.

Graduation

Today was graduation day. I actually won't graduate until the end of August but the ceremony was today. Jacob and Matthew watched the entire ceremony and met me at the end with roses. I was so proud of them. Part of attending college, especially graduate school, is knowing that there will be sacrifices. My children made the biggest sacrifices. Matthew was just 2 years old when I began the program and Jacob turned 4 shortly after the school year began. They have missed having me around every evening and spending all of my time away from work with them. It's been tough. The first year I only got to spend about 3 days a month where I wasn't either working at my job or my internship. The second year was better although I was often doing homework. This past semester I have been spending 4 nights a week at either my internship or class although I have every weekend home with the kids. So was all of this sacrifice (time away from my kids, school work and student loans) worth it? I can say that answer is definitely yes. I am now in a career that I enjoy musch more than my last one. I get to spend every weekend and holidays at home with my children. I can easily take off work when I need a few hours to attend a school function or take my children to an appointment. I changed carees just over a year ago. Not only did I got to a job I enjoy much better but I also have a lot tension between work and my children. There are often conflicts between my children's activities and needs and my employment. My last employer addressed those conflicts quickly and without thought. Always go to work first. Work is always the number one priority unless the union contract said otherwise. My current employer also answers questions about those conflicts quickly. The supervisors tell us to never let work interfere with our family time and obligations. Children grow up quickly and the work will be there after the children's events. What a change in philosophy and one that I will never take for granted. So what did my degree and college sacrifices get me? A job I love. More time with my children. An employer who understands and believes that children have to come first and the work second. A lot of debt that I just hope will be payed off before I die. Its all worth it. I'm happier now and once school is finished I will have a lot more time with my children. I don't have to work weekends or holidays and I will soon have evenings off again.

Baseball Has Officially Started

MLB may still have a few days to the start of opening season for many teams but around here we are well under way. I have heard from Jacob and Matthew's coaches and Jacob attended his first practice yesterday. I am amazed at how much he has grown in the past year and improved. He is now ready for "machine pitch" which means no more hitting off the tee right away. Yesterday he was fielding grounders, hitting the ball when the coach threw it to him and throwing and catching the ball. He may not be ready to play in the big leagues (or even with the bigger kids) but he is doing much better than a year ago.

Matthew will be playing t-ball this year. He is excited and I am hopeful he will really enjoy it. He loves hitting the ball of the tee at home when we practice. I got his team roster yesterday and learned he is on the same team as Jacob's best friend from school. I am looking forward to watching all of the kids have fun and watching Jacob cheer on his brother and friend.

I will be playing softball in a Friday night league with a friend. It is a co-ed slow pitch league which should be a lot of fun. I would love to have some extra time to practice but just being on the team will be great. Between Jacob's games (3 days a week), Matthew's games (2 days a week) and my games (1 day a week) it is a good thing we are a "baseball family." Now to just find the time and money to go to a few Brewers games...

Spring Break

Spring is here and so is Spring Break. My spring break at the university was actuall school and my internship programming was running, I really didn't take much of a break. We really haven't had a lot of down time this spring and it has been very difficult. I work an intership 3 evenings a week and have class another night so really only spend a lot of time with the kids on weekends. Thankfully, I changed jobs last year so that I now have weekends off.

The kids and I have been doing pretty well considering that I have been extremely overwhelmed between work and school. The kids just go with the flow and enjoy spending extra time with my parents and friend. Last week was really the first time I have seen any real signs of stress from the kids and that was just some extra clingy behavior that I don't usually see out of them.

I decided to take most of this week off work. I have to go in 2 days this week when I am on call and there is some paperwork I am hoping to complete but I didn't schedule any home visits or meetings. I also have a paper due Wednesday night and class so I will have to make sure I get those things finished but I am sure that won't be too difficult.

My plan is to take three days to just focus on the kids and enjoy them. I haven't figured out what we are going to do all of those days. I received a request to go to the zoo one of the days if the weather is nice and hope to do that on Monday. We may just take a day to relax at home and ride bikes around the neighborhood. Mostly we just need to spend time together as a family.

Life has been hectic and very stressful lately so this week will be a nice chance to just relax and reconnect. Even if that means just laying in bed and watching cartoons on a Saturday morning. As long as we are together and slowing down, it will be a great week.

5 Years!

I can't believe my sweet little boy came to me 5 years ago this week. It was 5 years ago today that Jacob and I boarded an airplane bound for America. Jacob has some very vague memories of his time in Ethiopia but he still has a curiosity and love for it that only an Ethiopian-American can have.

I will admit I found myself getting emotional a few times this week as I look back at that magical week five years ago think about how far we have come. Jacob was ready to leave Ethiopia and the care center. He never really looked back and made it very clear he didn't want to return. He became very uncomfortable when anyone would speak Amharic to him and would come running to me. He attached to me very quickly and that attachment has only grown since then.

Jacob is now 6 years old. He is in kindergarten. He is no longer the baby that I fell in love with. He is a rapidly growing boy who I love even more now than I did that day. Every day he amazes me with his resilience, intelligence and friendly easy going personality.

Five years ago I had a lot of fear and anxiety as I began my life as a single parent. I was really worried that I wouldn't be able to do it or that I would hate it. I can now say that I don't parent alone. Sure, I'm the only adult living in the home but that doesn't mean I'm alone. I have great family and friends that are more than willing to help me out. Being able to call a friend or family member for help at any time of the day is a great blessing and gift that I will forever be thankful for. I no longer fear being a single parent. I know I can do it. I also know I love it.

Our lives changed forever five years ago. Jacob has touched me in a way no one else ever could have. He has taught me what a mother's love really is. He has taught me what it is like to lay awake at night worrying about if I am making the right decision. I have learned what it is like to lay next to a sleepiong child with a fever and worry about him. I have also learned the joy of hearing your child say I love you and You are my mom for the first time. I have learned the joy of watching your chid grow and learn at amazing speeds. I have learned to appreciate life and see every day as a blessing.

Becoming a mom was the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have Jacob to thank for helping me begin along that path. It's been five years that went by too fast. I am looking forward to many more years of loving him, parenting him and just enjoying spending time with him. Jacob, happy family day and may you continue to grow and find peace and happiness.