Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Court 3 Years Ago Yesterday

I wouldn't know it for a few more days but I was a mom 3 years ago yesterday. That was the day that the Ethiopian court officially recognized Jacob as my son. His name became Mitiku Heather ( insert last name). I was oblivious to it. All I knew was that I was anxiously waiting for a little boy across the world.

What I also didn't know was that the little boy was feeling angry and sad that his mom hadn't come and gotten him yet. He was feeling sad that other kids were meeting their mommies but he still didn't have one. How do I know this? Jacob has told me countless times since then. He said it the first day I met him when he quietly clung to me. He said it every time I returned him to the orphanage and he screamed. He says it in words today and sometimes in body language when he suddenly gets quiet and angry. He will look at me and say, "Mom! I wanted a mom and you didn't come fast enough. I'm angry!"

While those words hurt my soul and I wish he hadn't had to go through that pain, I am so very glad we are a family today. He's right. I didn't come soon enough. I didn't find him right away when I was approved to be matched with a child. I didn't come while I waited for the court process. I didn't come while he watched child after child come and leave and he still didn't have anyone to call mom.

Eventually I would come. A day he and I will always remember. It wasn't as soon as either of us would have liked but it was as quickly as I could come. It was when I was legally his mom and had permission to travel. It was a wait worth waiting but one that was painful none the less.

So to Jacob, all I can say is I'm sorry. I am so glad you are here and that we are a family.

To all the other children waiting for their new mommies, I say hang in there. It will be worth the wait no matter how difficult it may be now. You are all in my prayers and I hope you find your families soon.

1 comment:

WICarrie said...

How wonderfully expressed, Heather.