Reading Progress!!!!

Guess who read a book in Spanish last night! I was very proud of him. It is really hard to learn to read in a language that you are just learning to speak. I met with Matthew's teacher a couple of weeks ago and she stated he was having trouble reading. I watched him in class and noticed that he wasn't reading the sight words as quickly as the teacher was showing them and although he was looking in her general direction, he didn't seem to be looking at the words. I asked his teacher if there was anything I could do at home and she stated she would begin sending books home in about a month.

A month is a long time for a young boy to wait to get individual attention in reading. I have never been good at just patiently waiting for my children's teachers to decide they are ready to teach something and have always tried to find ways to supplement the children's education. I just get frustrated trying to help Matthew because his curriculum is in Spanish and there isn't very much available.

I found a book store that had some easy reader books in Spanish and spent way too much money on books. I took some of Matthew's worksheets at school and began working with him at home on reading and writing his "sight words" and he picked them up almost immediately. I also started reading to him at home almost every night from the Spanish books. Yesterday Matthew picked up one of the easier books and started to read it to me before I could start reading to him. He got stuck a few times on the bigger words but overall knew most of the words. I started working with him on looking at the word and picture when he gets stuck instead of just guessing any word that starts with the same letter and he did even better.

It was a huge relief to see him reading on his own and seeing that he will be able to pick up reading quickly once the teacher starts sending books home. We will keep reading at home and I recently started working with him on math to build his number line. He went from struggling to read the numbers in the teens to being able to read them and put them in order forward and backward within 2 practice sessions.

Matthew may still qualify for summer school especially since he is just learning Spanish but he is making significant progress with just a little extra attention. His biggest challenge continues to be having a very limited Spanish vocabulary but that will change as he speaks Spanish and hears Spanish more.

Dreaming of Summer

Matthew returned from school yesterday freezing. He was wearing shorts, a sleeveless shirt and his winter coat. I immediately asked him where his pants and sweatshirt were since that it was he had on when he left for school. He stated he took them off at school as soon as he got there. He then spent the rest of the day freezing because he didn't want to wear his pants or sweatshirt. The high yesterday was 15 degrees.

All I can say is ugh!!! I also told him it is still January and he needs to save the shorts for basketball on Saturdays and Summer. He wrapped up in 2 blankets and tried to convince me he wasn't cold in his shorts. It didn't work. While I believe in natural consequences, a kindergartner wearing shorts in the middle of winter is not okay. Hopefully, this is the last time we will have to have this conversation. Or at least until he is in high school.

Report Card Time Again

Our school district doesn't distribute reports cards until 2nd quarter of the school year. It drives me nuts. The 1st quarter parents meet with teachers to discuss progress. This leaves the perspective of if the child is performing as well as they should be to the teacher and doesn't allow the parent to be able to decide if it meets the parents expectations. I am one of those parents that looks at my children's work whenever they bring it home and stays in frequent contact with teachers but still wants to know what the report card says.

Jacob and Matthew both did very well. Matthew is learning in Spanish and so I expect his grades to be slightly lower due to needing to learn Spanish as well as writing, reading and math. The children in his program eventually catch up academically and I just have to be patient. His teacher told me that he was struggling a little bit due to not having a large enough Spanish vocabulary so we have started working with flashcards and reading more books in Spanish. I have seen steady improvement.

Jacob did better than I expected. I spoke to his teacher about 2 weeks ago. She hadn't started assessments and testing yet but wanted to warn me that his grades might be lower than last year (mostly reading and writing). The district is using new standards that are much more difficult. There was also an article in the paper earlier this year stating that children's report card scores would be lower due to the new standards. I am all for asking more of our children so I don't have a problems with higher standards. His scores actually improved over last year.

I am a strong believer that parents need to have high expectations for their children and be involved in their educations. I don't think parents need to be "tiger parents" and demand perfection but I do think children should be encouraged to do their very best. Whatever their very best is. I know for Jacob that means performing mostly above grade level and anything in reading or math that is not above grade level is something he can work on a little more. That doesn't mean we sit at home and run math drills for hours every night but it means we work on fun math games and have reading and writing time at home. For Matthew, it means working on learning to speak and understand Spanish through fun Spanish programs on the computer, reading Spanish books and working on Spanish flashcards to increase vocabulary.

We work for about 15 minutes at a time about 3 times a week. Pretty much, any night we are home before 8:00 we work on reading or math for a few minutes. That works well for us. I don't force it on nights we have other activities since bedtime here is 8:30 and I don't want the kids to be tired the next day. They won't learn as much if they are tired and that 15 minutes will not have helped.

Education is extremely important in my home. Not only do I want to have the children performing well enough to get into private school later if we want, but they are going to college. It's not a choice. I want them to be able to get in to any school (within reason) they choose and that means having a good educational foundation now. It's my responsibility as a parent to make sure that what we do now will not limit their opportunities in the future. That means getting a good education now so they can use that foundation later.

Talented and Gifted?

Jacob and Matthew both have been described as very bright. Jacob's teacher described him as "having a very neat brain" and wanted me to know how "cool" she thought his brain was. Of course, I think every part of him is "cool" so I can't disagree. I have always encouraged my children academically but never really needed to work hard at it.

Jacob has always been in the highest reading group but he has also had to work at reading and is usually number 2 or 3 in his class for reading level. He is always in the top tier for math and math comes easily to him. His kindergarten teacher first commented that everything she presents to him he masters immediately and she was impressed with his abilities. His ability wasn't really an issue in kindergarten though since math was a fairly small part of the day and they focused mainly on counting.

