Martin Luther King Jr's I Have A Dream

I am sitting on my couch on a rare evening with time to relax. These evenings don't come often so I am always grateful when they do. I ran across some reruns of The Cosby Show and decided to watch. They just played part of MLK's I Have A Dream Speach. I a where am always moved by the part where he talks of "black children and white children will hold hands as brothers." That happens all the time in my family and I admit it is a beautiful sight.

Race doesn't often enter into our thoughts. Occassionally something will happen that will make us think about it. Jacob sometimes talking about wanting a family member with brown skin like his. We have friends from many different races and live in a very diverse community. Despite all of these blessings, Martin Luther King Jr's words still remind me how far our country has come and how blessed we all are to live here.

Happy Birthday Nelson Mandela!

Happy birthday to a great man. Nelson Mandela is turning 91 years old today and still fighting to make his country and the world a better place. He is truly a hero that I admire. He is also the person on the top of my list that I would love to meet. In the midst or recent news coming out of Philadelphia, it is nice to be reminded that people are still fighting for justice and equality throughout the world. So today, I say a prayer of thanks for President Mandela and the wonderful work being done by brave heroes throughout the world.

No Excuse!

There is absolutely no excuse for this kind of behavior. None. As a member of law enforcement, this makes me even angrier. Although I do sometimes see this behavior here, it isn't this blatant and definitelly not on a public website. Disciplinary hearings and diversity training seem to be needed desperately. We have made so much progress but obviously have a ways to go. I know our sheriff would not put up with this kind of behavior. Especially making posts while on his time. I hop e that the people of Philadelphia stand up and make sure that all officers and people are treated with respect. I guess I can cross Philedalphia off my list of places to visit in the near future. I won't give any of my tourism dollars to a government that allows this kind of abuse to take place.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/07/17/police.racism.lawsuit/index.html

Deep Conversation

Jacob and I were getting ready for bed last night when he heard the horrific story of the shooting at the US Holocaust Museum. He asked me why someone shot the police officer. I tried explaining that sometimes people don't like someone because of the color of their skin or how they believe in God and Jesus. Jacob looked sad and confused. He asked if people sometimes don't like me because of the color of my skin. I told him that yes, that does happen but in this case it was because the police officer had brown skin like him.

Jacob stated that it was bad to only look at someone's color and I told him he was right. That people should only consider if the person is nice and fun not whether they look a certain way or a certain color. We went on to discuss what to do if somone said something mean about the way he looks. He agreed that he should tell a teacher or me and then find someone nice to play with.

The whole conversation left me sad. Sad that we live in a world where I have to prepare my son for the comments I know he will hear someday. For comments made only because his skin has more pigmentation than mine and not because of the type of person he is inside. I was sad for the things M may hear someday because his family is multi-racial and multi-cultural. I was also sad that a three-year-old boy was left wondering why that bad man shot someone just because he had skin like his.

I love the different colors and cultures that make up my family. We get to explore many different cultures within our family and within our friends. I wouldn't trade any of it for anything and I hope my children also grow up to celebrate our family's uniqueness. I also hope I will live to see the day when my children don't have to worry about teaching their children about racism and hatred. Instead, it will just be something covered in history books. Ahh, that will be a great day.

For now, I take comfort in knowing my son loves his brown skin and Ethiopian culture. He is proud of his birth country and his family today. He loves his brother, M. Whether M stays or not, he will always be a member of this family and Jacob's first American brother. Despite their skin colors, they share a lot in common. Starting with their love for eachother and their love for our family.

Diversity

I was reminded last night how lucky I am to live in this community. I took 3 kids to the movies (see previous post). The children were white, black and hispanic. With 3 kids of obviously different races, I would expect to attract questions or at least some curious stares. Yet every time I take children from different racial backgrounds, I don't even get a second glance. The only attention or comments I get are from people asking if they can help me and comments about having young children. Yesterdays overheard comment was that I must be really brave to take three young children to the movies.

This lack of interest in our diverse family is not something I take for granted. I often read stories on other blogs or hear them from other families about their experiences. They often get questions that are not based just in curiosity and glances that are not just curiosity. As I wait to hear about graduate school and begin making plans for a career move (after the economy improves), I need to remember how comfortable we are here. With all of the multiracial and multicultural families here, we are not an oddity. Just another family with young children.

