Frustrating

I knew being a single parent would be difficult some days. Just being a parent can be difficult. I just didn't realize how frustrating trying to juggle work and my kids could be.

I have a job that requires me to work three weekends a month. When Jacob was younger, it didn't really matter. Weekend childcare is more expensive and not included in our normal full-time rate but it is a small price to pay to put food on our table and have enough money to pay the bills. The problems is that as the boys get older it gets to be more difficult to be away from them on weekends. I can still find childcare but now Jacob is being forced to sacrifice his activities for my work schedule.

It just frustrates me to see my children miss out on activities because I can't get a job without weekends or at least get my time off requests approved to take him to weekend activities. Today's frustration is with t-ball. Jacob has wanted to play baseball since he was 2 years old. We watch it together on TV and he has been patiently waiting to be old enough. He is finally old enough and I managed to find someone to take him to all of the games I am working during. I just can't seem to get him to practice. None of them. I feel horrible and he is very disappointed. Yet I still have to work.

I am really hoping that this is the last summer I am at my current job. I received my social worker training certificate last week and can start applying for jobs. I will qualify for the regular certificate after May and plan to get it as soon as I can. Working weekends is going to get tougher as Jacob gets older so I hope I can find a job with fewer weekend hours before then. I have just over a year to figure it out.