Jacob was complaining that school was too easy earlier this year and I asked his teacher to look into challenging him more. She agreed to try to challenge him a little more and stated they had just finished evaluating the kids and would start to work with them more. She said she was still having him use the same workbook as the rest of the class but was working with him and two other students on harder material also. Then a little over a month ago, Jacob began telling me about the new math book he has at school. He stated only he and two other students have these books and they work independently in them. I told him I wanted to see the book because I was curious about what he was working on. I enjoy seeing the kids' work but since Jacob's work was mostly in his workbook at school, I didn't get to see his work at home.

Last week I had the opportunity to stop in his classroom and see his math book. He normally completes 3-5 worksheets a day in it although some days he is a little more challenged and only completes 2 or 3 pages during their math time. I decided I should see exactly what he was working on since the sheets he brings home are the sheets the other students are working on and he finishes them in less than a minute most days.

I asked his teacher to see his math book and she immediately stated, "You can see it but I know what you are going to say. It is obviously too easy. I spoke to the district and they want him to finish this book before they consider other options." I wasn't sure what that meant and assumed this was a district policy regarding harder work. I was complaining to a co-worker about this "policy" and that Jacob tests at a 3rd grade math level so why isn't he doing at least 2nd grade work in the classroom. She suggested I look into talented and gifted services. I had briefly thought about it but hadn't really done much research into the district's TAG program or our options if he continues to struggle with being challenged.

I started looking up the district's policies for talented and gifted services (TAG) and actually feel much better about Jacob's education now. Apparently being given the separate math book is the first level of TAG services (general curriculum changes given by the teacher). If the child does not appear to be challenged adequately with the advanced material, the teacher or parent can then request guidance from the district TAG coordinator and possibly refer for additional services outside of the classroom. This appears to be where Jacob's teacher is at. She stated she has talked to the district a couple of times about Jacob so I am assuming she is talking to the TAG coordinator. It makes sense that the district would want to wait until Jacob works through the "advanced" book before seeking additional services to challenge him. Especially since he is in 1st grade and most of the testing doesn't start until 3rd grade. I am relieved his teacher is starting the dialogue with the district and that they are considering whether or not he is getting his needs met through the normal curriculum despite only being in 1st grade. I don't want his first 3 years of education to be wasted.

I am not sure how I feel about additional services. I know Jacob is not challenged as much as he could be. He loves doing more challenging work at home and asks me to buy him math books at the book store that are for higher grade levels. I want him to be challenged and have his needs met. I don't want him to be bored or the teacher frustrated because she is having trouble challenging him (which I get the feeling is happening at times now) . I also don't know how I feel about him being given different work outside of the classroom and possibly stigmatizing him. It's a lot to think about and if he continues to excel at this speed it is one the district and I may consider in the near future.

I never knew having children who excel could be almost as stressful as having children who struggle. I will take the stress though and continue to research and advocate. After all, I could have much worse problems.

Desired Teachers

I am like most parents and have teachers I secretly hope my child will get. There is a teacher at Matthew's school who really seems to click with him. She goes out of her way to say hi to him at school and in the community. His face lights up when he sees her and they both seem to enjoy being around each other. She even said today that she would like to be his teacher next year.

Now the only problem is that Matthew doesn't know this teachers name. I may have to do some research so that I can figure out who she is. I don't normally request teachers but I may have to make an exception despite the school district policy. Matthew needs a teacher he respects who also likes him and finds enjoyment in his antics.

I won't know who his teacher will be until next August but I would love for it to be this wonderful woman who really seems to enjoy being around him.

All In His Head

I know my children are intelligent. I have no question about that. Or at least they are both as intelligent as most other children. I see it every day when I practice reading or work on flash cards with them. Yet sometimes I wonder what that really means.

Matthew's latest line is that he can do things in his head only. I am amazed at what he can do in his head only but not out loud for anyone else. Here are some examples:

-Matthew has some beginning reader books at school. When asked if he can read the words (they are in Spanish and he is still learning the language), he stated "only in my head." I asked if he reads them to his teacher and he stated "No. I can't read them out loud. Only in my head."

-Matthew checked out an adult level Star Wars novel from his school library. When asked why he chose that book he stated, "So I can read it." I explained that it was a little too long for me to read it to him in a week. He stated, "No. I can read it to myself." I asked him to show me and he stated, "I can only do it in my head."

-Matthew is convinced he swims well enough to join swim team. I asked him to show me that he can swim the length of the pool. He stated, "I can only do it in my head." I told him he will need to be able to show me outside of his head and in the pool before he can join the team.

Matthew is a smart kid and reading will come to him. He is in a dual language program where they teach literacy in Spanish. Since Matthew is just beginning to learn Spanish, he doesn't always know what the word he is reading means so picture clues don't really work. He can read many of the words for objects he knows such as colors, numbers and a few items he uses every day. The rest will come as his Spanish improves. He does understand a lot more Spanish than I thought he would at this time. I speak Spanish to him occasionally at home and he seems to understand a lot of what I say. The reading will come. The experts state the children should be caught up by the end of 3rd grade and most are advanced in reading by the end of 5th grade with the goal that the children will be fluent in English and Spanish by the end of 5th grade. Matthew is in kindergarten so we have a few years to wait to see what happens. Of course, I will continue to work with him over the next few years and he has an amazing teacher who will also continue to work with him.

