The Best Valentine Ever!

I received the best valentine ever last year. It was Valentine's Day 2007 that I received the phone call that we had made it through court and I could travel March 10. I made a frantic call to my dad who started calling the travel agent for tickets. I called work and told them I was leaving on March 8 to travel to Ethiopia to meet my son. I can be single the rest of my life but Valentine's Day will always be special in my heart.

This year I received the second best valentine ever. I received a card and some soap from my son. The card was "signed" by him and given to me with a huge grin on his face. Jacob may be my best valentine's day gift but his cards, art projects and smiles will always be special.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone (one day late)!

Celebrating Ethiopia and Adoption

I gave a presentation on Ethiopia and adoption at my church. It was a presentation for a group of church members over 55 years old. I really enjoy teaching people about the culture and history of Ethiopia. I want people to see the rich culture of the country and not just the extreme poverty. Hopefully, they will take the information and learn to appreciate the country. At least a comple people seemed interested in trying to find ways to help the people in Ethiopia so that is always good too.

A New Bed!

As part of our process to prepare for a foster child, Jacob is changing bedrooms. When he first came home, I was planning on having au pairs live here and watch him. I gave Jacob the smaller of the spare rooms so that the adults would have the larger rooms. Now that we are preparing for a new child to live here, I decided it was time to give Jacob the larger room. I also need to make sure that I have him ready to move out of his crib/toddler bed in case we need the crib for a young toddler or infant.

I took Jacob to the store and let him pick whatever bed he wanted. His eyes grew wide and he smiled from ear to ear as he yelled, "Choo choo bed!" Our family friend, Diane, helped us pick the bed up later that day and put it together. Jacob now loves his choo choo bed. He isn't crazy about sleeping in it at night but he has never been crazy about sleeping in his own bed at night. Hopefully with time, he will learn to spend the night in his room. For now, just having it there and using it for naps is a start.

A Night Alone

Last night was the first night I have been away from Jacob in the almost eleven months I have had Jacob. It wasn't planned and I am very grateful my dad agreed to take him in the middle of the night for me.

I had an incident occur at work at 10:30 last night. I normally get off at 11:00 and pick Jacob up from the babysitters' house after that. It is very rare that I am late getting off and when I am my dad will take him and we spend the night at his house. I am usually there within an hour or so.

Last night was different. I am one of only a handful of Spanish speakers at work. The incident at 10:30 resulted in a large amount of paperwork. While I was just starting the hour plus of paperwork, another incident occurred that tied me up for two more hours. I had spoken to my dad at midnight and was told to just leave Jacob at their house and sleep at mine when I got off. At the time, I thought I would be home shortly after 1:00 AM. I was wrong. I was finally cleared to leave work at 3:45 AM! I am so glad these types of nights are extremely rare!

I got home shortly after 4 AM and went directly to bed. I got up at 8:30 AM to take the kids I mentor to church and meet my parents and Jacob for breakfast. I was happy to see Jacob again and really did miss him I just wasn't happy t only get 4+ hours of sleep.

Jacob is now in bed. As soon as I am sure he is asleep, I will be going to sleep myself. We had a busy day despite my lack of sleep and I look forward to writing about it soon. For now, I think it is time to dream about our big plans for tomorrow and the rest of the week.

Remembering Court

It was one year ago yesterday that Jacob's case made it through the Ethiopian courts. On the other side of the world in a different continent, country and culture, a little boy I had never met was declared my son. It would be a few weeks before I would be allowed to travel and meet him. I wouldn't even know that my case was approved until next week. Stay tuned for the anniversary of many important milestones in Jacob's journey to our home and family. It has been a busy, wonderful and blessed year.

God Bless....

The past 5 days have been very difficult days for Jacob. His favorite word is "no" this week. He even says it when he means yes and has to quickly correct himself. Although he is only doing slightly better with being cooperative, I was reminded about how sweet he can be tonight in the car. The following is what I heard him saying as we drove down a snow covered highway.

"Uncle Cuck (Uncle Chuck)
Papi (Grandpa)
Ma (Grandma)
Mommy
Jacob
Uncle Cuck
Amen
Yeah Pray!"

This is the list that Jacob normally says at bedtime when I ask him who he wants to pray for. It is hard to stay angry and frustrated at someone who can be so sweet.

Special Needs

I have discovered many parents have a fear of the unknown. They want a child without any "special needs" They often forget that we all have special needs. Some are mental, some physical and some are a combination. When parents give birth to a child, they love that child from the moment they see it. They don't make judgements based on the child's appearance or how much it cries. As the child grows, they raise the child to their best ability.

Jacob was a child who was labeled as being at risk of having long term special needs. While the chances of him having serious long term problems were minimal, many prospective parents turned away. It was lucky for me and I believe he is happy to be my son. It is still sad that so many parents are looking for the perfect child. That child does not exist.

Jacob has proven to the doctors and to me that he does not have any of the long term problems they (not me) feared. He is physically and mentally healthy. He is also 2 1/2. He does have special needs but they just aren't labelled as that. You see, every child has abilities in some areas and is only "average" in others. He may not need special services or medications or surgery. He needs a loving family that supports him and encourages him. It is what every child needs no matter what kind of special services they require.

As a parent, it is my job to expose Jacob to as much as I can and help him find his way. He has some natural physical abilities that are not possessed by other members of our family. He was walking 4 months before most children in orphanages. He is mastering motor skills most children do not master until 3 years of age. He knows that "h" is the first letter in happy meal and points out every "h" he sees even when in the middle of another word. Yet he is "average" in his language skills. He is still struggling with learning his ABCs and counting past 2.

This is where he is today. It may not be where his talents are in the future. He could grow up to be a great writer, a great artist or a star athlete. He could also grow up to be "average" working in a business, stocking shelves, serving food, or teaching children. It doesn't matter to me. I will be a successful parent as long as I have given him the tools and opportunities to become the best Jacob he can be. Special needs don't scare me. Not giving him the tools he deserves terrifies me.

The above pictures are some of the ways I try to help him learn now. Through cooking, he learns that things look different and taste different after being exposed to heat. He learnes how to pour, stir and measure. He learns that biting into a hot cookie can burn his mouth and he must wait for it to cool down. Through going outdoors in winter, he learns about snow, ice and cold weather. He learns that he is warmer when moving than when standing still. He learns that the sun can be very bright and warm or very bright and still cold. Through scarves and bandanas, he learns to dress himself and express himself through play. By banging on the drum, he learns about rhythm, vibrations and sounds.

I try to expose Jacob to many different things through play and every day life. It is my job as a parent. It is his job as a person to learn about himself and what gifts he has to offer the world. It would be the same if he had medical, emotional or psychological problems.