Jacob has wanted a little sister for a long time. I don't blame him. I want a little girl very badly as well. There are some days where I want it less than others but the desire never leaves completely.
So what is the problem? Well to begin with, I have only been a parent for 2 1/2 years and have 2 children. The youngest has only been here for a little over a year and his process is not completed yet. It won't be for a very long time. Possibly two more years. I wish it would be quicker but I can see it won't be.
The other huge problem is that I am overwhelmed with school, work and parenting. School is giving me the chance to change careers to a job I really enjoy and am looking forward to. I don't want to slow down because I don't want to delay that dream any longer than necessary. I don't want to change careers before I get the degree because it would severely limit my options.
Work is work. It pays the bills so even though leaving would make school and life much easier, it is not an option. I would love to win the lottery but it costs money to play and I have better things to throw my money away on.
So, I will have to wait for my daughter. I will find her someday. It just won't be today or even this year. It probably won't be until I settle into a new job. Unless I can find some rich man to marry and support us in the meantime :) Just kidding.
Next month is national adoption month. It is a good reminder of how blessed I am and a chance to celebrate my children and my family. M's case will progress, school will be over in just a few weeks and I have a week off work coming soon.