A Look Back At 2012

Every year is full of ups and downs. There have been studies that show that people who concentrate on the positive or are more optimistic are happier and more grateful. Everyone has things in their lives they wish they could change and we all have days that are better than others. Yet every day is a blessing from God and a reason to celebrate. Even when it doesn't necessarily feel like the day was great or those (hopefully rare) days that you wish you could forget.

In honor of 2012 here is a list of our highlights (in no particular order).

1) Matthew graduated from 4K. Finally our days of paying full-time child care for an infant, toddler or preschooler are over. Matthew did great in 4K.

2) Jacob made swim team. This was a huge accomplishment. He could barely swim the length of the pool in August and worked extremely hard to improve his swimming ability so that he could make the team in September. I have never seen him work so hard or try to hard as he did during tryouts. He made the team and can now swim many laps without stopping.

3) Matthew was promoted to 6 year old swimming lessons. He showed great improvement in December and was moved up to the "big kid" lessons. This was not only due to his improved swimming abilities but also improved behavior and maturity during lessons.

4) Jacob and Matthew learned how to ice skate and got the chance to participate in hockey lessons. This will be a one year only experience since hockey is expensive and the kids have other sports they like just as much.

5) Matthew got to play t-ball after watching his brother play t-ball for the past 3 years. He loved it and was doing really well by the end of the season. He is already looking forward to playing again next year.

6) I got the chance to coach Jacob and Matthew in soccer. I have very limited experience in soccer but I don't need much at this age level.

7) Matthew was accepted into a dual language charter school and loves it. He speaks Spanish most of the day and has been learning a lot.

8) I received a Master's Degree in Social Work. This was a major accomplishment. I thought about quitting several times over the past 3 years but was able to finish it. I now have a social work degree that I can use in my current job or in any other state if I ever want to move or change jobs.

9) Jacob and Matthew have had a great start to kindergarten and 1st grade. Matthew has had a few difficulties over the past few weeks but overall has done very well. Both kids are ahead of grade level in Math and are doing very well academically which is most important to me.

10) We made it through the year healthy. We had a few ups and downs health wise. I made my first trip to the ER as a parent when Jacob was poked in the eye and it was scratched enough to bleed. It was an accident but still pretty traumatic. Matthew was sent home from school early after putting a hood over his head and then walking into a wall trying to be silly. He ended up biting through his lip. No stitches but lots of blood and a very fat lip that is still healing. No broken bones, serious injuries, serious illness and no stitches yet so I call this year a huge success. With my boys, every day without a broken bone is a day to celebrate.

Week of Ups and Downs

It has been a week full of life's ups and downs yet overall it was mostly good. Here is a quick recap of our adventures this week.

Monday: We got to spend a nice quiet evening at home. We really don't have too many of these so it is nice when they come along. I am having a lot of trouble keeping up at work right now so I was able to spend some time working at home while my kids watched TV and played quietly.

Tuesday: I went on a field trip with Matthew's kindergarten class. I always enjoy watching my kids play with other kids and listening to their conversations. Matthew's class amazed me with how well behaved they were. There was actually only one child in all 3 kindergarten classes that got in trouble during the field trip and even he didn't get in any major trouble. Pretty amazing for a public school in larger city. Matthew picked out a green pumpkin and we are trying to decide what to do with it.

Wednesday: Another busy day. Jacob had an early swim team practice and we got home shortly before Matthew's day care bus arrived. We then went to dinner with a good friend who is expecting her first child in December. I always enjoy spending time with her and just wish we were able to spend more time together.

Thursday: What a day! Matthew was really excited about a family party at day care and really wanted me to attend. I was really looking forward to it until nothing would go my way at work. I was sure I was going to be lucky to be home by bedtime much less in time for a party. I called my mom and was very glad when she said she would take Jacob to practice and go to the party with Matthew. Things finally started to go my way at the end of the day and I made it to Matthew's party about half an hour before it ended. I was just in time to enjoy a taco and watch the kids break a pinata. I was then able to greet Jacob after practice and watch Matthew in his karate class before we went home for a quick dinner and bedtime.

Friday: I was very glad to see the week come to an end. I was still feeling a lot of stress about issues a work but knew that it was time to relax and leave it behind. We went to a Halloween party at the Y where the kids dressed as firefighters and played games. They had a great time until about half an hour before the party ended. Matthew was just a little too tired after a full week of school, day care and activities. We ended up leaving a little early but overall it was a great night.

Saturday: Saturday was just crazy but also a lot of fun. We started the day by running out of cinnamon rolls before the last child ate. I had to quickly throw another batch in the oven but it made us a couple minutes late to football. I then found out pictures were rescheduled for that morning. Of course, the kids still had face paint that wouldn't wash off completely from the night before so they weren't really looking their best. The pictures turned out alright but I decided I didn't need to order any since we just ordered school pictures and the kids don't change that much in 2 weeks.

We left football and decided to buy Matthew some ice skates for hockey lessons. Lessons start next week but the kids both had ice skating lessons yesterday. Of course, my bad luck was continuing and the store was busy making us late for ice skating. We would have been about 5 minutes late until we hit a train that stopped on the tracks for about 15 minutes. Ugh! The kids only made it to about 15 minutes of their lessons. Oh, well. They still have one more lesson and then will start hockey lessons on Sundays.

