Waiting For Children

I had a conversation yesterday that I just have to shake my head at and think how right this woman is. I will call her G. G has a wonderful daughter and desperately wants to have another child. I know exactly how she feels. The pull to have the children of your dreams only grows stronger with the passing years. This woman is unable to adopt for political reasons for at least four more years. With increasing wait times in most programs, she will probably wait at least 6 years to bring another child into her home.

This isn't what amazes me. I remember being in a huge hurry to bring my son into my home. I am one of those people that will quietly ponder an idea (especially if I believe it may be controversial) and then just make a decision. Once that decision is made, I don't let go of it very easily. When I began the process to adopt Jacob, all I could think about was that child that I wanted so desperately. I read books, watched movies, attended classes and shopped. I searched all the waiting child lists I could find hoping to find my son. I think on some level I knew my son was on a waiting child list. I do regret that it took me three plus months to find him (he was on the list for seven months waiting for me).

I knew when I met Jacob that I want another child. I have spent hours trying to decide how to bring that child into my home. Do I adopt an older child from foster care? (I now know that answer is no). Do I save every penny I can for an infant from another country? (That is what I plan to do now). I have made the decision and now spend time worrying about finding the money and timing the adoption. It needs to be completed after next May so that I can use my car payment for daycare. It needs to be completed and finalized here before December 31, 2010 so that I don't lose $6000 in adoption tax credits. It needs to be the right child for my family.

These are the thoughts I have as I try to work towards adopting a second child. It makes this woman's attitude even more unbelievable. Instead of concentrating on how long it will be until she is able to welcome another child into her home, she concentrates on the blessings she has. She is grateful for the daughter she has and states if she never has another child she knows she is blessed. She states that she knows in her heart she will adopt a child in a few years and is patiently waiting until the government tells her she can. She states she is using this time to try to save up money for the adoption and to make her life better.

I have to admit I am not that patient. I am anxious and eager to get the money saved so that I can get the process started and the official wait for my child. I worry that my child will appear on a waiting child list like Jacob did and I won't be ready for him/her. I anticipate adopting an infant girl but I was sure Jacob would be an infant under 12 months also. I learned during his process that I need to be ready when God sends my child to me. That he/she may not be the child I picture in my mind but God will let me know when I find him/her. The day is coming that I will hold him/her but that day is most likely at least two years away. I need to try to be as patient and understanding as G.