Handling Father's Day

Every holiday has it's challenges. Some holidays require trying to think of the perfect gift for people who really don't need much. Others require large meals that require planning and grocery shops. They often involve travelling, camping and trying to gather friends and family. They also can be fun. Father's Day is no different.

Father's Day has unique challenges in single mom households. They are many of the same challenges tht Mother's Day has for households headed by only fathers or by grandparents. If I had my way, Americans would celebrate one special day entitled "loved one's day" where the people who care for us or have cared for us would be honored. That is not the way that our culture chooses to celebrate so I am left to try to be creative in the way I handle Father's Day.

Jacob is lucky to have many special men in his life. The biggest male role model is definitelly Papi (Grandpa) but he also has other male friends and family members who love him. I had already decided that Jacob would make a Father's Day gift for a special man in his life and this year Papi is an easy choice. It is not the only challenge that we are facing though.

Jacob has been preparing for a Father's Day celebration at his school. The children will sing songs for the special men in their lives and they have been talking about fathers. Jacob knows that he will be a "daddy" someday and that only girls can be a "mommy." He also knows that families are all different and have different people in them. Our family has a Mommy, Jacob, Uncle Chuck, Grandma and Papi.

Today Jacob and I were playing with his legos. We were playing with an adult cheetah and it's two cubs. I commented to Jacob that the mommy was looking for it's babies. He stated, "No. It's a daddy. There isn't a mommy." I asked if he meant that he was the daddy and that the jaguar family didn't have a mommy. He stated yes and the daddy jaguar then took the cubs for a ride in a car.

Next week Jacob is having a school performance to celebrate Father's Day. I invited his grandfather but he is busy and unable to attend. Originally, I thought I would just keep Jacob home from school that day. I changed my mind after watching him practice his songs and the fun he had at the Mother's Day party. I will go and support him. I know that I am not the only single mom in his school and hope I won't be the only single mom at the program. If I am, that is fine. It is more important that Jacob be allowed to participate if he wants to than my discomfort at going alone. I try to be supportive of everything he does and do not want him to be left out of parties and performances just because our family does not have a dad.