After hockey the day went much better. We went to Schuster's Playtime Farm where the kids got to pet some farm animals, feed the goats and play on a giant inflatable pillow. Aidan was with us and really enjoyed riding on the tracter train. All of the kids picked out pumpkins and this time Matthew chose a white pumpkin. Jacob and Aidan both chose orange pumpkins. I bought everyone a carmel apple and we left the farm and corn maze tired but happy. We got home last night and just collapsed.

Today starts another week and I am hoping it goes well. We only have 3 days of work and school this week then we get a long weekend. I am taking Jacob and Matthew to a water park and hotel for 2 days and Aidan is spending the night next weekend while his mom works. We don't have a lot of big plans for the weekend and I am hoping we will have some extra time to just relax and have fun. And maybe mulch and rake some leaves...

A Day Of Research

Today has been a day of research. Of course, I only got a fraction of what I need to do completed but at least I got a start on it.

I started the day with my normal Sunday morning quiet time with the newspaper. I found a program guide for the school district's recreation department. They had summer camp information in it. I had been looking into some different child care options for Jacob this summer but they were all about the same price as his day care. The school district's program is only a fraction of the price ($105 a week less). They have frequent field trips, weekly swimming lessons and literacy and math activities. Everything I was looking for in a program. The only draw back is that the program is only 9 weeks and there is no camp available for the first week of break. That shouldn't be a problem though. I can take a week of vacation in June (I didn't take vacation last year so I have a lot of time to use) and there is a very fun 2 week program at the end of summer with trips to a Brewers game and water parks.

I also completed research for my internship. The community center received a grant to develop a program for teen girls. Part of the grant is to implement a curriculum on pregnancy prevention for at-risk girls as well as one for teen moms. I actually found evidence based programs for both target populations. I don't know if they are exactly what the center was looking for but at least it is something I can suggest at the meeting next week.

I still have an application to complete for my research project which I hope to finish early this week if not later tonight. Then I can start on some of my homework for this weekend that I never got to. Ugh! I will be so happy when this semester is over. At least spring break is in just a couple of weeks.

On a more fun note, Matthew is continuing to amaze me. I received an email from his 4K teacher describing how he has become a real leader in his classroom and she has no concerns about his social skills or behaviors. She states he has made huge progress this year and she now has him helping her in the classroom and demonstrating good behavior for the other kids. What a difference from his first few weeks there. Tonight he was sounding out words and writing them the way they sounded. I was truly amazed. He won't be 5 until May but is well on his way to succeeding in school. I do admit I am relieved that school is going so well for both of my kids.

Differing Views on Continuing Education

Anyone who has ever met me or talked to me about my views on raising children knows that I value education. Not only do I value education but I also expect my children to excel at school. I have seen children who school was hard for succeed with a lot of hard work and determination. Children who could not read at grade level in early elementary school later making honor roll in high school and being admitted to colleges and universities. School seems to come very easy to my children so I expect that they will do well and eventually go to college. Not going to college will be seen as a disappointment. Even now my kids know they will someday go to college. That's why the following conversations touched me. The first one made me chuckle since he can't really believe I would ever allow this to happen. The second one made me beam with pride and hope that his dreams really do come true. Both of these conversations were on the same morning and occurred about 30 minutes apart.

1st Conversation:

Me: Matthew, I registered you for kindergarten and kindergarten screening.
Matthew: I'm not going to kindergarten.
Me: What do you mean? Of course you are going to kindergarten.
Matthew (laying on the ground): I'm not going ! I'm staying in 4K!
Me: You are going. It will be fun.
Matthew: I'm only going if I can go to this school (not our neighborhood school for grades K-5).
Me: We can argue about this in August.

I then told his wonderful teacher about our conversation. She agreed to talk to him and help him see how much fun it will be.

2nd conversation about 30 minutes later:

Jacob: Mom? Where will I go to middle school?
Me: I'm not sure. They are making a lot of changes right now. It will depend on where we live and what schools and programs are available (they are starting new charter schools as well as planing on starting a lot of new programs in the school district).
Jacob: Where will I go to high school?
Me: I don't know. Maybe the one by our house. We will have to see how you are doing and what our options are then.
Jacob: Where will I go to college?
Me: Where ever you want! I will take you to visit and tour colleges when you get to high school. You can go where ever you want.
Jacob: I want to go to Wisconsin Badgers school!
Me: Then you can. I'll work with you to help you get ready and get accepted. It's a hard school to get into but you are doing great in school. You just need to keep working hard.
Jacob: I'm going to Wisconsin Badgers school!

Update: Matthew later talked to his teachers and my parents about kindergarten. He is now willing to at least try it in the fall. He now says he's just not willing to learn how to read.

Hard Semester

This is going to be the toughest semester of my college career. The course work isn't too bad but the internship is going to be very difficult. It's not that the actual work will be difficult. It's that it will require me to be away from my kids for 4 evenings a week. I absolutely hate being away from my kids. I miss them and really miss watching all of their activities.

I have often wondered if getting my MSW is really worth it. I received my social work certification which is what I really needed to change careers. I've changed careers and now I'm just finishing my last 2 semesters of school. The MSW will allow me to get licensed as a social worker in the future if I ever move to another state. Without it, I may not be able to get a license since my BA is in Criminal Justice if I ever have to move.

So I am left wondering if 6 months of not seeing my children 4 evenings a week is really worth it. Or if I should just quit now so that I can enjoy this time with my children and be happy with the education that I have received. The only other catch is that if I quit now, I would have to repay a $14000 grant I received my first year of school. So is it worth $14,000 to spend a few extra nights with my children or do I just suffer through it?

