I love my boys. Everyday I realize that I love them more than the day before. This is amazing because I never knew I could love anything or anyone this much. I am not a person who cries easily but yet my sons can move me to tears. Tonight I had one of those moments.
The church school kids were going parading around the sanctuary holding palm branches while the adults sang the opening song. While this sight was beautiful, the proud smile on my son's face was even more beautiful. Jacob was so happy that he was shining. He waved his branch high while walking with an older child he had been paired with. I was moved to tears. The woman sitting behind me saw me wipe my eyes reached over to rub my shoulder. She was smiling and I could tell she understood my feelings. She must be a mom also.
Unfortunately, that is the only moment tonight where I can say I really enjoyed my children. Not because they aren't great kids but because their behavior and choices were not great tonight.
It started at McDonald's. We made a fairly lengthy stop to have dinner and play between work and church. The children played well while I had the opportunity to talk to a woman I haven't seen in about three years. After about 45 minutes, I told the kids it was time to go. M came to me immediately. Jacob yelled, "No!" and continued to climb around the play equipment. It took several more minutes and being told he would lose his movies before he finally came down. Only to put his shoes on and then run back up the slide laughing.
We went to church where Jacob showed how wonderful he can be. Until children's time. Then the poor behavior started again. He didn't sit still or follow the pastor's directions. He played with the offering plates that were set up for communion and enjoyed laughing and playing with the palm leaves rather than listening. When he came to the pew I was in, I told him to sit down. He ran away instead and back up to the front of the church. Luckily, children's time was still going on and nobody seemed to mind (except me).
Now we are home and the boys are not happy with me. Jacob is going to bed early for his antics. He has also lost the privilege to watch any of his movies tomorrow. M decided that he also did not want to go to bed tonight. Usually bedtime is not a problem but tonight our home looks like an episode of Supernanny. I have made numerous trips down the hallway to put the boys back into their beds. I am ignoring their calls for me knowing that they are only stalling.
I am also trying to remember to be patient and that they will only be young for a little while. After all, this too shall pass. It will pass quickly and someday I will wish that they were little again. Tonight I wish I had a partner who could tagteam with me or maybe just give me a break. Instead, I will continue to discipline and try to remain consistent. I will look forward to the quiet once they are both asleep and be thankful that nights like tonight are rare in this house. They are growing up too quickly for my likes and even tonight is a blessing. Just not as much fun as other nights.
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