Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A Little Disappointing

I just received word that all communications with Ethiopian birth families are being stopped. Apparently, this is an order from the US government in Ethiopia. I heard it is affecting all international adoptions and not just from Ethiopia.

This new rule is sad for all people involved in the adoption. I saw the relief on my son's Ethiopian mother's face after we met and she was able to see her son would be cared for and loved. I promised to keep her updated on Jacob and was really hoping to have an ongoing relationship with her. I still plan to bring Jacob back to Ethiopia when he gets older but we may not be able to see his birth mother now. This also is sad for all involved. His Ethiopian family will not be able to watch him grow through letters and pictures. I won't be able to ask them questions that I have or Jacob has about his family's past. Jacob will not be able to meet the person who gave him life and who continues to love him today.

I hope that this rule changes as time goes on. It is a huge loss to everyone and goes against the current beliefs in what is best for the adopted child. Time will tell. Jacob and I will still return to Ethiopia when he is older (assuming it is safe to visit there). We will continue to talk about his Ethiopian family, pray for them and look at their picture.

I continue to believe in ethical adoptions of any child who needs a family. I believe that all children who need a family should be adoptable as long as the adoption follows ethics and international law. If this rule helps to prevent unethical practices, then it may be a good law. It is still sad for those people affected but some bad practices by a very few people are even sadder. I continue to work towards a second adoption and will continue to advocate for all children. That includes children in the USA and children in other countries. For tonight, I will mourn a relationship that will not be allowed to continue.


Hearts of Hope said...

We had heard that this only affects Children's Home Society, as they often take children into care with two living parents, making the whole "orphan status" a bit messy. Other agencies are being allowed to continue with visits, as long as the everyone realizes NO money can change hands.

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