1st Quarter Completed

Jacob and Matthew have completed their 1st quarter of their public school careers. I attended parent teacher conferences and was very impressed with their progress. They are both ahead of most of their peers academically. Jacob has already completed all of his end of the school year goals and Matthew has started the second quarter curriculum at the end of 1st quarter. I am hoping their academic success will continue.

Jacob has started having nightly homework. He brings a simple phonics level book home with beginning sight words that he is suppose to read three times. I know how important reading is to his future academic success so I actually make him read his assigned book and then also read a book of his choice from our home library. I am happy that he is in the top reading group for his class but that doesn't mean he gets to relax now. I want to make sure he is continuing to practice and progress and doesn't begin to slide.

Math is an area that I haven't really started to emphasize too much. As he gets older I may force him to practice it more but right now it doesn't seem to be necessary. His teacher stated math comes very easy to him and every time they introduce a new concept or ask him to do something a little harder, he easily accomplishes it. Last week he started bringing home basic addition worksheets. I will probably have him do extra math problems if he ever starts to have trouble but right now he is accomplishing math skills for the end of kindergarten or the beginning of first grade so I don't want to push him too hard at home.

Matthew also is finding school is very easy. I was told last week that he is getting to his day care in time for their 4K curriculum. That means he is getting the school district curriculum as well as the day care's which is a little more advanced. I am hopeful that it will give him a little bit of a head start for kindergarten next year. He is really excited about learning to read so I am hopeful he can continue to love reading and learning.

So far their school careers are off to a great start just as I am preparing to end mine. I have most of my work done for this semester which means I just have 2 classes, a research project and an internship to go before I graduate in August. It will feel so great to have this degree and work behind me. Now I just have to complete my licensure exams and I will be all set. I plan to send in the paperwork for those tests next week and hope to take the exam in December.

Fall Fun

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last posted. I got very angry with my cable company (even the person who works there agreed with me about how horrible they are) and cancelled my internet service. Now, there are other companies I could go to for internet but I decided it was thirty dollars a month I could save by cancelling it. In the meantime, I am using the free internet at McDonald's and at work. I can only post on here when I am at McDonald's which means I have to find time around my school assignments and other internet needs. It is working out so far although it is inconvient so I may have to eventually find a new internet provider or go back to the cable company and order it again (Yikes!).

So what has been going on in the past month? A lot and not so much. We have been busy but yet there hasn't been anything really major or exciting (except that Jacob turned 6 year old). Here is a run down of our family's achievements the past month.

- Jacob started kindergarten and continues to love it. He is very proud of himself for learning how to read. It was wonderful to see the excitement on his face when he proudly exclaimed that he was able to read an entire sentence without the teacher's help. Yesterday he was breezing through his Kumon worksheets on writing and reading letters and stated it was too easy. It wasn't too easy when I bought it for him last Spring.

- Matthew has been enjoying 4K. He says his favorite activity is coloring which his teacher confirmed at a conference last week. He is very creative. For example, he took a piece of paper, colored a box and circles and said it was a boat. He then scooted it around the classroom for awhile before suddenly grabbing the glue stick and more paper. He made several more papers with boxes and circles, glued them together and proudly announced he had made a train. He has been working on the train for a couple of days now.

-Matthew and Jacob have both found a real interest in Legos. They are having fun creating their own boats, helicopters and other vehicles. Matthew can spend an hour playing with Legos if we don't have anything else going on.

-Jacob started his first year of flag football. He loves it. It's really the perfect game for him. He loves to chase other kids and be chased so football turned out to be the perfect sport for that. It's his first year and you can tell but he is getting better at it every weekend. Mostly, he is just having fun.

- Swimming lessons are back in full swing. The kids are both doing really well this session. Matthew is listening better and not splashing the other kids unless they want to be splashed. Jacob is able to swim the length of the pool with rotary breathing and can tread water for about 10 minutes. It helps to learn to tread when you can't touch the bottom of the pool and don't want to hang on to your mom all the time.

- I have started my last year of grad school. It was a really rough start with emergencies at work and with babysitter's but it has been better the past few weeks. I am almost halfway through the semester which is a great feeling. Now, I'm just worried about finding an internship for this spring. I have 2 places that I am sure I can do it at but I'm waiting to hear if the university will approve either of them. I have to be much pickier about where I work this time since I have to work full-time and can't take a lot of vacation each week like I did last time. I am sure I will be able to work something out though.

So that is a quick update. I'll post about Jacob's birthday next.

How Much Is Too Much

So I have been mentally preparing myself for the start of public school for a couple of years. Okay. The truth is I have been looking forward to this for a long time. I love watching my children learn and try new activities. I love that our elementary school is much more diverse than our middle class expensive day care center. Jacob is now making friends with children from a variety of socioeconomic backgrounds, cultural backgrounds and family types. He isn't the only kid in his school who has a single mom, he isn't the only child adopted from Ethiopia and he is one of many children who have siblings who have different skin colors. I loved watching the families walk into school yesterday and seeing how many really looked a lot like ours. I knew there would be a few but there were so many ours didn't even stand out. No one batted an eye when my dark blond son and Ethiopian son both called me mom. It was normal there.