The only exception is at my church. I am known as the woman with all the kids. I kind of like that. And it does fit. I not only take my own two kids but also 3 teenagers with me. Sometimes, an extra child tags along and people wonder if I am fostering or adopting another one. The answer right now is no. I can't afford a minivan and I don't have enough room in my car for anymore kids. Maybe in a few years I can add another child to the family.

Congratulations President Elect Obama!

No matter what your political beliefs. Last night was a day to celebrate. People from generations who can remember segregation and the battle for civil rights came together with people who have only read about it in history books to elect the first African American man to president of the United States of America.

Over the past several months, we have seen the hatred and racism are still alive in America. I see it on a regular basis at my job from both the people I supervise and the people I work with. I am thankful that my suspicions are correct. The racism that I see there is not as strong throughout the rest of the country and even my city. Things have improved quickly over the past few decades and it will continue to improve.

No one knows what kind of president Mr. Obama will be. While the days months and years ahead will determine his quality as a president, today we can celebrate this victory for all Americans. The world and the country have changed for the greater today. President-Elect Obama may be the first president who is classified as a "minority" and he won't be the last. The doors to the presidency are now open to all American (or at least those born American).

Congratulations President Obama and thank you for breaking down barriers for all of my children.

Was I Out Of Line?

Last week, I had a very disturbing incident at work. As many of you know, I work in corrections. A man was moved into my housing unit after making racist comments in two other units. He came to the desk telling me he needed to be moved because he couldn't be around African Americans. He had another name he used for them and started calling them rapists and other names.

A picture of my son flashed through my mind and a lecture began. Everytime the man interjected with something else racist, I just kept talking. I told him that I would never segregate the unit and that no one in the jail would. I went on to tell him that he did not ever have the right to judge someone by the color of their skin and that his comments were very racist. He demanded to speak to a supervisor and I gave him a grievance form to file. He then stated he was calling his attorney. I told him I would welcome a call from his attorney so that I could tell him that I would not listen to the racist garbage being spewed from this inmate.

The next day I noticed this inmate socializing with African American inmates. Oen of those inmates came out to state that the inmate was not nearly as bad as he had been the previous day. The inmate came out a short time later and stated he thought about what I had said. He stated he realized he was wrong and that he didn't want to be that angry person anymore.

I don't know if the changes in this person are permanent or not but I do know that at least for now I made a difference. I just wish I could affect more people and help more people realize that anger and hatred is not the answer.

A New America

Today marks a very important day in American history. It amazes me and humbles me to think about where this country has come in the past 50 years. 50 years ago many people had difficulty accepting civil rights for African Americans. African Americans dreamed of being allowed to work in the same jobs, go to the same schools and eat in the same resteraunts as their white neighbors. People could not imagine the day when African Americans and White Americans would have the same opportunities.

Today we are closer to that day than ever before. Yes, I know that racism exists and that we have work to do. I also know that racism is not as prevalent as it once was. Today the American public nominated an African American man for president of the United States of America. Whether or not you are a supporter of Sen. Obama or of the Democratic party, this event is monumental.

It brings tears to my eyes to know that my son is able to see a real life example of equality and dreams coming true. To know that the color of his skin will not determine his future or how far he can go. We may have work to do to end racism in America, but we have come a very long way.

Senator Clinton opened up a new door for women and Senator Obama a new door for minorities. I thank them both for their bravery and their courage. They are trully American heroes who have done great things for the future of this country and the future of our children.

All Means All

These are the words of my pastor, Pastor Sue, in today's sermon. She was speaking about events at the church conference she attended last week. Pastor Sue was discussing the importance of allowing all people, regardless of race, gender, socio-economic background or sexual orientation into our church family and worship services. Our church as a whole denomination has been split for some time in the belief about sexuality. I try not to judge others and this includes their sexuality. I do not want God to judge me harshly because I spent my life judging the lives of other people. My local church also tries to welcome people from all backgrounds and sexualities into the life of the church. While gays and lesbians are not officially allowed to teach Sunday School classes or take leadership roles in the church, they are welcome to attend religious classes, services and church events. Most members try to reach out to all new members despite our differences and make everyone feel welcome.

I try to live my personal life in much the same way. I have friends who do not agree with homosexuality and openly preach against it. At the same time, I have friends who are gay and do not hide their sexuality. While I don't expect these people to ever be comfortable together, I do accept them as my friends and love them for what they do bring to my life. I teach my son to be tolerant, respectful and friendly to all people including those who have beliefs different from ours.