So Jacob is off and running. He starts flag football next weekend. He is in youth swim lessons instead of preschool swimming. He has already completed and brought home his first assignment. (He drew a picture of himself and wrote his name. The original is hanging in the classroom but the teacher photcopied them so the parents could see what the kids did their first week). I am now finding that all of those years of preparation are paying off.

So now the question is what type of a mom will I be. The media loves to give moms names such as helicopter moms and tiger moms. So what kind of mom will I be? I'm not sure the name I would give myself. Maybe some of my readers can help me with it. Here is a brief description.

-School is important. My children will be expected to complete all of their work, correct any mistakes and learn as much as they possibly can. Bs will be acceptable but will require addtional work to try to improve them. A's are the goal and A- the lowest possible without extra work with Mom. Extra work may just be having Mom check work over before turning it in or it may be extra math problems and reading time at night.

-Extra work will be completed after home work or on weekends on any subject area with a B- or lower. In elementary school with the number ratings it will be anything below 3 on a scale of 1-4. 3s or 4s just mean a pat on the back and no extra work beyond teacher assigned work. 4s will be rewarded with praise and if there are mostly 4s with a special reward at the end of the semester such as choosing any place to eat dinner or getting to choose a fun activity for the family.

-Missed school days because of illness or emergencies will result in Mom picking up work from the teacher and bringing it home to complete. The work can wait until the child is healthy enough to get out of bed and begin playing but it will be completed before returning to school. Every parent knows when there child begins to act "normal" and show signs of being well again. That is the point where the homework will come out if it wasn't done earlier.

- Frequent communication with teachers. No, I'm not the mom who emails the teacher several times a week to make sure everything is going well. It's not that I don't want to but I realize I need to let my child learn to swim or sink for himself. If the child is bringing home good grades and the work is completed, there may be very little to talk about and it can wait until conferences. If the child is struggling, then frequent emails will be exchanged until the child is no longer struggling. It doesn't have to be daily but it will be as often as necessary to make sure everyone is succeeding. As well as offering to come in and help out when the class has field trips or for special occassions such as Ethiopian holidays.

- I believe teachers should be able to teach the way they want to at the rate they want. As a parent, it is my job to provide extra support if I feel my child isn't learning as much as they should or is struggling in any area. Especially if he has a teacher that may not be pushing as much as other teachers in the area. The teacher won't be hearing me complain that the kids aren't reading enough or learning enough, I will just quietly supplement it at home.

- I won't be hiring tutors to make sure my child is valedictorian. I won't be scheduling "cultural" lessons three or four nights a week to try to make him more well-rounded. He will be allowed to just be a kid, relax and play every day. They are only allowed to be in one sport other than swimming lessons during the week.

So that is current philosophy on parenting. Now I am sure the more experienced parents out there are laughing at me. Who wouldn't? I laugh at new moms too. My expectations and philosophy will change as I learn, my kids learn and life goes on. After all, isn't it just plain life that often gets in the way of our ideals and plans? Hey, life happens. My kids and I will continue to roll with the punches and adjust as needed to meet our lifestyles and needs.

So what kind of label would you give this mom?

Kindergarten Success!

Jacob is a kindergarten success story. He loves it there. I was a few minutes early picking him up yesterday and saw him go to his locker to get his backpack. He was full of smiles and excitement. He has even figured out the trick to getting his locker to open when it sticks!

I decided to walk Jacob home from school yesterday. I remember hating walking home from school but I also realize how much I learned on those walks. It was a chance to just relax and have fun while looking at the sky, grass, insects and world around me. I wanted Jacob to have that same experience. He normally rides the bus to day care but I took yesterday off work so he came home instead.

The walk home as well as much of the past 2 days has been full of stories about the wonderful things he has done and kids he has met. He states they are all his best friends and there aren't any he plays with more than others. I am sure that will change as the year goes on but for now it's great that he likes everyone.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about what our evening routine will look like. Jacob's not thrilled that I am instituting a new "routine" at home but I have noticed that those kids who do best in school are often the ones with a pretty structured home life. So here is a look at what I hope our new routine will be.

5:30 Arrive home. Mom cooks dinner while the kids play or watch TV.

6:30 (or whenever dinner is finished and the table cleared off). Look through Jacob's backpack with him. Discuss homework assignments. Find something positive about each piece of work before discussing what he could have done differently.

6:35 Work on any homework or assignments that weren't completed at school or day care. Check over assignments for the next day.

After homework is completed or additional work completed the following list is completed in order:

- Get backpack ready for the next day. Pack lunch box and place in fridge if not eating hot lunch.

- Play or watch TV. Must be inside the house by 7:30 if playing outside with neighbor's kid.

- 7:45 pm Bath time while I get Matthew ready for bed, read books to him and have -one-on-one time.

- 8:15 pm Read stories and have a few minutes of one-on-one time.

- 8:30 Tucked into bed. Light on with a few books to look at

- 8:45 Lights out and books put away.

That is Jacob's new routine. I am sure it will be adjusted slightly as the year goes on. The bedtime seems a little late but really it's earlier than he went to bed last year (by about half an hour). Since he rarely takes naps at home or day care anymore, I don't think he will require extra sleep. He gets up about 6:45 so he gets a full night's sleep. Matthew goes to bed a little earlier because he seems to need the extra sleep. He also gets up closer to 6:15 or 6:30.

I hope this routine works and the kids both strive from it. Matthew will have a similar routine when 4K starts next week except he doesn't really have any homework or even academic work to look over. He will do a little more structured learning later in the year and I will spend time looking at his work from school also but he won't have the same academic expectations until next year. For him, we will look over his papers together, discuss what he did really well, review anything he might have been working on and then just go play until 7:15 when his bath and bedtime routine begin.

There are also some nights where our routine just won't work. Tuesday nights Matthew has swimming lessons from 6:30 until 7:00 and Jacob has lessons from 7 until 7:45. We will get home around 8:15 and both kids will have to get ready for bed, read stories as a family and then go to bed at the same time. Thursday nights I have class so I will have to pull out any homework for Jacob before he goes to his babysitter's house, read any notes or newsletters on my break at school and then go over his worksheets Friday night. The babysitter will get him ready for bed and he will have to sleep in the car on the way home. I am hoping he won't be too tired on Friday mornings but it is the best I can do for this year. At least I only have class one day a week so it is only one late night a week.

The Start of Something Big

Today was the start of something big. Big kid school has begun. My little baby I first met 4 years ago in Ethiopia is now in kindergarten.



It was a little bit of shock to see how small he looked next to all the 3rd, 4th and 5th graders. He has been one of the big kids in his preschool program for the past year. Now he is one of the little kids again. And he did look little. It was a little hard for me to walk away with him surrounded by so many big kids outside a very big school. Even if the teachers were right there.

I worried about him all day. I knew in my mind he would be fine but my heart ached. Was he having fun? Was he making friends? Was his teacher as nice as she seemed? Would he be okay on the bus? Would they remember to help him get on the right bus?

In the end he did great. He loves that they have recess 3 times (including lunch). His teacher made him eat his vegetables at lunch which he didn't like but I love. He played games and made a lot of new friends. He saw some old friends who are in different classes when he was at recess and lunch. He loved riding the bus and proudly told me he is the 3rd stop. He complained when I picked him up from the school age day care classroom because he wanted more time to play with his friends. Many of them were the same kids he was in 4K with last year. They all went to different elementary schools but get to see each other after school.

Jacob had a great first day. I missed him and will continue to miss the baby he used to be. Yet I continue to be amazed at the young man he is becoming. He was exhausted after not sleeping well last night (he kept waking up asking if it was time to eat breakfast yet) and a full day of fun. I caved in and let him watch a movie on my computer tonight. Matthew was feeling left out of all the kindergarten excitement so he got to watch too. His new school year starts next week. He will be part of the 1st 4K class in our district.

Registration, conference and school supplies done!

There is nothing more to do but wait now. Jacob is registered for school, his supplies are packed and we have been practicing getting to school early for the past week. Matthew will be registered this week and we meet with his teacher Wednesday night.

Registration: Jacob will be in kindergarten and Matthew will be in 4K this year. The way the district set up the 4K system this year (it will probably change again next year) is that 4K students from our attendance area are bussed to an elementary school about 1 mile from our home. Not too bad but it means the kids will be attending different schools with different start times. Matthew starts class at 7:40 and Jacob begins at 8:30 so we have 50 minutes to drive 1 mile. Enough time to come back home for a quick breakfast or cartoon (or maybe some extra reading if this mom has her way).

Ready Set Go conferences: I absolutely love these. All elementary students and their parents have an individual conference at the beginning of the year to discuss the students. It is a chance to talk about our family and how we handle issues such as making gifts for father's day. It is also a chance to talk about how we celebrate adoption and Ethiopian culture and find ways to bring some of that culture into Jacob's classroom.

The teachers also write short individual learning plans for the children. The learning plans address academic goals and social/emotional goals. Jacob's teacher was really impressed with how much he already can do. There was another teacher who works with children in small groups who need extra help. She stated it was clear Jacob would definitely not be one of those kids. His goals for the year are to be reading words by the end of 1st semester (he can already read and spell some) and reading books by the end of the year. My guess is he will be reading books long before the end of the year. He's already getting really close. His social goal is just to work on building his confidence which he lacks when it comes to learning new skills. Something he is getting better at but still could use some improvement.

Matthew has his ready set go conference next week. I already spoke to his teacher on the phone about some more sensitive issues but am looking forward to talking to her face to face this week with Matthew. I think it's important Matthew see that I am working with his teacher and we will have the same expectations. My goals for him is to be able to recognize all of his letters by the end of the 1st semester and be able to write them and know their sounds by the end of the year. For social/emotional it will just be that he contiune to work on social skills and following directions. Standard 4 year old preschool goals. I would also like to get rid of some of these tantrums he has had in recent days. I'm not sure where they are coming from but this is definitely a phase that I hope is short lived.

Last night Jacob and I packed up his backpack and school supplies. He needs 1 more notebook because I accidentally got one college lined. I can use that one (my school supplies are also here and ready to go) and I will one more for him this week. Matthew's supplies are also ready to go but he was really tired last night and fell asleep before we could pack them up. Jacob and I will drop off his supplies Thursday morning and Matthew will take his with him on Wednesday when we have his conference.

Then all we have to do is wait. And continue to practice getting up early and reading together. Jacob starts school Sept. 1 and Matthew begins Sept. 6. I start my last year of graduate school (woo hoo!!!) Sept 8. I really like Jacob and Matthew's teachers and believe this will be a great year for both of them. No more bad day cares (they will stay at the center they are at now for after school care) and no more worrying about if their daycares are giving them what they need to be successful. There school careers are starting and mine will be ending in just 12 months.