Jacob will grow up seeing people of different ethnicity, skin colors, religious beliefs and values come through our home. He will see me welcome the birth parents of my foster children into the house as friends. He will see me discuss parenting decisions with people who have made poor choices that led them to have their children removed from their homes. He will see me say hi and talk to the homeless people as we walk downtown. He will see me walk away from the person who uses racist or hateful language but he will never hear me be disrespectful to them. I try to be friendly to people who are not friendly to me in hopes that I can show him how to handle hurtful and negative situations peacefully. He sees me politely try to educate people about HIV/AIDS, poverty, Ethiopia, adoption, foster care, race relations and other difficult subjects.

I wish I could say that all means all in my home. I try my best. I will admit that there are people I do not feel safe around and will not allow near me or my son. I will probably always make poor choices myself at times and say things while driving in the car or after a difficult confrontation that I should not say. He may see me shy away from people who I believe will have a negative attitude towards us and our family. At the same time, I will do my best to show tolerance and will tell Jacob when I make a mistake and that I was wrong.

In the end, Jacob will grow up to make his own decisions on what he believes and how he wants to live his life. I can only hope that I am showing him a good example of what it means to be a Christian and a loving person more times than not.

A Letter From The Pool

Dear Mom of the little blond girl at the pool,

Jacob and I had a great time swimming at the new pool. The sprinklers were fun and the slide was fast!

I am sorry you chose not to join us. You chose to direct your daughter away from us whenever we came near. You refused to share your toy and wouldn't let your daughter play with the toys Jacob touched. You seemed nervous whenever we were nearby.

I realize you may not see too many families that look like ours. You probably come from a neighborhood where everyone looks alike. Maybe you have never had friends who did not come from your culture or part of the world. I just want you to know what you are missing.

While your daughter sat shivering under her towel (because you finally led her away from the pool), Jacob and I had a great time playing together. Jacob barely noticed you and really did not care that you were not being friendly. I noticed but only felt pitty. You see, we do not care if you agree with our family or the way we look.

Jacob and I went to the pool to have fun and play. We are sorry you chose not to join us. I hope that next time you will show your daughter how to share, be friendly and play with others. If not, I will continue to feel sorry as your daughter is forced to watch from the side.

Jacob and I will be in the pool when you are ready to join us. Until that time, enjoy watching from the side.

Sincerely,

The beautiful family from the pool.

Good and Bad on Race in America

I thought this would be a wonderful month as I think about how far America has come in treating everyone equally. Yes, I know that racism is still alive today but I keep hoping it is getting better. The current presidential elections are a great example of how far we have come. The majority of Americans are looking at issues and not gender or race. Yea! No matter who is elected just that fact that race, gender and even to a certain extent religion, are not the big factors they once were. For that, I am happy and excited.

At the same time I also want to scream. Maybe after I get over the headache. I have spent two days at work listening to a co-worker talk about my son as if he was property. He referred to adoption as "leasing" children and that he isn't really a part of my family. Yes. I told him to stop and corrected him but it didn't do any good. He just voiced his opinion to another person who chose to ignore him.

As if that weren't bad enough, I have seen and heard racism like I have never heard it before after an African-American man was promoted. Yes. I told people to stop but once again no one listened. I finally was able to find a place to hide for awhile but not after the migraine was full-blown. I really don't know what to do. My supervisor has made it very clear (by threatening to discipline me) not to say anything and just live with it. I do know that I need the job for at least awhile and that quitting is not an option now. It may be in the future and I am certainly looking.

Until then, I'll take the advice of a co-worker who found me hiding. I will come home and hug my son every night. I will thank God that we have a more diverse group of people to choose from for president. I will be grateful that the greater American society is more advanced and less bigoted than a small number of people I am forced to work with today. And, I will continue to tell those few co-workers to stop with the hateful and disrespectful comments.

For the rest of my co-workers and society. Let me say this. If you don't speak out against racism and are willing to sit quietly and listen to some spew hateful comments, you are a part of the problem. You may not be racist yourself but just sitting by and accepting it is saying that you are accepting of the person's views. Please. Don't tolerate it. It is too important for all of our children regardless of race, religion, gender or political views.