Fall Plans In Place

Everyone in my home will be attending public school this fall. This was a decision that I have had a lot of trouble making.

I'll start with me. I will be completing my last year (3 semesters) of grad school. It will feel so great to finally be finished. I really questioned whether I wanted to return after the Spring semester. It was a really difficult semester. I had a new job, was pregnant for part of it before losing the baby in a miscarriage and completed Matt's adoption. It was really just too much. I think I would have struggled without school but the demands of school were just too much. Then things settled down the last few weeks and I was able to pass all of my classes and actually did better than I thought I would.

Next year will still be difficult. I am worried about completing my internship in the spring and summer. I will have to work 16 hours a week at my internship as well as my normal 40 hours a week at my job. My employer has said they will help me as much as they can. I can do some work at home for both the internship and regular job which will help. I can also work the internship through spring break and break between semesters which will also help decrease the hours a little. A lot of how easy it will be to get all of the work done will depend on my caseload at work. Since I can't control my caseload, I'll just know that I have to work hard and it is only for a few months.

Jacob will be starting kindergarten in the fall. Another decision that was a little difficult but probably the easiest one of all. Jacob will be attending public school for several reasons. I like our school system and know he will get a good education there. I have spent quite a bit of time in the schools and know the teachers really care and Jacob will do well there. He will also have more diversity than he would get in public school or the neighboring school districts. His elementary school has a mission statement that includes celebrating the cultural history of all of it's students.

Matthew will be attending 4K in the public schools this fall. This was a little more difficult decision. I knew I wanted him to attend 4K but it was hard to decide where he should attend. The district has several sites parents can choose from. Originally he was going to attend at the Y so he would have cheaper wrap around care but I was concerned about him changing day cares. He has been at our current center for just over a year. It's the longest he has ever attended one daycare and he has been thriving there. He has some trouble with transitions so I was concerned about how changing daycares again would affect him.

I considered leaving Matthew at the daycare he is at now for 4K but it is very expensive. It would have cost about $240 a week to attend there. I could save a lot of money if I had him go to the Y and had Jacob attend daycare either at the school or at the Y. This would have meant having kids at 2 different centers that needed to be picked up every night which is not something I was looking forward to but I wasn't sure I wanted to spend the extra money.

I mentioned to the daycare that we were leaving in the fall because it was too expensive to stay there. I needed to save the extra money especially since I no longer receive a subsidy for Matthew (it ended after his adoption). The director spoke to me and we began discussing discounts if both children attend and if Matthew attends 4K off site in the morning. I called the school district last week and they stated they would provide transportation for him to and from 4K at a nearby elementary school for free. The director stated this would be fine and he will be charging me a lot less every week.

It is now affordable to have the kids attend public school for 4K and 5K and daycare at the same place they have been going. I will be saving about $800 a month in daycare costs. The kids will have the security of attending the same daycare when they aren't in school. Matthew will be able to attend "big kid" school 3 hours a day and will be a nice way to transition to full-day school next year.

So after months of struggling with trying to decide where everyone should go to school, the decisions are finally made. Everyone has spots reserved in the desired programs and registration has begun. Now, I just need to swallow hard and begin looking for sales on school supplies.

Kindergarten Here He Comes!

Jacob is now registered for kindergarten. I spent a lot of time the past couple years trying to decide which school and program to place him in. I eventually decided to go with my very diverse public school. I have no reason not to send him there and have been impressed the few times I have dealt with them in the past.

Jacob attended registration Monday night and screening this morning. The teacher said he is on track in all areas and ready to begin kindergarten. She showed me the sheet that said he isn't behind in any area and told me he was fun to work with. Jacob is nervous about kindergarten but feeling better after meeting a couple of the teachers. Our next step is just to attend the visit later this spring and see a classroom.

It's hard to say goodbye to my baby. I am so proud of the child he has become but also miss the baby. It was 4 years ago today that I held him for the first time. A day I will never forget. One of the best days in my life.

Too Little Time

So everyone once in awhile I post on here about how overwhelmed I am feeling. Most of the time being a single parent really doesn't seem that difficult to me. Or at least not anymore difficult than for any other parent. It might be because I just love being a mom or it could be because I have never parented in a 2 parent home so I have no idea what that feels like. Right now though, I am really wishing I had another adult here to help me. Don't get me wrong I am still very glad I am a mom and don't regret my children one bit. I even still hope to have a baby some day. But for tonight I am feeling overwhelmed and wishing there was another adult here.

Here is what is on my list of things going on making me feel overwhelmed.

1) Kindergarten screening. I registered Jacob for kindergarten today. I knew he would need to attend screening but I didn't expect them to only have times on Wed or Thu this week or next between 8:30 and 3:00. I just happen to have training all of those days and can't get off work. I'll call the school tomorrow but can't do much if we can't come in someother time. I just wish they would have given us more warning and maybe some evening appointments.

2) Doctor Appoiontments. I have 2 appointments in the next month. My boss is good about me leaving work for them but I still feel bad missing work when I just started this job.

3) School blues. It is the middle of the semester and I am definitely feeling the stress. It gets like this around this time every semester but with the job it just seems to be a little tougher.

4) School and licensing requirements. I am trying to get instructors to email me the course syllabus for courses from last year so I can submit them for my social work certificate. I need this to pass probation at my job next year.

Only one of these actually has to do with my children but I still would like someone to lean on right now. It seems like life is just moving a little too fast. Thankfully, it's almost spring break and I will have some time to just rest and catch up.